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Lorne Ladner
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The Lost Art of Compassion: Discovering the Practice of Happiness in the Meeting of Buddhism and Psychology Kindle Edition

by Lorne Ladner (Author), Robert Thurman (Foreword) Format: Kindle Edition
4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 81 ratings
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A practical guide to cultivating compassion in those difficult moments of daily life: “Inspiring for all of us, therapists and patients alike.” —Mark Epstein, MD, author of Thoughts Without a Thinker

Compassion is often seen as a distant, altruistic ideal cultivated by saints, or as an unrealistic response of the naively kind-hearted. Seeing compassion in this way, we lose out on experiencing the transformative potential of one of our most neglected inner resources.

Dr. Lorne Ladner rescues compassion from this marginalized, idealized place, showing how its practical application in our life can be a powerful force in achieving happiness. Combining the wisdom of Tibetan Buddhism and Western psychology, Ladner presents clear, effective practices for cultivating compassion in daily living.

“[A] realistic, manageable approach to dispelling bitterness and anger and replacing it with empathy and patience.” —Publishers Weekly

“You’ve probably noticed you can’t make yourself happy. Exercising compassion will not only get you through many a traffic jam . . . it will begin building an unshakeable happiness . . . a wonderful book.” —Annie Dillard, author of Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

Includes a foreword by Robert Thurman
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  1. Print length
    344 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    HarperOne
  4. Publication date
    October 13, 2009
  5. File size
    2.7 MB
  6. Page Flip
    Enabled
  7. Word Wise
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  8. Enhanced typesetting
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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

For modern Westerners groomed to be competitive, insatiable, and as hyperactive as hamsters, The Lost Art of Compassion stops us dead in our frantic tracks. With a zenlike whack to the side of our heads, Ladner deftly applies the pragmatic methods of Buddhism to psychology, reminding us that genuine happiness won't come from our misdirected striving and craving. A clinical psychologist and longtime Tibetan practitioner, Ladner has written a deeply innovative and kind how-to guide that reclaims the foundations of authentic contentment and compassion. The Western practice of psychology has taught us to work with damaging emotions and patterns, but according to Ladner has not offered "even one clear, practical, well-researched method for people to use to develop compassion." In contrast, the Buddhist tradition of mind-training focuses on the steady cultivation of positive emotions and mental states such as affection, even-mindedness, empathy, gratitude, and especially compassion. By practicing, we not only free ourselves from negative emotions, but are moved to ease the human suffering around us that is fed by such emotions. Richly combining his years of clinical and spiritual work, Ladner offers 10 reflective practices that drill out "the ego's calcifications" and distorting self images, opening the space for compassion. Emphasizing that "you cannot give others what you do not have yourself," his method gradually builds outward from establishing a secure self to caring for others. And, somehow, he does this without making us feel like we need to be Mother Teresa by next week. Ladner has never forgotten how he once heard someone in Los Angeles ask the Dalai Lama "what was the 'quickest and easiest' way to enlightenment." The Dalai Lama bowed his head and began to cry. Not fast-food, Ladner's book is a gift of compassion in itself once anyone puts it to practice. --Deborah Easter

From Publishers Weekly

As the president of the Guhyasamaja Buddhist Center in Virginia, Ladner is a strong proponent of the Buddhist practice of compassion, which develops positive emotions through mental exercises. "Cultivating compassion is the single most effective way to make oneself psychologically healthy, happy and joyful," Ladner writes. "It is a direct antidote to prejudice and aggression." The author, who also works as a clinical psychologist, bemoans the lack of attention compassion receives in the West, and argues that most psychotherapists do little to help their patients increase their feelings of happiness. Nonetheless, Ladner does draw upon both Eastern and Western examples in this book, referring to sources as diverse as Jesus, T.S. Eliot, Lama Zopa Rinpoche and the Dalai Lama, as well as including numerous anecdotes from his clinical practice. Though the exercises that Ladner recommends are sometime quite elaborate-one them involves identifying your "narcissistic patterns," personifying them as enemies and battling against them-he carefully walks readers through them one chapter at a time and then organizes them into a helpful "Summary of Compassion Practices" at the end of the book. To inspire readers, Landner cites the many recent studies showing that aspects of practicing compassion can significantly improve people's stress levels and their communication and relationships with others. Readers eager to test those findings for themselves should appreciate this book's realistic, manageable approach to dispelling bitterness and anger and replacing it with empathy and patience.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B000ROKXYW
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ HarperOne; Reprint edition (October 13, 2009)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ October 13, 2009
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 2.7 MB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 344 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 81 ratings

