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Stephen Clarke
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1000 Years of Annoying the French Kindle Edition

by Stephen Clarke (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.5 out of 5 stars 1,938 ratings
The author of A Year in the Merde and Talk to the Snail offers a highly biased and hilarious view of French history in this international bestseller.
 
Things have been just a little awkward between Britain and France ever since the Norman invasion in 1066. Fortunately—after years of humorously chronicling the vast cultural gap between the two countries—author Stephen Clarke is perfectly positioned to investigate the historical origins of their occasionally hostile and perpetually entertaining pas de deux.
 
Clarke sets the record straight, documenting how French braggarts and cheats have stolen credit rightfully due their neighbors across the Channel while blaming their own numerous gaffes and failures on those same innocent Brits for the past thousand years. Deeply researched and written with the same sly wit that made A Year in the Merde a comic hit, this lighthearted trip through the past millennium debunks the notion that the Battle of Hastings was a French victory (William the Conqueror was really a Norman who hated the French) and pooh-poohs French outrage over Britain’s murder of Joan of Arc (it was the French who executed her for wearing trousers). He also takes the air out of overblown Gallic claims, challenging the provenance of everything from champagne to the guillotine to prove that the French would be nowhere without British ingenuity.
 
Brits and Anglophiles of every national origin will devour Clarke’s decidedly biased accounts of British triumph and French ignominy. But 1000 Years of Annoying the French will also draw chuckles from good-humored Francophiles as well as “anyone who’s ever encountered a snooty Parisian waiter or found themselves driving on the Boulevard Périphérique during August” (The Daily Mail). A bestseller in Britain, this is an entertaining look at history that fans of Sarah Vowell are sure to enjoy, from the author the San Francisco Chronicle has called “the anti-Mayle . . . acerbic, insulting, un-PC, and mostly hilarious.”
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  1. Print length
    393 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Open Road Media
  4. Publication date
    March 20, 2012
  5. File size
    10.8 MB
  6. Page Flip
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  7. Word Wise
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  8. Enhanced typesetting
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  1. The important thing to the French is not experience, it is leadership – or, more exactly, French-style leadership, which mainly involves ignoring advice from anyone with lots of experience but no French grande école on their CV.
    Highlighted by 37 Kindle readers
  2. France, on the other hand, was like a widow on a Caribbean cruise: rich, available and convenient.
    Highlighted by 35 Kindle readers
  3. William replied, ‘There is one certain means by which I can be sure never to see my country’s ruin. I will die in the last ditch.’ This bit of repartee became so famous that ‘last-ditch’ was adopted into the English language.
    Highlighted by 31 Kindle readers
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Tremendously entertaining.” —The Sunday Times “Relentlessly and energetically rude about almost every aspect of French history and culture.” —The Mail on Sunday

About the Author

Stephen Clarke (b. 1958) is the bestselling author of seven books of fiction and nonfiction that satirize the peculiarities of French culture. Born in St. Albans, England, Clarke studied French and German at Oxford University. After graduating, he took a number of odd jobs, including teaching English to French businessmen. In 2004, he self-published A Year in the Merde, a comic novel skewering contemporary French society. The novel was an instant success and has led to numerous follow-ups, including Dial M for Merde (2008), 1,000 Years of Annoying the French (2010), and Paris Revealed (2011). After working as a journalist for a French press group for ten years, Paris-based Clarke now has a regular spot on French cable TV, poking fun at French culture. 

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B007COJYCM
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Open Road Media (March 20, 2012)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ March 20, 2012
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 10.8 MB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 393 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 out of 5 stars 1,938 ratings

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Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
1,938 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book humorous and entertaining, appreciating how the humor is mixed with history. Moreover, the writing style is simple and easy to read, making it a great way to learn about French and British history. Additionally, they praise its thorough research and informative content, with one customer noting how it draws readers deeper into history and culture.

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100 customers mention "Humor"96 positive4 negative

Customers find the book humorous, appreciating how it blends history with wit and satire, making it an entertaining read.

"...Fun to read. Some really good snarks!" Read more

"A brilliant and hilarious history of the English and the French, and the thousand years from the Battle of Hastings to present day...." Read more

"...I definitely enjoyed his sense of humour...." Read more

"...being told in our French schools, in a absolute delightful and tongue-in-cheek way...." Read more

78 customers mention "Enjoyment"78 positive0 negative

Customers find the book continuously entertaining and worth their time, with one describing it as a breath of fresh air.

