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Love, Ellen: A Mother/Daughter Journey Kindle Edition
"Mom, I'm gay." With three little words, gay children can change their parents' lives forever. Yet at the same times it's a chance for those parents to realize nothing, really, has changed at all; same kid, same life, same bond of enduring love.
Twenty years ago, during a walk on a Mississippi beach, Ellen DeGeneres spoke those simple, powerful words to her mother. That emotional moment eventually brought mother and daughter closer than ever, but not without a struggle. Coming from a republican family with conservative values, Betty needed time and education to understand her daughter's homosexuality -- but her ultimate acceptance would set the stage for a far more public coming out, one that would change history.
In Love, Ellen, Betty DeGeneres tells her story; the complicated path to acceptance and the deepening of her friendship with her daughter; the media's scrutiny of their family life; the painful and often inspiring stories she's heard on the road as the first non-gay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaigns National Coming Out Project.
With a mother's love, clear minded common sense, and hard won wisdom, Betty DeGeneres offers up her own very personal memoir to help parents understand their gay children, and to help sons and daughters who have been rejected by their families feel less alone.
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherIt Books
- Publication dateMay 28, 2013
- File size3.8 MB
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Editorial Reviews
Amazon.com Review
Now the spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign's National Coming Out Project, Betty DeGeneres travels the country explaining how she came to terms with her daughter's sexuality, and how love and acceptance can transform a family. Love, Ellen is an extension of her warm and much-admired public speaking, providing insight into her own life as well as Ellen's and arguing for further education, compassion, and the passage of antidiscrimination laws. --Regina Marler
From Publishers Weekly
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
About the Author
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
The Importance of Being Different
FIRST OF ALL, WHEN you think about it, we're all stuck here on this planet while it hurtles through space in its orbit. If you imagine yourself free of gravity and floating off in the distance, you get a whole different perspective on us. I imagine us all looking exactly the same -- like little ants, but full of self-importance. We're pretty good at dividing. And we're not bad at multiplying, either. (Sorry, I couldn't resist that. I am Ellen's mom, after all.)
How laughable we would seem from that far-off vantage point -- self-obsessed busy-bodies divided by turf and custom and color and you name it. We're divided by everything from what we eat to whom we worship as God and what name we call Him/Her. We're not just divided by our religious differences: we've gone to war because of them; we've actually killed in the name of God. I'm certain that's not what He/She intended when we were first created and put on this good earth to live and thrive together.
When it comes to embracing diversity, I tend to think of myself as a relatively "average," "regular" person, not endowed with traits that would make me any more accepting than you or your neighbors. There wasn't anything in my upbringing that caused me to be more tolerant than the next person. If anything shaped that inclination, it is the fact that I became a mother. But I'm certainly not supermom. Rather, I'm probably more of an Everymom, with the same dream that most parents have for their kids -- a live-and-let-live world where all the ants can celebrate individuality and diversity, yet still recognize each other as part of a larger family.
There's nothing new or radical about this image of ants. In fact, it's really just a spin on what is more commonly called the golden rule, something I was taught at the beginning of my education as Everygirl.
That part of my story starts in the depths of the Great Depression: on May 20, 1930, when I was born Betty Jane Pfeffer at home in a rented half of a double house on Dante Street in New Orleans, Louisiana. Despite the Depression and their own poverty, my parents -- my father, William Dick Pfeffer, of German descent; and my mother, Mildred Morrill Pfeffer, of Irish descent -- were happily anticipating my arrival and were planning for me to be the first of their three children to be born in a hospital. But I came too soon, and Mother gave birth at home, as she had with my sister Helen, seven years my senior, and my sister Audrey, five years my senior. So much for that plan. I've often wondered if it was my early entrance into the world that set the pattern of impulsiveness in my life, a pattern that has persisted to this day.