About the author

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Lorne Ladner

Lorne Ladner

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Dr. Lorne Ladner, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist in private practice in the Northern Virginia suburbs of Washington, DC. He provides individual psychotherapy, family therapy, and assessments. Dr. Ladner also provides workshops and trainings on the psychology of positive emotions, the integration of meditation and psychotherapy, and on Buddhist psychology. Dr. Ladner also serves as Director of the Guhyasamaja Center in Northern Virginia, where he regularly teaches courses on meditation and Buddhist psychology, practice, and philosophy.

He is the author of a number of books and articles including The Lost Art of Compassion: Discovering The Practice Of Happiness In The Meeting Of Buddhism And Psychology (HarperCollins, 2004). He also edited Gyumed Khensur Rinpoche Lobsang Jampa's book The Easy Path: Illuminating The First Panchen Lama's Secret Instructions (Wisdom Publications, 2013).

In addition to his Ph.D. in psychology (from Pacifica Graduate Institute), Dr. Ladner has also earned a B.A. with high honors in Religious Studies (from Wesleyan University) and an M.A. in non-fiction writing (from the University of New Hampshire). Other books by him include Bridges of Compassion: Insights And Interventions In Developmental Disabilities, co-authored with Alex Campbell and published in 1999 by Jason Aronson, Inc., and The Wheel Of Great Compassion: The Practice Of The Prayer Wheel In Tibetan Buddhism, published by Wisdom Publications in 2000. He also produced a video on integrating mindfulness meditation with psychotherapy published in 2006 by the American Psychological Association Press, entitled Mindful Therapy.

Dr. Ladner has also taught Buddhist meditation for a number of years at various meditation centers around the East Coast. He has taught workshops on using meditation in integration with psychotherapy — especially for evoking positive emotions such as compassion — at venues including Omega Institute, Tibet House, The New York Open Center, The Virginia and Maryland Psychological Associations, The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine, and the Smithsonian in Washington, DC. He also teaches workshops on these subjects for clinicians.

For more information about Dr. Ladner's work, please see:

www.lorneladner.com

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4.5 out of 5 stars
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Customers say

Customers find the book easy to read and inspiring. They appreciate the insightful psychological and enlightening content, as well as the clear writing style that helps them connect at an intellectual and intuitive level. The authors provide relatable examples and personal insights that make the text interesting for them. Overall, customers describe the book as well-written and informative.

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13 customers mention "Readability"13 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and engaging. They say it's an important work that will remain part of their reference library for life. The book offers practical insights and is inspiring.

"...Both are excellent! They explain the communities between Buddhist and Western psychologies...." Read more

"...Again, an excellent book. I've read many books on compassion, including those authored by Sharon Salzberg, Christopher Germer, and the Dalai Lama...." Read more

"...hundreds of books, this has remained one of the most important works I've ever read...." Read more

"...It was absolutely fantastic...one of the best books I have ever read...." Read more

11 customers mention "Insight"11 positive0 negative

Customers find the book insightful and enlightening. It helps them make connections at an intellectual and intuitive level. The book provides real-life examples about compassion, kindness, and enlightenment. They appreciate the synthesis of psychology and Buddhism. Readers also mention that the book is deeply rooted in Buddhism and appeals to other religions.

