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A. Lee Martinez
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Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest Kindle Edition

by A. Lee Martinez (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 365 ratings
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Witness the epic battle of the cyclops!

Visit the endangered dragon preserve! Please, no slaying.

Solve the mystery of The Mystery Cottage, if you dare!

Buy some knick knacks from The Fates! They might come in handy later.

On a road trip across an enchanted America, Helen and Troy will discover all this and more. If the curse placed upon them by an ancient god doesn't kill them or the pack of reluctant orc assassins don't catch up to them, Helen and Troy might reach the end their journey in one piece, where they might just end up destroying the world. Or at least a state or two.

A minotaur girl, an all-American boy, a three-legged dog, and a classic car are on the road to adventure, where every exit leads to adventure. Whether they like it or not.
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Previous page
  1. Print length
    369 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Sticky notes
    On Kindle Scribe
  4. Publisher
    Orbit
  5. Publication date
    July 16, 2013
  6. File size
    1561 KB
  7. Page Flip
    Enabled
  8. Word Wise
    Enabled
  9. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
  10. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"It's a guilty pleasure without guilt, and simply a blast to read."―The A.V. Club on The Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain

"Abundant, zany humor."―Publishers Weekly on Monster

"Divine Misfortune reads like a mash-up of Neil Gaiman, Monty Python, and a sugar-bombed nine-year old."―Locus

"Divine Misfortune is a light and wonderful read from start to finish."―sfsignal.com

"Sweetly charming, gleefully entertaining tale of two teens traveling across the country, one mythic encounter at a time... Martinez is a master at making the fantastic so mundane it's fantastic again."―Publishers Weekly

"Another winner with the zany adventures of a pair of intelligent, out-of-the-ordinary young adults in a world where humans and mythic creatures coexist. Martinez's full-blown comic talent places him in a category with Piers Anthony and Terry Pratchett as a master of comedic fantasy."―Library Journal

About the Author

A. Lee Martinez was born in El Paso, Texas. At the age of eighteen, for no apparent reason, he started writing novels. Thirteen short years (and a little over a dozen manuscripts) later, his first novel, Gil's All Fright Diner was published. Since then he has published or is about to publish five additional novels, including the forthcoming Divine Misfortune. His hobbies include juggling, games of all sorts, and astral projecting. Also, he likes to sing along with the radio when he's in the car by himself.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0092XNDR8
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Orbit (July 16, 2013)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ July 16, 2013
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 1561 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 369 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 365 ratings

About the author

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A. Lee Martinez

A. Lee Martinez

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A. Lee Martinez was born in El Paso, Texas. At the age of eighteen, for no apparent reason, he started writing novels. Thirteen short years (and a little over a dozen manuscripts) later, his first novel, Gil's All Fright Diner was published. Since then he has published or is about to publish five additional novels, including the forthcoming Divine Misfortune. His hobbies include juggling, games of all sorts, and astral projecting. Also, he likes to sing along with the radio when he's in the car by himself.

Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
4.4 out of 5
365 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

MonsterZeroNJ
5.0 out of 5 stars A fun fantasy fable that is a real blast of a read!
Reviewed in the United States on August 9, 2013
Verified Purchase
A. Lee Martinez's newest book is one of his breeziest and most fun to date. It's one of his lightest tales but, not without his trademark sarcastic humor and giggle inducing gruesome moments. Book is set in an alternate world were mythology and reality exist together and intermingle. It tells the story of Helen, a female minotaur and her workmate and the object of a crush, the well built and popular human boy Troy. When a rogue God, who manifests himself as a mound of hamburger, orders Helen and Troy on a quest, Helen finally gets a chance to spend time with Troy even though their forced search for some sacred objects may get them killed. If the cyclops or the dragons don't get them, the biker gang of rowdy Orcs just might. Add in a 3 legged dog named Achilles who may or may not be more then just canine and you have a hilariously fun fantasy read that is sure to entertain. Quest is simply a load of fun to read. From the character banter... and again Martinez provides us with some colorful and endearing characters... to the absurd fixes they get into, this is a light and really fun fable that is almost certain to put a smile on your face from the first page and keep it there till the last. I have read all of Martinez's books and this moves up near the top of favorites. I simply had a blast reading it. Martinez is a clever and imaginative writer with a knack for creating some very memorable fantasy and human characters. Why his work hasn't been adapted to film, especially Pixar style animation, is beyond me! Highly recommended!
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JohnGuad
4.0 out of 5 stars Paperback equivalent of popcorn and bubblegum ... pleasant way to pass time.
Reviewed in the United States on April 9, 2015
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It's a fun story in general ... I've read 3 of A.Lee Martinez's books now, and this one is probably the 2nd best of those three. It's a light-weight fictional world that is never the same from book to book (he's not developing any kind of persistent fantasy world, they're all different) and that's just fine as long as you aren't looking for the deeper more intensive world building. As a humor fantasy writer, some people (uh, me) might compare Mr Martinez to authors such as Terry Pratchett, but that's not necessarily an easy or fair comparison. Martinez has his own strengths and foibles, and while he doesn't have a persistent fantasy world a la Discworld, he has quite a good imagination ... constantly improvising and mixing fantasy and fiction tropes with humorous effect.

This story is about two kids (one human, the other a minotaur) who are randomly picked by a 'forgotten god' to go on a quest. Because the F.G. has essentially placed a geas on them, they must carry out the quest or they will die. The bad luck angle turns out that even if they complete the quest, they (or their loved ones/family/friends) may die anyways. The world in which all this takes place is effectively modern day America with the mild twist that fantasy creatures and magical events are actually rather commonplace along with classic automobiles, fast food franchises, and shady and possibly underhanded agents of secret governmental organizations.

