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Thomas G. Fiffer
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Why It Can't Work: Detaching from dysfunctional relationships to make room for true love Kindle Edition

by Thomas G. Fiffer (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.2 4.2 out of 5 stars 33 ratings
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Are you unhappy in your relationship? Do you and your partner constantly fight? Has the person who's supposed to be your source of comfort, support, and joy become someone you both love and despise? What you're going through is well beyond the normal relationship challenges most people experience, because you're stuck in a dysfunctional relationship. You may also feel you're the only one this is happening to, that everyone else fares better with their partners, that there’s something wrong with you, and worst of all that you deserve to be treated badly—because your partner has convinced, cajoled, bullied, and sometimes battered you into believing you're the cause.

Fortunately, you're not alone, and help is here from someone who has lived what you're living. Thomas G. Fiffer, Executive Editor for The Good Men Project whose articles have over 5 million page views, has written extensively about dysfunctional relationships and gathered his wisdom in "Why It Can't Work: Demystifying Your Dysfunctional Relationship." The author survived two marriages defined—and ultimately destroyed—by dysfunctional dynamics and has learned how to break the patterns that prevented him from being happy and forming healthy emotional and romantic attachments. "Why It Can't Work" shows you how to recognize the problem, identify the source, and take decisive action--either to right your relationship or abandon it. Through an ordered sequence of enlightening articles collectively shared over 300,000 times on Facebook, the author gently but assertively reveals the painful truths about dysfunctional relationships, reminding us that romantic partnerships are supposed to be a healthy source of love and support, and letting us know it’s OK to walk away when they aren't.

If you or someone you know is involved in a dysfunctional relationship, reading "Why It Can't Work" will light the way back to happiness and peace.
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  1. Print length
    136 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Sticky notes
    On Kindle Scribe
  4. Publication date
    April 24, 2015
  5. File size
    6514 KB
  6. Page Flip
    Enabled
  7. Word Wise
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  8. Enhanced typesetting
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Fiffer's book takes the conversation of dysfunctional relationships in a new direction. He identifies the actions and statements that each relationship participant does, says, or responds to and offers a comparison. The stories and examples not only identify the behaviors of the aggressor but also discuss the ways in which the receiver reacts, thus allowing readers to identify themselves in the role they play at home. The text gently invites the readers examine the self and determine best next steps for mental, emotional, and physical healing and safety." -- PsychCentral

About the Author

Thomas G. Fiffer, Senior Editor, Ethics, at The Good Men Project, is a graduate of Yale University and holds an M.A. in creative writing from the University of Illinois at Chicago. He is a professional writer, speaker, and storyteller with a focus on diagnosing and healing dysfunctional relationships. You can find him at Tom Aplomb and connect with him on Facebook and Twitter. He is also working on his first novel.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00WOYMCDS
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ April 24, 2015
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 6514 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 136 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.2 4.2 out of 5 stars 33 ratings

About the author

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Thomas G. Fiffer

Thomas G. Fiffer

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Thomas G. Fiffer, Founder of Christmas Lake Creative and Publisher at Christmas Lake Press, is a graduate of Yale University and holds an M.A. in creative writing from the University of Illinois at Chicago. He is a professional writer, editor, writing teacher, book coach, speaker, and storyteller. You can find him at Tom Aplomb and connect with him on Facebook and Twitter. He is also working on a memoir and his first novel.

Customer reviews

4.2 out of 5 stars
4.2 out of 5
33 global ratings
Best Self Help Relationship Book Ever...
5 Stars
Best Self Help Relationship Book Ever...
What an epic book. Probably the best self help/soul centering book I have ever read. I have spent countless hours screenshooting pages and having long discussions with so many of my closest friends on the context of this book. The overall consensus from my personal social network on what makes this book so special was the following:Thomas Fiffer has successfully put into coherent words, the myriad of mixed up emotions we all feel when we find ourselves embedded in a dysfunctional relationship. We all feel what we feel yet cannot express our feelings as clearly and concisely as Tom does here. And how empowering it was to be able to read your emotions captured so well by Mr. Fiffer. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is or knows someone that is going through a tough emotional time with an other human being.
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Top reviews from the United States