In any event, I am quite sure that being the third-born and the baby of the family shaped my early personality. Where Helen, the eldest, was serious, intelligent, and always thoughtful, and Audrey in the middle was fun-loving and vivacious, I was known as the "littlest," and -- with my thick golden curls and my apple-red cheeks -- I was spoiled rotten, and notorious for never taking no for an answer. I was tenacious. Still am. I consider tenacity one of my great strengths and one of my great weaknesses.
My earliest memories are from about the age of four. What I remember most about myself was how irrepressibly curious I was about everything. By now we were living in a slightly larger rental, not far from where I was born, a raised half of a double on Apricot Street. This house had a tiny backyard with a dirt plot maybe three feet by six feet. To this day, I can still see myself planting nasturtium seeds there and -- with time passing ever so slowly, as it does for the very young -- watching the green stalks inch from the ground, the flowers eventually bursting into bloom.
Some years later, being an impulsive and curious child, when I saw an ad on a bus for cotton seeds, I wrote down the address and sent for them.
A month later, as we were sitting down to dinner one night, Helen and Audrey began to laugh. Mother and Daddy asked them what was so funny.Audrey began, "Have you seen the backyard? She..."
"She? Who is she?" Mother said sternly. Mother thought it was extremely rude to refer to someone present as "she" or "her." Otherwise, Mother said, Audrey could have been referring to the cat or the cat's grandmother. We were taught to refer to company present by name.
Audrey continued, "Betty Jane is growing cotton in the backyard."
That was correct. When the seeds arrived I had planted them on my own, per instructions, and I soon had a small but nice cotton crop.
Mother and Daddy must have thought it a little unusual. But they acted proud. That's how they were whenever I tried new things. The lesson was simple -- it's OK to be curious. Over the years, this quality has endured and may be why I've always had quite a collection of hobbies and creative pursuits. And, even more relevant to the work I do now, being naturally curious has always made me open to meeting different kinds of people.
Copyright 1999 by Betty DeGeneres
Product details
- ASIN : B00CKOSRCM
- Publisher : It Books (May 28, 2013)
- Publication date : May 28, 2013
- Language : English
- File size : 3.8 MB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Print length : 402 pages
- Best Sellers Rank: #844,203 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #267 in Parent & Adult Child Relationships (Kindle Store)
- #535 in Biographies of Comedians
- #595 in Theatre Biographies
- Customer Reviews:
About the author
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Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find the book an enjoyable read with an interesting storyline. They appreciate the author's honest and open-minded perspective on family relationships. The genuine love between the family is described as heartwarming and touching. The writing quality is praised as well-written, articulate, and thought-provoking. Overall, customers describe the book as a nice, well-crafted story that holds their interest.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the book engaging and well-written. They say it's an excellent read from Ellen's mother's perspective, describing the love between a mother and her children. The book is described as a must-read for mothers and gay children.
"Very well written, insightful and entertaining. What a great mother! What a great daughter! What a great story!..." Read more
"It was a good book. I watch Ellen every day. I never realized what her mother and other families went thru to find out that their child is gay...." Read more
"An excellent book by Ellen's Mom describing the beautiful love that exists between a Mother and her two children...." Read more
"...I liked the book and it told how difficult it can be to be gay and live and work in a society that did not accept...." Read more
Customers enjoy the storyline. They find it a great autobiography about Betty's life and evolution. They appreciate her sharing her personal story and journey with Ellen. The book provides good information about the mother-daughter dynamic after Ellen tells her mother she is gay.
"Very well written, insightful and entertaining. What a great mother! What a great daughter! What a great story!..." Read more
"...Betty the mother of Ellen is one great lady and a wonderful example for the struggling parents...." Read more
"...how it helped to round out the picture of her mother as a very down-to-earth person...." Read more
"Earlier part of the book was insightful about the people; I enjoyed this part...." Read more
Customers enjoy the book's insights into Ellen's family life and relationships. They find it informative, inspiring, and thought-provoking. Readers appreciate the account of a mother's struggles and acceptance.