"...Though both of these books are deeply rooted in Buddhism, their insightful humanity appeal members of other religions as well--especially Christians..." Read more

"...For those interested in psychology alone, the Lost Art of Compassion is fascinating (and again this is coming from someone who majored in the field)...." Read more

"If you care about yourself - your emotional well being, practical things you can do to learn to deal with stress, letting go, and creating balance -..." Read more

"...(or any spirituality) and psychology, this book helped me to make connections at an intellectual as well as intuitive level that have benefited me..." Read more

3 customers mention "Pacing"3 positive0 negative

Customers enjoy the book's pacing. They find it relatable and interesting, with enough autobiographical information to make it personal. The authors are described as friendly and personable.

"...Both authors add enough autobiographical information to make the text interesting personally...." Read more

"...Dr. Ladner was very friendly and personable...." Read more

"...It is beautifully written, and I found myself able to relate to so many of the examples he provided. I can't wait for Lardner's next book." Read more

3 customers mention "Writing quality"3 positive0 negative

Customers find the writing clear and well-researched. They say the author knows his subjects well and presents them clearly.

"...The author knows his subjects well, and clearly and simply states them in ways that the Western mind can understand...." Read more

"...It is beautifully written, and I found myself able to relate to so many of the examples he provided. I can't wait for Lardner's next book." Read more

"Well written and well researched. I have read hundreds of books on Buddhism and this ranks up there with the best. JJL" Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • John R. Amos, JCD
    5.0 out of 5 stars Similar to another book I just read and enjoyed
    Reviewed in the United States on April 1, 2014
    Verified Purchase
    The same friend who recommended The Lost Art of Compassion also recommended Radical Acceptance. Both are excellent! They explain the communities between Buddhist and Western psychologies. Both authors add enough autobiographical information to make the text interesting personally. Tara Brach, author of Radical Acceptance, is "a beloved meditation teacher and psychotherapist" according to her book's introduction. One read demonstrates this is so. Lorne Ladner Ph.D., author of The Lost Art, is similarly educated. "And", as the introduction to his book says, "he is a skillful practitioner of compassion in action in the most intimate healing setting of all, as a therapist and spiritual friend (kalyanamitra) of intelligent contemporary people who are suffering who suffering from the kind of confusions and stresses of the modern psyche and society that we can recognize all too well."

    Tara Brach's volume takes the reader through her college years, like in an ashram, betrayal by a teacher, the death of a child, two failed marriages--one of which was arranged--the growing relationship with a son born of the second union, etc. Each chapter ends with a meditation or guided reflection designed to help us readers awaken from our trances. Lorne Ladner focuses more on patients he has helped. His exercises to help break trances are more cerebral than Tara's, but there is a helpful summary of all of them at the end of the book. Tara's book also contains accounts of how she has helped patients.

    Though both of these books are deeply rooted in Buddhism, their insightful humanity appeal members of other religions as well--especially Christians, Jews, and Moslems with mystical inclinations.

    John R. Amos, JCD
    4 people found this helpful
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  • Jack Smith
    5.0 out of 5 stars A Fascinating and Pragmatic Book
    Reviewed in the United States on November 16, 2011
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    As my father passed away from cancer, I became intrigued with some of the spiritual books my father was reading. Among these books were several about Buddhism. Prior to my father's terminal illness (~6 years ago), I had never been tremendously spiritual. But something about the Buddhist books my father read resonated with me. Having pursued an undergraduate degree in psychology and struggling to find meaning and happiness in my own life, I came across this book.

    For those interested in psychology alone, the Lost Art of Compassion is fascinating (and again this is coming from someone who majored in the field). But his synthesis of psychology and Buddhism is remarkable and tremendously enlightening. This is truly a fascinating read and very practical- he offers concrete exercises to cultivate greater compassion.

    A year or so after my father's passing I had the opportunity meet Dr. Ladner in his Virginia office (he is a practicing psychologist in the DC-metro area). Dr. Ladner was very friendly and personable. In the time I resided in the DC area I came to appreciate the extent to which Dr. Ladner is involved in the thriving Buddhist community there. After reading The Lost Art of Compassion, I was tremendously impressed with Dr. Ladner's knowledge and pragmatism. Following our meeting and periodic exchanged emails, I can attest that Dr. Ladner does indeed embody the ideals of compassion and happiness he so successfully writes about.

