Kindle
$12.75
Available instantly
Audible Logo Audiobook
$0.00
with membership trial
Paperback
$7.71
Kindle Price: $12.75

Promotions apply when you purchase

These promotions will be applied to this item:

Some promotions may be combined; others are not eligible to be combined with other offers. For details, please see the Terms & Conditions associated with these promotions.

Audiobook Price: $17.46

Save: $9.97 (57%)

Read with our free app
You've subscribed to ! We will preorder your items within 24 hours of when they become available. When new books are released, we'll charge your default payment method for the lowest price available during the pre-order period.
Update your device or payment method, cancel individual pre-orders or your subscription at
Your Memberships & Subscriptions

Buy for others

Give as a gift or purchase for a team or group.
Learn more

Buying and sending eBooks to others

  1. Select quantity
  2. Buy and send eBooks
  3. Recipients can read on any device

These ebooks can only be redeemed by recipients in the US. Redemption links and eBooks cannot be resold.
Kindle app logo image

Download the free Kindle app and start reading Kindle books instantly on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.

Read instantly on your browser with Kindle for Web.

Using your mobile phone camera - scan the code below and download the Kindle app.

QR code to download the Kindle App

Follow the author

J.A. Kazimer
+ Follow
More books from this author
Something went wrong. Please try your request again later.

Curses!: A F***ed-Up Fairytale Kindle Edition

by J.A. Kazimer (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
3.7 3.7 out of 5 stars 86 ratings
See all formats and editions
CURSES! A F***ed-Up Fairytale has over 100 five star reviews on goodreads.
Definitely not for baby's bedtime reading, this hilarious and irreverent take on classic fairytales--think Shrek for grownups--combines humor, mystery, and characters only a fairy godmother could love...

When Cinderella is run over by a New Never City bus, her not-so-ugly stepsister, Asia, suspects murder. So she hires RJ, a private eye, to investigate. Little does she know RJ is actually a villain on mental health leave from the Villain's Union. Cursed with an inability to say no to damsels in distress, RJ travels to the Kingdom of Maldetto, meets the rest of Cinderella's family--including her fiancé, the flamboyant Prince Charming, Cinderella's crazy stepmother, and a seriously twisted version of Hansel and Gretel--and dodges bullets, explosions, fires, and his own ex-wife to slip his own version of glass handcuffs on the wrists that fit. All while falling for Asia, who has a curse of her own to deal with...
 
Fabulous, frolicsome, and delightfully F***ed-Up, Kazimer's debut is a thoroughly fun read. - Nicole Peeler, author of the True Jane Series.

Forget everything you know about Cinderella and her sisters. J.A. Kazimer sets the record straight with wit, humor and a hell of an imagination! - Jeanne C. Stein, National Bestselling Author of The Anna Strong Vampire Chronicles

"More than f*cked up. Demented. Hilarious. Kazimer is going to warp a lot of minds and they're going to thank her."  - Mario Acevedo, author of Werewolf Smackdown
Read more Read less
Previous page
  1. Print length
    321 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Sticky notes
    On Kindle Scribe
  4. Publisher
    Kensington Books
  5. Publication date
    October 24, 2011
  6. File size
    902 KB
  7. Page Flip
    Enabled
  8. Word Wise
    Enabled
  9. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
  10. See all details
Next page
Add a debit or credit card to save time when you check out
Convenient and secure with 2 clicks. Add your card

Customers who bought this item also bought

Page 1 of 1 Start overPage 1 of 1
Previous page
  1. Froggy Style
Next page

Editorial Reviews

Review

This book had me laughing out loud. The author does a wonderful job of bringing the characters and their world into the here and now. I loved seeing many of the characters in this new light. I enjoyed my visit and cannot wait to come back again to see just what will happen next.

- You Gotta Read Reviews

It will keep any mystery, romance, or mystery/romance fan up reading past their bedtime. Throw in the "fractured fairytales," and anyone may find themselves still reading at dawn...

- Dan Porter, The Chaotic Reader

Blending favorite fairy tale characters with today's cultural references and sensibilities, Curses! flips the childhood staple on its head to create a wholly adult, and highly entertaining, reading experience.

- Gabrielle Gantz, The Nervous Breakdown

From the Back Cover

I'm no hero. In fact, up until a couple of days ago, I was the villain. Kidnapped maidens, scared kids, stole magic tchotchkes--until I got into a little scrape with the union. Now I'm cursed with the worst fate in New Never City--no matter what I do, I gotta be nice.

So when a head-case princess named Asia barges into my apartment and asks me to find out who whacked her stepsister, Cinderella, I have no choice but to help her. And I'm more than willing to head back to her parents' castle and do some investigating if it means I can get into her black leather cat suit. Except this twisted sister has a family nutty enough to send the Biggest Baddest Wolf running for the hills--and a freaky little curse of her own. . .

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B005QFC6SI
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Kensington Books; 1st edition (October 24, 2011)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ October 24, 2011
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 902 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 321 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    3.7 3.7 out of 5 stars 86 ratings

About the author

Follow authors to get new release updates, plus improved recommendations.
J.A. Kazimer

J.A. Kazimer

Brief content visible, double tap to read full content.
Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

J.A. Kazimer lives in Denver, CO. When she isn't looking for a place to hide the bodies, she devotes her time to playing with a pup named Killer and writing. Other hobbies include murdering houseplants. She spent a few years working as a private investigator before transitioning to the moniker of WRITER and penning over 15 titles.

Visit jakazimer.com and sign up for her THIS LITTLE PIGGY WENT TO MURDER Newsletter.