"Very well written, insightful and entertaining. What a great mother! What a great daughter! What a great story!..." Read more
"It was a moving story , It gave insight to what happens to a family when a child tells you he or she is gay...." Read more
"I found this book very interesting and educational...." Read more
"What a wonderful journey of enlightenment this book has taken me on. One of love, compassion and sharing...." Read more
Customers appreciate the genuine love and affection between the family members. They find the book touching and heartwarming, providing a clear picture and direction for spreading love and peace. Readers describe the book as honest, humorous, poignant, and thought-provoking.
"A very poignant tale of love and acceptance. Found this so heartwarming and admiration for the work Betty is doing...." Read more
"An excellent book by Ellen's Mom describing the beautiful love that exists between a Mother and her two children...." Read more
"...because of her mom's honesty about her initial reaction, was very touching...." Read more
"...family growing up and her adult family life was entertaining and heartwarming...." Read more
Customers find the writing quality good. They mention it's well-written, honest, and easy to read. The author is described as articulate and a good writer.
"Very well written, insightful and entertaining. What a great mother! What a great daughter! What a great story!..." Read more
"...The book drew me in right from the first page and kept going. Very well written and held my interest...." Read more
"...about having to adjust to her daughter's coming out as gay, in this easy-to-read, revealing memoir...." Read more
"...Betty, thank you for such a well written book." Read more
Customers find the story engaging and well-written. They say it's a nice story about a mother coming to terms with her daughter's condition. The book holds their interest from page one and keeps them hooked until the end.
"...What a great mother! What a great daughter! What a great story! I wish everyone would read this book...." Read more
"...Very well written and held my interest. It was amazinging how much the mother endured and her endless support to get to where they are now...." Read more
"It was a moving story , It gave insight to what happens to a family when a child tells you he or she is gay...." Read more
"...I doubt some moms will ever be as accepting as Betty but what a great story!" Read more
Customers appreciate the author's honesty and truthfulness. They find the book honest, even when it's painful to share. The book is described as a down-to-earth, easy read that reveals many secrets.
"I enjoyed the honesty and love that poured out of this book. I have had gay friends since college and have seen some of their struggles...." Read more
"Very well written. Honest, humorous, poignant, thought provoking. This book is the full meal deal...." Read more
"I love the honesty and openness of this book-Ellen is a great person and once you read her mothers book you understand where she inherited it from-..." Read more
"...'s coming out and her feelings as they evolved on this subject were honest and heartwarming...." Read more
Customers appreciate the book's message of acceptance and inclusion. They find the characters caring, kind, and generous. The book depicts a world with peace, love, and acceptance for everyone.
"A very poignant tale of love and acceptance. Found this so heartwarming and admiration for the work Betty is doing...." Read more
"...I have also known them as loving and caring people, fun to joke with and committed to their partners...." Read more
"...One of love, compassion and sharing. A look at “us” through the eyes of a remarkable woman. We should all learn from her. Peace, love and light" Read more
"...Ellen is a beautiful and tremendously gifted and generous person...." Read more
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on May 4, 2016Very well written, insightful and entertaining. What a great mother! What a great daughter! What a great story! I wish everyone would read this book. I think this book most definitely would help those parents who are dealing with a gay child or just help anyone understand better than they did what a person who happens to be gay has to contend with. Great human beings are simply great human beings regardless of sex and these two in my view are two of them. (I was raised in Christian Science too and I still love the precepts.)
- Reviewed in the United States on March 10, 2016It deserved five stars, but towards the end there was a lot of info.that slowed me down. The book drew me in right from the first page and kept going. Very well written and held my interest.
It was amazinging how much the mother endured and her endless support to get to where they are now. Life sure isn't easy as it is shown in this book. Betty the mother of Ellen is one great lady and a wonderful example for the struggling parents.
I would say a captivating book for me as I love true Stories.
