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The Handjob Handbook: A Work of Non-Friction Kindle Edition

3.9 3.9 out of 5 stars 19 ratings


With a little practice and a lot of passion, sexual power is easily within your grasp

In the sport of love, there are times when only an
hj will do. It's fun. It's practical. It's quick. But let's face it: the handjob is the lowly stepsister to the far more glamorous blowjob. The authors of The Handjob Handbook think that's unfair. If a handjob's worth doing, it's worth doing well, and this helpful, humorous guide, complete with twenty-five sure-to-please techniques, will show you how...

The Basic - The Flatterer - The Jiffy Pop - Ants Climbing Up a Hill - Headless Horseman - The James Bond - Squeeze Play - E-Z- Pass - The OK Handjob - The Girl Scout - The PlayStation - The Twist Off - Climbing the Rope - The Upstroke - Tainted Love - Taint Misbehavin' - The TKO - The Frozen Rope - The Handoff - Kneading Dough - Candy Cane - Merry Christmas - The Metronome - Taffy Pull - The Italian Job

Witty, empowering, and playfully erotic, it delivers useful advice in a fun and creative format. The eyes may be the window to the soul, but the hands are the key to a gift that keeps on giving.
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Marsha Normandy and Joseph St. James are also the authors of SSE's THE HANDJOB HANDBOOK (Summer 2008).

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Introduction

Men are born knowing how to touch themselves. From the earliest age they know they have a very special toy. Women, on the other hand, have to learn as they go. Maybe it's because the Ken doll doesn't have a penis, but many women grow up somewhat clueless in the proper handling of the male anatomy. Handjobs are a talent, but unlike needlepoint or Nana's secret marinara sauce recipe, they are not something that get passed down from one generation to the next. Instead, she usually has to receive on-the-job training from her first boyfriend, who is just so excited that someone else is touching him that he's not all that discerning.

Let's face it, though: The handjob is the lowly stepsister to the far more glamorous blow job. We think that's unfair. There are many times and places when and where nothing but an HJ will do. It's fun. It's practical. Sometimes it's just quick, and it's always safe (not to mention more sanitary). Whether a skillful handjob is the evening's main event or a teasing demonstration of pleasures to come, it's a craft that, once learned, can serve a woman over a lifetime. A skilled hand is something that -- and I'm sure we'll all agree on this one -- every man can appreciate. It's truly a gift, and one worth sharing.

The Handjob Handbook takes a solo pursuit to new shared heights. What was once a top-secret society will now be exposed for all women who want to give pleasure via this timeless art form. With a little practice and a lot of passion, sexual power is easily within your grasp.

Text copyright © 2008 by Marsha Normandy and Joseph St. James

Boning Up

Most of this book comes out of practical experience by us authors, both Marsha and Joseph, as we bring our unique perspectives to the table. However, a few words of encouragement from just Marsha are necessary. Like most men, Joseph is results oriented -- he's not interested in how you develop the confidence in becoming a skilled practitioner, he just wants to reap the fruits of your labor. But before we get into the technical aspect of all things phallus related, where Joseph can wow us with his expertise, allow Marsha a few words about self-empowerment:

At some time in our lives, most straight women face the fact that we feel insecure about how to perform certain sexual maneuvers on our mates. How do we know we're doing it right? Other than a few moans or "yeah, baby"s, how can we really understand what makes it work for them? One thing you'll learn from reading this book is how to get more comfortable with your man's body. As a whole, guys aren't more excited by handjobs than other sexual acts because we are understandably less skilled at it than they are. By the time your guy hits thirty, his penis has enjoyed literally thousands of self-administered HJs. What seems so routine to males can be intimidating to us. When your man expects the mundane, surprise and delight him with your newfound prowess.

I can't emphasize enough that relaxing and learning not to fear his body (his penis in particular) can transform your whole relationship. Your fingers reveal a lot more than you think about how you feel about your man. (Also, guys love it when you admire their proud members.)

I know that penises are kind of mystifying (and can look, well, weird), but a good handjob begins with an authoritative touch. Let's spend a little time down there familiarizing ourselves.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00305CY9M
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Gallery Books; 1st edition (December 8, 2009)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ December 8, 2009
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 3202 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 58 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    3.9 3.9 out of 5 stars 19 ratings

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Customer reviews

3.9 out of 5 stars
3.9 out of 5
19 global ratings
"With a little practice and a lot of passion, sexual power is easily within your grasp."
4 Stars
"With a little practice and a lot of passion, sexual power is easily within your grasp."
I dont know what's up with the negative reviews!I am getting this as a bachelorette party gift. And the bride is younger and hopefully not already into S&M hanging from the ceiling stuff. I think its great because there's not pictures of penises everywhere in the book. To me, the penis isn't something I want to have popping up everytime I turn the page of a book. But, to each her own. Actually there's not one picture of an actual penis. But they do have a great drawing of a banana and kiwis that shows well enough where the shaft, ridge, frenulum, etc are. The actual descriptions of the handjobs themselves have no instructional drawings (but they do have drawings! Like for "The Italian Job" they have a drawing of two Everest Mtns).The shock of actually owning this book or having it as a conversation starter aside (lolwut?), I do think the book has useful information in it. And it's descriptive enough that anyone with half a brain can figure out what they're talking about (even without pictures). There's 25 different types of handjobs. Most only 3 or 4 steps long. I thought the writing was a little funny and tongue in cheek.The book is not long. It has those cardboard pages and slightly foamy cover. The pages inside are hot pink! Only $10 (as of today)!
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on February 24, 2023
This was a great way to things up. We used it together and had a great time reading it and trying out different things. The names of the techniques are hilarious and helpfully mnemonic.
Reviewed in the United States on March 16, 2016
Overall this is a great, informative read. Some of the descriptions are a little hard to grasp, and I think maybe some basic illustrations would have gone a long way. I did learn some new things, so I got what I was looking for out of it.
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on April 4, 2015
good
Reviewed in the United States on August 8, 2009
As a woman I wanted to learn more about giving a great HJ because I don't possess equipment to be, as the reviewer wrote, "instinctive" with. There are no diagrams of hand placement in this entire book, so I found it lacking in usefulness. I could simply crack it open with my lover, and someday may, but I would rather simply effortlessly seemed to have come up with some new skills on my own; ya know?

The book seems to have great ideas, but as a woman I found that without more graphic "how to" pictures giving step by step illustrations, and no one to try them on at the time, I was a bit unsure I'll ever try any of these on my guy.

If I may, here's an excerpt. Keep in mind there are no images of how this would be if being performed.
1. Place your hands on opposite sides of the * at slightly diagonal angles.

Maybe I'm extremely visual, but I would love to see a diagram of this position, so I'm not misunderstanding how I am imagining the author expects me to perform this maneuver. The book would be great for guys who do have the "instinctive" sense of what they are already doing and just want to add new sensations & skills.
15 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on June 4, 2010
This is a fun book to read and possibly joke about with your significant other. But other than that it's nothing new. I have only used one idea from it, and I'm pretty sure I'm not even doing it the right way. With no diagrams or photos it is very difficult to get the whole picture. But I still think it looks fun on my bookshelf and is sure a conversation starter when people see it.
5 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on February 17, 2014
After being married for many years this was just the fun thing to spice things up. I would recommend it for anyone that wants to add something different to their shared quality time.
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on August 15, 2015
Thoughtfully well written.
Reviewed in the United States on October 10, 2008
Don't waste your time and money. I was expecting some new ideas, but this book was full of techniques that every thirteen year old boy has tried.
5 people found this helpful
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