Customer reviews

3.7 out of 5 stars
3.7 out of 5
86 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Lisa Hutson
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it!
Reviewed in the United States on April 1, 2012
Verified Purchase
Loved this book. Hilarious from start to finish.
I would not hesitate to recommend this book if not for the cover.
It will put off even the most foul mouthed people.
But the f word was not used in the story any more often
than any movie you see. The sex scenes were nothing to make
any adult blush.
It was a total love story. With a little mystery in the background.
And it was HILARIOUS! Men & women alike would love it.
I loved it. And I will buy the froggy one if I see it.
Helpful
 Report
Melissa A. Palmer
3.0 out of 5 stars Curses
Reviewed in the United States on June 16, 2012
Verified Purchase
Curses

RJ is one bad villian--until he is cursed so that he can only do good things. This is cramping his evil style. But he begins to see a possible good side of his imposed newfound goodness when he meets Asia, Cinderella's stepsister. Asia wants to hire RJ, as she believes him to be a great investigator. Cinderella has been killed in traffic. Was it an accident or murder?

This book takes characters from famous fairy tales and brings them to life. The Big Bad Wolf is pelt decor. The birds that Cinderella was always surrounded by could be ploys to get her into oncoming traffic. RJ sees the evil side to the life of fairy tale land. But he describes it in a humorous way that will leave readers smiling. I liked RJ's style.

This book was sent to me by the author in exchange for a review.
[...]
Helpful
 Report
Robert Downs
4.0 out of 5 stars Twisted Fun
Reviewed in the United States on January 6, 2013
Verified Purchase
Among other things, this book is aptly titled, because let's face it (and get this out of the way right now): this isn't your mother's fairy tale. Is that a bad thing? Hell no. Sure, the antics are a bit outrageous at times, but one definition of good comedy is that it resides in the extremes, and there are plenty of extremes to be had. I could give you a play-by-play, but you should enjoy it for yourself the first time, without me spoiling most of the fun for you. And there is fun to be had if, like the characters, you let yourself go for a bit, or as long as it takes you to go from "Once upon a time..." to The End.

Having met the author at the 2012 Left Coast Crime Conference, I was a little hesitant to read this book on my Kindle, even though I purchased it from Amazon on May 1, 2012. What if I didn't like CURSES! or I developed a different impression of the author after having read her novel? Those concerns seem rather trivial now, after having read, and thoroughly enjoyed this twist on Cinderella with the forced-to-be-nice villain RJ. With evilly attractive stepsisters, a serial killer in the red hood, one dead Dumpty, and an overpowering Miss Muffet, there's something for everyone.

J.A. Kazimer proves she knows her fairy tales, and she's not afraid to jerk them around for her own twisted amusement. If you love alternate reality fairy tales, you'll want to run, not walk, to your local bookstore, or your favorite online venue, and grab your copy today.

Robert Downs
Author of Falling Immortality: Casey Holden, Private Investigator
One person found this helpful
Helpful
 Report
Judy
5.0 out of 5 stars A real hoot!
Reviewed in the United States on February 18, 2020
Verified Purchase
Another take on a well loved story. With humor and twists that will have you laughing and trying to figure things out at the same time. Another to read when you want something different.
One person found this helpful
Helpful
 Report
Alison Roussell
1.0 out of 5 stars Just really bad
Reviewed in the United States on June 4, 2012
Verified Purchase
First off, I'll start with the main thing that irritated me about this book. Cross stitch and knitting are NOT THE SAME!!! No one would EVER have 'knitting needles hanging off a beautiful cross stitch' or whatever the line was. I know this is a nerdy thing to say and only a woman would know it, but to use it once as a lame joke was bad enough, but then it was revisited. Even less funny the second time and I didn't think that was possible. The sad part is that it would have taken about 60 seconds of research to figure this out, but I guess the author doesn't care. The humor was very obvious and painful at times and I didn't laugh once. The only reason I'm giving it one star is the fact that I'm going to finish it because I want to know how it ends. I was really hopeful after reading the reviews, but this is just turning out to be a bad impression of a Harry Dresden novel with uninspired names, tragic attempts at jokes and main characters the reader can't even find reasons to care about.
7 people found this helpful
Helpful
 Report
Bethany Frost
3.0 out of 5 stars Meh
Reviewed in the United States on July 25, 2015
Verified Purchase
I liked the idea of this story, but the story its self was such a let down. It was predictable, and while there were a couple twists, I didn't like how RJ seemed to constantly be covered in something disgusting. You basically knew who the killer was the whole time. I didn't get a lot of connection between RJ and Asia. I really wanted more.
Helpful
 Report
Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing!!!
Reviewed in the United States on May 25, 2012
Verified Purchase
First I have to say I am a total historic fiction kinda girl. If a book doesn't take place before 1900 I'm not interested. So when I accidentally stumbled on this book I decided to try the sample on my Kindle.....and I was hooked!! Its so outrageous its funny!! I couldn't put the book down!! The characters were so colorful and fun! I highly recommend this book for pure entertainment!!!
One person found this helpful
Helpful
 Report
MommyMorris4
4.0 out of 5 stars Not your ancestors fairytale
Reviewed in the United States on June 22, 2020
Verified Purchase
One of the definitions of impotent:unable to take effective action; helpless or powerless. Keep that in mind while reading the story, because my mind consistently wanted to think of the other definition. Ah, whoa is me! Full of twists, turns, and unexpected plot, this story is a good read for a laugh. The Audible accompanied the book smoothly and added to the humor!
One person found this helpful
Helpful
 Report
Report an issue

Does this item contain inappropriate content?
Report
Do you believe that this item violates a copyright?
Report
Does this item contain quality or formatting issues?
Report