- Reviewed in the United States on May 15, 2014It was a good book. I watch Ellen every day. I never realized what her mother and other families went thru to find out that
their child is gay. I think the book gives a rare look at how it effects the family. I also didn't realize that her mother was
so educated and that she does a lot of speeches about the subject.
- Reviewed in the United States on November 1, 2016A very poignant tale of love and acceptance. Found this so heartwarming and admiration for the work Betty is doing. As a proud Mom of a gay son, who is the most loving, kind and considerate person I know, it is so sad that so many people cannot continue to love their children once they come out. It is certainly their loss. Sexual preference is only a very small part of who we are. Love your children for who they are as a person. Don't turn your back on them as you will be missing out on wonderful experiences and memories that you can never recapture. Well done, BETTY DeGeneres. Love Ellen too!!!
- Reviewed in the United States on February 28, 2016An excellent book by Ellen's Mom describing the beautiful love that exists between a Mother and her two children. Betty is a human being to emulate as she is an example of us all how to be a true Christian in every sense of the word. She has, I have no doubt, influenced hundreds, if not thousands, of people as she has proceeded to advocate for the entire LGBT community. Her work with the Human Rights Campaign has been nothing short of heroic. The mere fact that she has helped so many youngsters (and their families) be able to accept them as they are is nothing short of doing God's work. I applaud her as a Mother and for wrestling against her own personal demons and coming out on top in the end!!
- Reviewed in the United States on March 19, 2015It was a moving story , It gave insight to what happens to a family when a child tells you he or she is gay. I hope that I would be as brave as Betty was in a time when it was not hardly accepted. I hope we have come a long way to accept and love others who society says we shouldn't. I liked the book and it told how difficult it can be to be gay and live and work in a society that did not accept. I hope we have come a long way in accepting people for who they are and treat them with love and respect.
- Reviewed in the United States on May 4, 2014I am so glad I got the chance to read this one! I'm a fan of Ellen, and I hadn't heard about how she first came out to anyone as a gay person. That revelation, especially because of her mom's honesty about her initial reaction, was very touching. The book takes us through her mom's journey from shock to becoming a national advocate for human equal rights. Some of the telling of the mom's personal life was just a tad of a distraction when I first read it, but in hindsight I can see how it helped to round out the picture of her mother as a very down-to-earth person. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is interested in Ellen DeGeneres or in human rights!
- Reviewed in the United States on February 28, 2016Earlier part of the book was insightful about the people; I enjoyed this part. Latter portion of the book turned into more of a listing of speaking engagements and was rather repetitive of the positive comments although each speaking engagement did offer nice specific examples. While, I wouldn't say that this is a poor way to present the movement against discrimination based on sexual preference, at least for me, I missed the character growth of Betty and Ellen. The people got lost in the descriptions of the elaborate room accommodations, foods, personal VIP treatment at each location. Plus, I'd have liked to learn more about Ellen's brother's journey and the show's employees struggles. So much praise was credited to Anne's role - and yet - knowing what we know now in 2016, makes the journey seem weaker. I know that at the time this book was completed, you could not know what would happen in the future, but in hindsight, it shows that focusing on any one person other than the main characters might come back to haunt the message. In this case, that happened - at least for me. But, I applaud Ellen and Betty for the roles they are playing in advancing the need to eliminate all forms of discrimination.
Top reviews from other countries
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Jake AntuánReviewed in Mexico on October 22, 2017
5.0 out of 5 stars Tienes que leerla
Que harías en tu posición de madre, de religiosa, con un conocimiento básico del mundo, una venda en los ojos y una educacion en la cual te enseñan que debes ocultar tus emociones a toda costa para pretender ser una familia perfecta. Cómo olvidar todo eso y salir adelante
- Anita SathiamReviewed in India on May 30, 2019
5.0 out of 5 stars Value for money
Wonderful
- DarleneReviewed in Canada on March 10, 2016
5.0 out of 5 stars The Degeneres closet was totally empty of all family secrets!
