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Don't Jump: Sex, Drugs, Rock 'N Roll... And My Fucking Mother Kindle Edition

4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 115 ratings

Best of 2015: San Diego Book Review, Ilene Angel - The Huffington Post, Conversations

Don't Jump, chronicles a woman's quest to find her place and purpose amidst sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll and celebrity. It's a story of unfulfilled potential, addiction, and bad behavior. Ultimately, it's a story of redemption, told with levity and a wicked sense of fun.

Don't Jump takes us backstage and off-screen with a world famous athlete, rockers, movie stars, and some of the biggest names in comedy. A wickedly funny female perspective, it's an inside view from an outsider. From the kings of late night, to America's #1 shock jock, to the top sitcom earners of all time, we glimpse their humanity, previously unexposed.

Andi's story drives
Don't Jump her descent and her resurrection. The celebrities who populate her life add spice and flavor but, it's Andi's perceptions that fuel the narrative. Smart, sassy and sexy, she projects confidence and success. But beneath her cool exterior, she knows she's "simple, boring and fat."

Seeking solutions for her disintegrating marriage, tumultuous show biz ups and downs, her slow and painful recovery, and mid-life transition,
Don't Jump explores Andi's journey to make her life count.
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"I was immediately captivated from the first page to the last, not just by Abelson's painful self-awareness, but by her candor, humor, raw vulnerability, and unabashed willingness to fully own her own journey... Like a good cup of coffee and a conversation with an old friend, I never wanted this book to end. I savored it. I loved it. I had a good time reading it, and it spoke to me. How many times do you say that about a book? Right. Not many. Kudos to Vicki Abelson on a story well told and well worth the telling."
Ilene Angel,The Huffington Post

"
Don't Jump is smart, funny, profane, original, fascinating- everything you want a book to be. I felt like I was sitting on a stool at my favorite bar and this interesting chick sits down next to me and starts telling me her intriguing life story. I didn't want it to end and I give it my highest recommendation — READ THIS BOOK. If you liked Carrie Fisher's Postcards From the Edge, you'll love Don't Jump. (And by the way, HBO or Netflix should pick this up pronto — it is tailor-made for them.)”
BookChickDi

"The humour in this book is brilliant... "
RatherTooFondofBooks

"
Don't Jump is a delicious roman à clef ala Carrie Fisher, with the emotional honesty and deft writing of a modern Dorothy Parker. It has an intelligence without snobbery, a wit beyond crudity, a sensitivity without preachiness .. and is funny as all hell."
Hubert O'Hearn, San Francisco Book Review

"Vicki's writing is exquisite, worthy of a standing ovation... When the book wasn't in my hands, I was bored to tears with the things that normally lull me into slumber... This 12 Act dark comedy felt real to the point that it was a memoir written through the voice of an impeccable writer... Hi, my name is Annie. It has been 8 days since I have read
Don't Jump... And I will never be the same."
Book Banshee

"Told with true grit and splendor, you will not want to put this book down."
The Write Review

About the Author

Vicki Abelson is a writer, performer, producer and promoter, utilizing all that and more (mopping the floors), at her renowned celebrity-driven literary salon, Vicki Abelson's Women Who Write. A featured contributor to The Huffington Post, The Fix and Reimagine Magazine, she can currently be seen in Henry Jaglom's feature, The M Word. Vicki lives in Los Angeles with her awesome (she never uses that word, except about them) kids, Harry and Samantha.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B018Y2HHD8
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Random Content; Second Edition (December 3, 2015)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ December 3, 2015
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 1971 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 377 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 115 ratings

About the author

Follow authors to get new release updates, plus improved recommendations.
Vicki Abelson
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Vicki Abelson, the daughter of Borscht Belt Master of Ceremonies, Larry Katz, first appeared on stage at the age of four. An actress, comedian, rock promoter, publicist, manager, fundraiser and producer, Vicki thrice appeared on Saturday Night Live, co-starred with Robert Shimmel in a pilot for Comedy Central, and optioned a music reality show to Telepictures. Since 2008 she has been presenting the crème de la crème of the music and literary worlds in her Los Angeles living room at her celebrity-driven literary salon, Vicki Abelson's Women Who Write. A featured contributor to The Huffington Post, The Fix and Reimagine Magazine, she leads writers workshops and coaches privately in the real and cyber worlds. Vicki can currently be seen in Henry Jaglom's, "The M Word."