    Again, an excellent book. I've read many books on compassion, including those authored by Sharon Salzberg, Christopher Germer, and the Dalai Lama. Honestly this is one of the best books on the topic.
    17 people found this helpful
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  • J.D.
    5.0 out of 5 stars One of the most important books I've ever read
    Reviewed in the United States on July 5, 2012
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    If you care about yourself - your emotional well being, practical things you can do to learn to deal with stress, letting go, and creating balance - you should read this book.

    Always a self improvement enthusiast, reading numerous psychology books, magazines, self help books, and literally hundreds of books, this has remained one of the most important works I've ever read. It sort of put it all together, gave me a great overview of Buddhist thought (I had no real knowledge of it) and explained that in many ways, for thousands of years, Buddhism has been tackling emotional well being before psychology really developed with its own set of vocabulary, theories, and ideas.

    I found the book extremely useful. It is set up in to about 12 progressive chapters that help guide you from being happy, healthy, and compassionate (or loving) of yourself first, then those around you , not the other way around. Having grown up in church (my father and grandfather were preachers), I've always looked for tangible things we can do to be more kind, loving, and happy. This book gets you off in the right direction by sharing very important techniques that have been learned, explored, improved, and handed down for thousands of years.

    I've honestly already given over a dozen copies away to friends, coworkers, and people who have been struggling with their lives and have re read the book numerous times. I highly recommend it.
    12 people found this helpful
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  • daisy
    4.0 out of 5 stars lost art is an eye opener
    Reviewed in the United States on June 3, 2013
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    I needed some good reading material while lounge my days away by the pool this summer. This one makes you think :)
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Jennifer Brodeur
    5.0 out of 5 stars One of the best books I've ever read
    Reviewed in the United States on September 11, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    This book clarified so much for me in terms of the Buddhist view of compassion. Some ideas were a little hard to grasp until I read this book. It was absolutely fantastic...one of the best books I have ever read. The author knows his subjects well, and clearly and simply states them in ways that the Western mind can understand. Being interested in both Buddhism (or any spirituality) and psychology, this book helped me to make connections at an intellectual as well as intuitive level that have benefited me personally, as well as my outlook on others (which has benefited them). I am constantly recommending this book to others if they want to understand true compassion more clearly.
    19 people found this helpful
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  • Martin
    5.0 out of 5 stars Training for compassion
    Reviewed in the United States on November 6, 2022
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    This is a very informative and enlightening book. This book is an inspiration to me and it will be part of my reference library for life!
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars but it's come highly recommended by someone who's well-read on the top of mindfulness ...
    Reviewed in Canada on May 12, 2017
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    Haven't read the book, but it's come highly recommended by someone who's well-read on the top of mindfulness and compassion.
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  • 吉次　通泰
    4.0 out of 5 stars 終末期医療の診察に有用
    Reviewed in Japan on September 24, 2017
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    Th Lost of Compassion は、診療、特に、終末期医療にとり有用な書物と思われっます。
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  • Banzaiboy
    5.0 out of 5 stars Beutifully written and well considered
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 23, 2012
    Verified Purchase
    At over 280 pages, Dr Ladner has done well to create an accessible and insightful piece that covers compassion from all angles. His obvious experience of Tibetan Buddhism is evident, and has no doubt helped him to juxtapose Western and Buddhist psychology almost seamlessly. Interspersed with a number of suggested meditations, this is probably one of the best non-Buddhist reads on compassion I have encountered. I managed to read this in a few days, but it's one of those books I know I will be referring back to again and again. No matter whether you are a practicing Buddhist, psychologist/counsellor, or just someone wishing to lead a more fulfilling life, you could do infinitely worse than reading this book.
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  • Diogo
    5.0 out of 5 stars Totally worth it!
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 8, 2010
    Verified Purchase
    Fantastic book!
    The best combination of western and Buddhist psychology, written in the most accessible and easy to read way!
    A must have for those interested in getting to know how to increase their sense of well being!
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