"...Fun to read. Some really good snarks!" Read more

"A brilliant and hilarious history of the English and the French, and the thousand years from the Battle of Hastings to present day...." Read more

"...I am no history major, but what it gave me was a sufficient, fun and easy-to-read introduction into French (and English) history over the past..." Read more

"...the history we are being told in our French schools, in a absolute delightful and tongue-in-cheek way...." Read more

73 customers mention "Information quality"73 positive0 negative

Customers find the book informative and well-researched, providing great insights into French and British history, with one customer noting it's required reading for college history students.

"Being a "yankee" I learned a lot about European history and cultural differences. Fun to read. Some really good snarks!" Read more

"...As an historian, Mr. Clarke is well-educated and quite good at recounting details of the relationship of the English and the French in the droll..." Read more

"...academic, but what I do think that what is does do is give the lay reader a fun introduction into what is an inordinately large quantum of history..." Read more

"...A great deal of information." Read more

24 customers mention "Writing style"24 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the writing style of the book, describing it as simple, well-written, and light reading.

"...This is a very accurate history of the English in France, expertly written by one of England's great humorists...." Read more

"...major, but what it gave me was a sufficient, fun and easy-to-read introduction into French (and English) history over the past millenium...." Read more

"...It is a deceptively easy to read book that hides the depth of authors knowledge and makes you want to re-read a chapter in your favorite &#..." Read more

"...However this history book was very straight forward in telling the story of two countries that at times acted and still act like two kids fighting..." Read more

20 customers mention "History content"20 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's historical content, with one customer noting how it draws readers deeper into French culture, while another highlights its witty portrayal of British-French relations.

"...I highly recommend it to anyone who reads history. and enjoys history, but also enjoys laughing at the French. They really are quite a silly bunch." Read more

"...It also does well at giving some insight into the Dark Ages, feudal life, death, torture, revenge, intrigue and suffering..." Read more

"Being French myself I must say I loved this book which is rewriting the history we are being told in our French schools, in a absolute delightful..." Read more

"The author has a great deal of fun with analyzing the French through history and their interaction, in particular, with the English...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • OldGeyser
    5.0 out of 5 stars History lesson with humo(u)r
    Reviewed in the United States on December 6, 2024
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    Being a "yankee" I learned a lot about European history and cultural differences. Fun to read. Some really good snarks!
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  • Douglas Kelly
    4.0 out of 5 stars A laugh out loud history of the English in France by one of England's great humorists.
    Reviewed in the United States on March 18, 2018
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    A brilliant and hilarious history of the English and the French, and the thousand years from the Battle of Hastings to present day. He confirmed my own attitudes from my experience in France. That is, annoying the French is a lot of fun since it's so easy to annoy them.

    As an historian, Mr. Clarke is well-educated and quite good at recounting details of the relationship of the English and the French in the droll humor the English are known for. His history is also quite accurate but more, he tells it a series of laugh out loud anecdotes. I enjoyed this book immensely -- partly because of the usually needless foibles of the monarchs and their minions, but mainly because of the wonderful sense of humor about it all that Mr. Clarke provides.

    This is a very accurate history of the English in France, expertly written by one of England's great humorists. I highly recommend it to anyone who reads history. and enjoys history, but also enjoys laughing at the French. They really are quite a silly bunch.
    7 people found this helpful
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  • N. Warren
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great, witty, easy-to-read, enjoyable and informative.
    Reviewed in the United States on January 9, 2014
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    This is my first Stephen Clark and I really enjoyed it. I am no history major, but what it gave me was a sufficient, fun and easy-to-read introduction into French (and English) history over the past millenium. It also does well at giving some insight into the Dark Ages, feudal life, death, torture, revenge, intrigue and suffering (which seem to have typified those time), the way the aristocracy carried on, war, more war, the Renaissance and Victorian times.

    Again, I am not here to critically pick it apart like some academic, but what I do think that what is does do is give the lay reader a fun introduction into what is an inordinately large quantum of history without having to grind through vast tomes. Naturally, there is going to be superficiality at time, but that's fine with me. I definitely enjoyed his sense of humour.