I really enjoyed this book. Betty DeGeneres is such a good mother and writes an amazing account of her daughter Ellen's struggle towards stardom despite all the obstacles thrown in her daughter's path to date. Betty's support of Ellen's career and gay lifestyle really touched my heart. I also admired Betty's overt hands-on approach by making speeches publicly for the normalization of gay rights all across the United States. Who wouldn't want such a loving, devoted and protective mother as Betty DeGeneres...kudo's for bravely writing this book for Ellen..well done!
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Morgane C.Reviewed in France on July 15, 2016
5.0 out of 5 stars Livre très utile, dommage qu'il ne soit pas traduit pour les non bilingues, livre à méditer.
J'ai acheté ce livre au format papier il y a quelques année puis racheté en version Kindle il y à 2 mois pour le relire (je n'avais pas le livre avec moi).
Je ne sais pas si ce livre peut intéresser et/ou aider beaucoup de monde en France caf il est en anglais et n'a jamais été traduit en français.
Mais je pense quand même que des personnes parlent anglais en France, la preuve, et que ça peut soit intéresser des personnes par curiosité, par intérêt soit en aider d'autres et tant mieux.
Aussi c'est pour cette raison que je vais vous "expliquer" l'idée de base de ce livre.
Betty DeGeneres est la maman de Ellen DeGeneres qui, à l'époque où se livre à été écrit était comédienne, actrice, pas connue de tous. Aujourd'hui aux moins États-Unis, mais dans le monde aussi, elle est connue de tous pour être la présentatrice du célèbre talk-show "The Ellen DeGeneres Show".
Donc Betty DeGeneres, après le coming-out de sa fille Ellen en 1997, est devenue la première porte-parole non LGBT pour "The Human Rights Campaign's National Coming Out Project".
Elle a choisi d'écrire se livre pour aider les personnes à faire leurs coming out, les aider s'ils l'avaient fait et avait été rejeté par leur famille.
Elle voulait aussi aider les parents qui, comme elle, apprennent plus ou moins brutalement que leur/leurs enfant(s) "ne sont pas qui ils pensaient". Les aider à se remettre du choc, à accepter et à continuer à vivre comme avant (puisque finalement, c'est toujours la même personne qui est en face de vous...)
Dans ce livre elle raconte sa naissance, son enfance, adolescence, l'amour, le mariage, les enfants puis Ellen. Jusqu'au jour où elle lui annonce qu'elle est gay et là elle nous explique, avec beaucoup d'honnêteté, le processus psychologique qu'à été le sien, ce qu'elle a fait, pensé et dit.
Pour ceux que ça intéresse, je vous laisse découvrir la suite.
Sachez que si vous avez du mal à faire votre coming out auprès de vos parents, ce livre peut grandement vous aider.
De la même façon, si un ou plusieurs de vos enfants, un frère, une sœur, un ou une ami(e), un cousin, une cousine, un proche où je ne sais qui d'autre vous a annoncé son homosexualité et que vous avez du mal à l'accepter, lisez se livre s'il vous plaît. Ne rejetez pas quelqu'un que vous aimez parce qu'il est différent de vous, parce qu'il est homosexuel.
Si vous comprenez l'anglais, lisez au moins se livre avant de prendre une décision attive que vous pourriez regretter trop tard.
PS: Je précise que dans le livre papiers une dizaine de pages de photos se trouvent au milieu du livre. Ces photo ne se trouvent pas sur la version Kindle (même sur Kindle en couleur comme le Fire).
- miriamReviewed in the United Kingdom on March 11, 2014
5.0 out of 5 stars a fascinating read
i was initially skeptical but once i started reading i was hooked, very interesting to hear it from the perspective of ellen's mum and how she coped with being thrust into the spotlight on the back of ellen's success. a very inspirational lady.