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Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect

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Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect Kindle Edition

by Jonice Webb (Author), With Christine Musello (Contributor) Format: Kindle Edition

4.6 4,829 ratings

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This informative guide helps you identify and heal from childhood emotional neglect so you can be more connected and emotionally present in your life.

Do you sometimes feel like you’re just going through the motions in life? Do you often act like you’re fine when you secretly feel lonely and disconnected? Perhaps you have a good life and yet somehow it’s not enough to make you happy. Or perhaps you drink too much, eat too much, or risk too much in an attempt to feel something good. If so, you are not alone—and you may be suffering from emotional neglect.

A practicing psychologist for more than twenty years, Jonice Webb has successfully treated numerous patients who come to her believing that something is missing inside them. While many self-help books deal with what happened to you as a child, in Running on Empty, Webb addresses the things that may not have happened for you. What goes unsaid—or what cannot be remembered—can have profound consequences that may be affecting you to this day.

Running on Empty will help you understand your experiences and give you clear strategies for healing. It also includes a special chapter for mental health professionals.

Editorial Reviews

From the Author

Writing Running on Empty has been one of the most profound experiences of my life. Recognizing, talking about and sharing the concept of Childhood Emotional Neglect has changed not just the way I treat my patients, but also the way I see the world. My goal is to bring this powerful, invisible force out of the darkness, into the light of day. I want us all to have the ability to see it and talk about it, and stop passing it down to one generation after another. I hope you will find Running on Empty readable, enjoyable, and validating, just as I intended it to be.

About the Author

Dr. Christine Musello is a clinical psychologist who's recognized for her expertise in adolescent and young adult issues, as well as in treating mood disorders and trauma, including her work with returning veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan. Dr. Musello is based in private practice in Groton, Massachusetts.

Karen White has been narrating audiobooks of all genres since 1999. Honored to be included in AudioFile's Best Voices, she's also a four-time Audie Finalist and has earned multiple AudioFile Earphones Awards and Library Journal starred reviews.

Jonice Webb has a PhD in clinical psychology, and has been licensed to practice since 1991. Webb has been the Director of three large outpatient clinics over the course of her career. She currently has a private psychotherapy practice in Lexington, MA, where she specializes in the treatment of couples and adolescents. Webb currently resides in the Boston area with her husband and two children.

Jonice Webb, PhD, is a licensed psychologist and the author of the groundbreaking bestseller Running on Empty: Overcome your Childhood Emotional Neglect. Dr. Webb has been interviewed by NPR and the Chicago Tribune and has been featured in Psychology Today and Elephant Journal. She writes the Childhood Emotional Neglect blog on psychcentral.com. Dr. Webb has an outpatient psychotherapy practice in Lexington, Massachusetts.

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B009VJ4B4C
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Morgan James Publishing (October 1, 2012)
Publication date ‏ : ‎ October 1, 2012
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 3743 KB
Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
Print length ‏ : ‎ 251 pages

Best Sellers Rank: #26,698 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #6 in Self-Help for Abuse
- #13 in Mate Seeking (Kindle Store)
- #21 in Interpersonal Relations (Kindle Store)

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4.6 4,829 ratings

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Jonice Webb

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Jonice Webb, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist, speaker, blogger, and best-selling author.

Dr. Webb wrote the first book ever written about Childhood Emotional Neglect and is recognized worldwide as the pioneer of Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN). She created the first and only online Childhood Emotional Neglect Recovery Program.

Dr. Webb has been interviewed about her topic on CBS Boston Evening News, NECN Morning News, and NPR. Her work has been cited by The Chicago Tribune, Psychology Today, Psychcentral.com, and The Elephant Journal. Dr. Webb writes a weekly blog on Psychology Today. She also provides professional training for licensed therapists in identifying and treating Childhood Emotional Neglect in their clients.

Dr. Webb offers weekend Childhood Emotional Neglect Recovery Retreats for therapists and laypeople. She has held them in Massachusetts, California, and North Carolina.

Dr. Webb runs a private practice in Boston, MA, where she specializes in treating Emotional Neglect in individuals, couples, and families.

BLOG: www.emotionalneglect.com

FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/JWebbPhd

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkB4-oY0XAqv8kzBlYov34w

TWITTER: @jwebbphd

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Jean W.