    So, if you want a fun read and want to whizz by and enjoy the last 1000 years of this era (at the expense of the French), then I highly recommend you read this.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Adrien C
    5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for every Frenchman and Englishman
    Reviewed in the United States on November 24, 2017
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    Being French myself I must say I loved this book which is rewriting the history we are being told in our French schools, in a absolute delightful and tongue-in-cheek way. I was shocked sometimes to realize that absolute French icons like our dearest croissants or baguettes are not that French to begin with and that some of our beloved heroes were really behaving like jerks most of the time. Actually I'm not that surprised as presenting facts to our best advantage is our most persistent French traits. And despite all the joking around and the little nabs to our French egos, the author never pretends to hide that he's a fervent francophile. I especially like the way he suggest in his introduction that one the main reason why we French and English hate (love) so much each other is because, despite what we might say in public, we find each other irresistibly sexy. This just set the tone for the whole book!
    29 people found this helpful
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  • Judith
    5.0 out of 5 stars Amusing and informative. A fun read.
    Reviewed in the United States on May 24, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    This book about the history of relations between Britain and France is really, really amusing. The author has that wry British humor that sneaks up on you. I'm guessing this book will be more amusing to Brit and American readers than to French readers. However, this is not just a humor book. I learned a lot, and had an amusing time learning. The book covers everything from William the Conqueror to the Channel Tunnel, and lots in between. I particularly enjoyed the parts about Napoleon, Mary Queen of Scots, "French" food, the French Revolution, champagne, the less than stellar way many French people conducted themselves during WWII, and the part about Charles De Gaulle. I do realize that this is one author's take on history, and other historians, particularly French historians might have different opinions. I will definitely read more books by this excellent author. I have downloaded samples of his fiction and non-fiction books. Highly recommend this book.
    11 people found this helpful
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  • PianoGuyFromSC
    3.0 out of 5 stars Far too long for a humorous history.
    Reviewed in the United States on December 13, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    It took me forever to finish this book, because it was just NOT funny enough to keep me turning the pages. Honestly, it took me about two years to finish it. I loaded it in my phone and would read bits and pieces while waiting in lines or traffic jams. I finally made one final long slog just to get it out of the way.

    I have read three of Clarke's earlier books and enjoyed them. I think his problem in writing this book was not being able to stop with the funny bits; he always feels compelled to give all the NON-funny bits of history as well. He should have learned from the two classics of this genre, "1066 And All That" and "It All Started With Columbus," both of which are in the 120-page zone. Clarke's book is almost 400 pages long, which is more than both earlier (and better) books put together, with a couple of Terry Deary's "Horrible Histories" thrown in.

    So yes, there are some good historical laughs about the relation of England and France, but they are few and far between. Clarke needs to be reminded that brevity is the soul of wit.
    12 people found this helpful
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  • Joseph O. Falkinham
    4.0 out of 5 stars Concise History of the French
    Reviewed in the United States on January 8, 2020
    Verified Purchase
    The author has a great deal of fun with analyzing the French through history and their interaction, in particular, with the English. Rather than reading a stuffy, boring book on French history, I can recommend this book. It is a relaxing, mostly funny, read through a good deal of French history. A great deal of information.
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Andy 1971
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
    Reviewed in Italy on April 10, 2013
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    This was my first Stephen Clarke's book and it is absolute fun. He writes with a nice and elegant style, never being rude but also striking some well-deserved blows to France, the French and their intolerable self-rightousness. I live in Italy, close to the French border, so I found this book refreshing - and ultimately true! It is a nice review of a thousand years of history, re-setting a lot of things straight and quietly demolishing everything that constitutes that annoying French myth that has been mostly invented by the French themselves. I read it and then bought another copy as a gift to a friend. If you think that all things French are nice, from champagne to croissants, or if they taught you in school that France won WWII (or any other War before that), buy this one and have a laugh. Sadly this one has not been translated in Italian, so I cannot use it for a bunch of nice gifts for next Xmas, since not all my friends can read a book in English, and that is a shame: everybody should read this one!
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  • Bernadette
    5.0 out of 5 stars Must read
    Reviewed in Australia on August 24, 2024
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    Got this for my 85 year old friend who was just diagnosed with dementia. He loves the book so much... No signs of dementia when he reads the stories
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  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Covers history in a very interesting and amusing way.
    Reviewed in Canada on December 30, 2021
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    Covers history in a very interesting and amusing way. A really easy and fun read. Very much enjoyed it.
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  • P. J. M. Beard
    5.0 out of 5 stars Informative and great fun to boot.
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 19, 2025
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    I enjoyed this book. It is well written and perfect for my 15 minute read at bedtime. It introduced me to a lot of interesting French history, especially with regard to their settlements in North America which emphasised the difference between our maritime nation and the French continental one.
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  • William Wakely
    5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant book
    Reviewed in Spain on December 23, 2023
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    Excellent book full of fun facts and extremely funny
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