Overall it was a pleasant and entertaining story, not very deep but with just enough character development to engender some empathy for the main characters. Action scenes tend towards slapstick, which I personally like in a humor fantasy story. The ending was done reasonably well (i.e., with some originality), as Martinez intentionally called out stereotypical tropes and explicitly pointed out that those weren't going to happen. I'd recommend this story (and probably any Martinez book) to anyone who likes easy fantasy with humor.
6 people found this helpful
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Chris
5.0 out of 5 stars Good book!
Reviewed in the United States on April 28, 2020
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I really liked this book. Great adventure story with humor and surprising depth. I will read again as it is the sort of book that gets better.
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Greg H
5.0 out of 5 stars Fun read
Reviewed in the United States on July 15, 2021
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Nice to have a book that is just a pleasure to read each night. Looking forward to another slice of this literary pie.
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Robert S. Keniston
4.0 out of 5 stars Another Fun and Unexpected Journey From A. Lee Martinez
Reviewed in the United States on December 18, 2020
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I have read most of Mr. Martinez's novels and enjoy them--- "The Automatic Detective" is my favorite, followed by "Chasing the Moon" and "Divine Misfortune ." Some have compared him to the likes of Terry Pratchett and Christopher Moore, and while I will understand the comparisons, and both are wonderful authors to be compared to, I would say Martinez has his own consistent voice, regardless of the varied worlds he occupies through his writing.
"Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest" has his typical breezy, fast-growing narrative that sometimes masks some deeply thoughtful ideas and poignant observations. Just as in "Divine Misfortune", there is plenty of fun here for mythology geeks like myself.
Like in most of his work, Martinez strives to make the supernatural part of a relatable every day existence, a source of much of the humor. Perhaps this is most effective with an orc army led by Nigel, who's need for mayhem is not so much due to his orc ancestry but more because he yearns to break out of the doldrums of middle-aged slumps in work and married life.
A solid good time.
Grade: B+
2 people found this helpful
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DAVID A LEVIN
3.0 out of 5 stars Not bad, but not great
Reviewed in the United States on August 22, 2013
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I always enjoy Mr Martinez' work, but this one was a little sappy. The battles and blood, the humor and great writing style are all there, but the relationship between the good looking boy and the minotaur girl was pushing it a smidge. Not that I have anything against minotaurs. Far from it, some of my best friends... well you get the gist. It's a fun ride as always, just not quite up there with his other work.
3 people found this helpful
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Ari Fore
5.0 out of 5 stars Martinez Never Fails
Reviewed in the United States on October 17, 2021
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Another great one. No two Martinez books are quite alike, not even the Constance Verity series, but they all have excellent humor and great pacing. Recommended to anyone who likes a fairly seamless blend of jokes, unorthodox action, and plots that you find very believable despite yourself.
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Stacey Casebolt
5.0 out of 5 stars Surprised to have loved this!!
Reviewed in the United States on July 23, 2022
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This isn't my normal genre - I usually read psychological fiction and heavier stuff, but I needed something different and picked this based on reviews. I totally loved it!!
One person found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Hazel McLachlan
5.0 out of 5 stars He hasn't written a bad book, fantastic!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 25, 2017
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Comical and witty! Fabulously written. Another fantasy comedy winner by A Lee Martinez who is by far my favourite writer ever...
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Customer #47
5.0 out of 5 stars An author who's about the fun in fantasy, not the "dark gritty reality of the human condition".
Reviewed in Canada on July 20, 2013
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Nice to see that A. Lee Martinez, along with John Scalzi, hasn't forgotten that adult fiction can be fun. That science fiction and fantasy don't have to be about "the grim darkness" and "there is forever an evil within men's hearts", as in other, long-winded authors of late. His books can be described as "quirky and humorous"; putting a smile on one's face with characters and worlds that are at once impossible, yet seem probable.
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DireMcCane
2.0 out of 5 stars Where is the feeling ?
Reviewed in Germany on December 6, 2014
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Why is this so boring? the business as usual attitude failed completly to amuse me. 2 very bored why - am - i - reading - this ? points
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MackenzieO'Brien
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Reviewed in Canada on February 14, 2018
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good stuff
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FallenGrace
4.0 out of 5 stars Amusing easy to read fantasy comedy.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 21, 2016
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Helen and Troy's epic Road Trip is A. Lee Martinez's tenth book though all are unique tales so can be read in any order you like. His books are very easy to read, he has a simple yet clear style of writing so it's a nice fit for either teenagers or adults. I have read nearly all of them at this point and he certainly has his own style. Much like his other novels this one is a bizarre mix of weird creatures and funny situations producing a very entertaining adventure if not a very deep one.

This particular adventure starts with a girl called Helen, she's a seven foot minotaur working in a burger store along with the Herculean exemplar and all round perfect human Troy. When their boss tries to sacrifice them to a lost God (who ends up possessing a pile of burger meat) they get cursed into completing a quest for him which will kill them if they don't do it, but might kill them if they do.

The book is set in a modern world where orcs, elves, trolls and other fantasy creatures have simply integrated into society. Martinez takes many of the tropes of myths and legends of questing heroes and plays with them in the modern day creating some quite funny and unique results.

I see another reviewer compare it with Pratchett and Gaiman and while I don't think it's anything near their caliber it's certainly a unique entertaining story I recommend giving a try to.

+ Genuinely funny in places.
+ Unique characters and setting.
+ Clean writing style makes it easy to read.
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