Good advice for people interested in change

Reviewed in the United States on March 12, 2024

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I had gone through an arduous round of therapy, so many issues have been resolved. But one issue remained and I was curious to see what this author had to say about it. I found her writing easy to read, and so I read the whole book in two evenings. It's not very big or thick, but there is a lot to ponder here especially if you have unresolved issues due to not receiving the kind of emotional support a child needs. The chapter I needed was life changing. I easily identified what my problem was with her descriptions, and started doing what she suggested to remedy the problem. While not perfectly "cured" of that problem, it was a relief to find it wasn't my fault, nor was I lazy. I just now have to keep on doing the work of change.

8 people found this helpful

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BryanML

Describes CEN perfectly, but lacks adequate cognitive discussion

Reviewed in the United States on November 24, 2017

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This book does an excellent job of describing the adversities, emotions, and common experiences of those who have experienced "childhood emotional neglect" (CEN) or "emotional deprivation."

By reading this book you will see what it's like to be someone who has experienced CEN. There is a lot of descriptions of people who have experienced this in their life whom the author has worked with to help them feel better. If you want to understand why you feel so bad about yourself or life, this book will describe the situations you encounter perfectly. If you have a really hard time explaining why you have low self-esteem, depression, feel like a failure, even if you had a good childhood, this will explain your circumstances perfectly.

Understand that CEN doesn't mean you were emotionally abused, or verbally berated as a child. It also doesn't mean your need for food, clothing, a warm home, 2 parents loving parents were not met. What CEN is about is people who didn't get the proper emotional guidance and understanding when they were children, therefore they grew up not quite understanding how to deal with their emotions and the adversities in life.

The author then explains what I would call a behavioral approach to changing your emotional difficulties. I would recommend buying the ebook and then the audiobook as an add-on. The paper or ebook will have a better description of the charts needed to track your behavior and eventually change it.

Finally I'd like to give a critique of how the book and perhaps the method itself leaves out a thorough discussion of what is known in Cognitive Behavior Therapy as "cognitive distortions" or simply negative thinking.

I myself, suffer from the symptoms of CEN such as low self-esteem, feelings of emptiness, self directed anger and self-blame, poor self-discipline, difficulty understanding and identifying my own emotions, and even suicidal thoughts. So this book really helped me to articulate many of the feelings and internal experiences that I was having in my adult life, despite being raised in a good family.

When I say the book lacks discussion of cognitive distortions, what I mean is that humans all have the ability to think (sometimes neurotically) about our own thinking. I believe many people with CEN may have experienced similar lack of emotional guidance experiences in their life, but that they also lack cognitive guidance and therefore obsess about why they feel bad, with such thoughts as, "I must not be normal because simple situations make me feel so inadequate. If other people have to deal with these feelings and they are ok, then I must be a totally rotten failure. I must be broken in some way and maybe nothing can fix me." We often tremendously blame ourselves for feelings that are actually quite normal given the circumstances. We think of the world as unfair, we put ourselves down as worthless, or think of others as worthless for not helping us or understanding us. We often can't stand the feelings so much that we desperately consider suicide as the only way out.

For anyone who reads this book, it will definitely help you identify and articulate some of the feelings and experiences you've had since childhood. But what I think has been very helpful for me in addition to this book, are some of the books by Albert Ellis using Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. What should be addressed in Dr. Webb's book is how to catch ourselves in distorted thinking patters where we demand that life treat us fair. You don't need more "tough love" from friends or therapists, not that Dr. Webb uses that kind of approach. But what I think all people, but particularly those who can identify with being CEN, should know is that the only thing we can control is our own attitudes and internal philosophy about life. It's important to address this part of your thinking if you have CEN.

In conclusion, I really do like this book, and recommend it as it will give you a better understanding of what symptoms you may have previously been unable to explain. Just remember to follow up with addressing your thoughts about those symptoms.

Also get the paper or kindle book to go with the audiobook.

846 people found this helpful

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nancy morrell

dive into why you flounder

Reviewed in the United States on March 3, 2024

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I found this book interesting as an adult child and as a parent.
The healthy give and take between parent and child might be shown on tv shows but lacking in real life. It is a subtle absence. If you didn’t learn about healthy helpful emotional interactions you might never really notice the absence. But it is important.