Jln
5.0 out of 5 stars Perfection
Reviewed in the United States on January 24, 2022
Verified Purchase
I just want to say, what do you know about cut to the quick lol. You have to be a cool person to know that phrase. I hope that makes someone laugh. We put so much work in and we feel like we go thru so much but I have to just laugh. I’m so glad that none of this has to matter and we can have a healthy fun relationship! I have made it to my place of healing and I’m very thankful for your book at this very moment. Thank you Thomas
One person found this helpful
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Mirinia DeFrisco
4.0 out of 5 stars easy read. I soon realized that it was much ...
Reviewed in the United States on May 3, 2015
Verified Purchase
When I first picked up this ebook, I thought this compilation of articles would be a quick, easy read. I soon realized that it was much more than that as I kept stopping to take stock of myself and contemplate deeply new directions for my life. Just a few sentences or a turn of phrase would ring through me and make me think “That is so true, but I never looked at it that way.” Tom Fiffer has a way of stripping down the dynamics of dysfunctional relationships with brilliant clarity. That’s really the gift I was looking for in reading this book-a little clarity about complex, confusing situations with people I love. I wanted to know if something admittedly wrong in my relationships was because there was something very wrong with me. I’ve always believed in the power of love and wondered that if I was giving every ounce of love I had to my relationships why they didn't seem able to work. Tom Fiffer breaks down the negative patterns for me in this book, and he does it with all the love in the world.

The man writes from the heart and from heartfelt experience. It takes an amazing person to own his relationship mistakes, learn from them, and then expose those mistakes for the benefit of others. Tom Fiffer writes as though each and every one of his readers was a dear friend needing the kind of advice that comes from honestly baring your soul to a friend and admitting “Hey, I know what you’re going through. I’ve made my mistakes, and this is what I’ve learned.” Then he generously sets it all before us in stories and checklists infused with wisdom, inspiration, and wit. And, let's face it, sometimes you have to laugh so you don't cry. Buy the book. But be sure to give yourself enough time to read it, because the river here runs deep.
4 people found this helpful
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Belinda O'Donnell
5.0 out of 5 stars Relationships and plain talk
Reviewed in the United States on August 13, 2021
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Excellent book with plain spoken words and concrete concepts. I’d recommend this for young people beginning relationships and for older people in relationships.
2 people found this helpful
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Nora Femenia
5.0 out of 5 stars Great writer, tackling relationship issues with emotional honesty
Reviewed in the United States on May 26, 2015
Verified Purchase
Thomas Fiffer is the discovery of this year. Deep and extraordinarily articulated, his writing is a joy to read. Is deep, sincere and completely emotional...very rare style for a male writer. I have both of his books on relationships, and love to recommend them to my friends in needs of some light in heart and love issues.
One person found this helpful
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Pat Witt
1.0 out of 5 stars Save your money !
Reviewed in the United States on February 12, 2018
Verified Purchase
I threw the book out !
I had hoped for more from a Yale grad having gone to U of I for grad school !
He is not a psychiatrist or a psychologist or a pysch counselor and after reading his writing I had a good sense of why his several marriages had failed
The writing flailed with his sense of self importance to such an extent that I could not even finish the small book that this book is !
One person found this helpful
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Jason Pockrandt
4.0 out of 5 stars Live the Life you desire today.
Reviewed in the United States on April 28, 2015
Thomas has such a way with words that you will be astonished by. He wraps words about marriage and life in an intricate way that will leave you left wondering about what, where and how your life is moving. If you are feeling "stuck" in a relationship that you are overwhelmed with and your not living your fullest life, read this book. There are so many tips and truths hidden in this text that will give you back your personal power and strength to live the life you desire today.
One person found this helpful
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Mommy2
5.0 out of 5 stars Best book ever!
Reviewed in the United States on January 2, 2016
Verified Purchase
I have been struggling with my dysfunctional relationship for the past few years and this book has made sense of so many issues. Every chapter had so many good points and now I'm coming to terms with the demise of my marriage. I'm going to read it over and over.
One person found this helpful
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Rick Gabrielly
5.0 out of 5 stars Love has a champion.
Reviewed in the United States on April 28, 2015
Verified Purchase
Filled with provocative topics to inspire and motivate us to have the tough but necessary conversations on one of our most important life issues. Tom's unique insights and experience are a gift to savor. If you are interested in today's dialogue about love, jump on this book. Well done Tom!
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