One person found this helpful

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chloe light

Very insightful and helpful to understand

Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2024

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Very good information and examples

One person found this helpful

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Teresa Donnelly

Book was in good condition

Reviewed in the United States on March 26, 2024

Book was like new

it was like the author knew my family

Reviewed in the United States on February 23, 2016

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I read this book 4 days ago and already its completely changed my life. I have been trying to figure out for decades now why, despite success in many areas of my life and seemingly solid family of origin, I have always had anxiety and trouble with relationships and connecting with other people. My kids seem to be inheriting this, and since my older child was diagnosed with depression and anxiety a few years ago, I've always had this suspicion that its at least partly my fault, or that something I was doing was causing this. I've had trouble connecting with my kids and being that loving family everyone else seems to have, but for the life of me i couldn't figure out how to fix it. I read tons of parenting books, all would help a bit, but none really got to the root of the issue. Finally I googled "am I causing child's anxiety" and it led me to an article referencing this book. I downloaded the book and immediately recognized myself and my family of origin in this book...wow. It was intense. But spot on. Page after page after page, it was like the author knew my family, watched my childhood, and now was predicting how I was repeating this pattern with my own kids. I wasn't giving my kids the emotional support they desperately needed because i had not received it myself and had no idea what I didn't know. But all is not lost, as the author provides guidance on fixing this. And it all makes so much sense. I read the book in one night and started implementing the tools right away, and the results were immediate and drastic. My tween daughter and I had a lengthy conversation about what's been going on in her life, and just by doing what the author suggests - identify, accept, attribute, act - she poured her heart out to me for 2 straight hours, at least twice saying "I've never told anybody this..." Wow. Just wow. The next day, I continued to do this. I thought it would be difficult, but its not, its easy, and very quickly started to come naturally. My younger child also started talking more openly to me. We're having great dinner conversation. The kids haven't been fighting, and when they do instead of yelling or getting mad at them for bickering, I'm approaching it from the perspective of IAAA, and the fights have fizzled immediately on their own! Its like magic. I am so thankful to the author. My only regret was not having read this 20 years ago!!!

890 people found this helpful

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Amazon Customer

Wasn’t sure the purpose at first

Reviewed in the United States on January 29, 2024

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Wasn’t sure the purpose at first my therapist told me to read it but then realized why. The person who should also read the book is the person doing the damage to you

5 people found this helpful

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Rafael Bianco

Bom mas poderia ser melhor

Reviewed in Brazil on November 13, 2022

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O livro contém várias informações úteis para quem é terapeuta e para leigos, senti falta de exercícios mais específicos e orientações científicas para cada caso. Não serve como guia terapêutico, apenas informacional.

One person found this helpful

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Dipak Kumar Das

Incredible 🤩

Reviewed in India on August 18, 2023

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I love love love reading it.

Nadine

Excellent livre

Reviewed in France on July 6, 2023

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Ce livre met des mots sur ce qu'on ne peut pas dire et ça fait un bien fou.

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ony

This book made so much sense, wish I had found it 20 years ago

Reviewed in Germany on May 5, 2022

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For an emotionally neglected person struggling to find place in this world this is a must read. It picked up on so many of my own problematic behaviors which I kinda knew were there but didn't pay attention to, gave me insight on them and simple tools how to try gently correct them. It also made me realize that what I thought had been going on with my parent(s), was wrong and they were in fact described in a whole another section to a T. Just being aware of that, how you neglect yourself cause you never learnt better and how things should have been instead, already has a tremendous effect on how you try to move forward from there. It makes me less guarded and more open to understand, myself and others. It also makes me very aware how emotional neglect shows up in other people close to me, how they shut down, get defensive and don't know how to express themselves properly. Lot of things in the book might be "common sense" to a healthy person, but some of us, who never had that sensible model from the get go, _need_ to hear and learn these like they were a child again; how to be a human.

Book is very easy read and has a good suggestion list of books on how to continue on your journey after this and depending your own situation - several which I already ordered.

5 people found this helpful

Amanda

Non-inclusive subjects

Reviewed in the Netherlands on January 28, 2022

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Disappointing how almost all the case examples are subjects who come from an affluent, privileged background or are currently highly educated and affluent. This does not help you relate to people who come from minority backgrounds or do not have high educations.

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