San Diego Book Review of Don'r Jump

http://www.sandiegobookreview.com/dont-jump/

Huffington Post Review of Don't Jump

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ilene-angel/dont-jump-the-review_b_8473014.html?utm_hp_ref=books&ir=Books

Listen to the "By the Book Reviews" podcast: http://bythebookreviews.blogspot.ie/2015/08/thoughts-comments-opinions-with-vicki.html

Vicki Abelson for The Huffington Post

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vicki-abelson/

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5
115 global ratings
I like the nightlife,baby...
5 Stars
I like the nightlife,baby...
Vicki Abelson's " Don't Jump " book takes you on a high octane ride through the 80's up until the early 2000's. I know- as a former talent agent and person who was in casting - I rode that same music and comedy scene from that era , back in the day in NYC. And yes, there's that mother issue that I so identify with. Andi Stone is clever, talented, narcissistic, witty ,good looking , insecure as a single women and as a mother and wife. She's also as lovable as she is annoying. When Andi as a single woman and as a married mom, are down - you feel tremendous empathy for them. When they pull themselves back up - you find yourself cheering them on. Truly wanting them to succeed.The sex, drugs, rock n roll and comedy are so vividly described that you can't help but wanna sing along to Karma Chameleon on MTV while your toking it up and realize that you have to much hair product on. Don't Jump is a real page turner , and the thing is .. you find yourself really caring for Andi Stone . Her escapes and struggles are as humorous and outlandish as they are emotional ..and as a woman, very relatable. Again , and there's that mother issue. I honestly didn't want this book to end. I can't wait for the film version.. oh yeah, there HAS to be a film version and I know just the right actress who I think should be cast as Andi Stone. Buy this book.Now!! What a ride.
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on June 22, 2016
I couldn't put this book down. I often read at night to help me fall asleep--this book did the opposite. It should've worked--I like to read either fiction or memoir/biography so I can focus on someone else's story and not think about my own--which keeps me awake. I usually get lost in the details of someone else's life and drift off. The compelling voice of the narrator/central character, the colorful array of friends, lovers, family, colleagues, clowns and jokers surrounding her, the roller-coaster story, and unique, smart writing style of this book kept me saying "just one more page" which turned into "one more chapter" which turned into "it's 3 am and I have to get up in 3 hours!" I literally had to take the book off my night stand and put it aside until I had time to read during the day or I wouldn't have slept at all until I had finished it.

Abelson's heroine, Andi Stone, could accurately be described by many of the lyrics of Sara Bareilles' gorgeous ballad "She Used to Be Mine" from the musical "Waitress"--though Andi would probably never describe herself in these words--not enough snark; but underneath the snark and wit and snap and sass, this is how I saw Andi:

She's imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won't ask for help
She is messy, but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine

(I also first heard this song during the time I was reading the book so maybe the two got enmeshed in my head, but I really do think nearly all of the song's lyrics could describe this character even though the two stories are very different. Even the song's waitress references "these shoes and this apron, that place and its patrons have taken more than I gave them" apply as Andi works as a waitress during the early part of the book. It's also just a beautiful tune--if you haven't heard it, check it out)

And, more importantly, CHECK OUT THIS BOOK! Jump! Go ahead--you won't be disappointed. I found Andi and her story unique and interesting--very different from my own in circumstance, but very relatable in terms of feelings and emotions. I also want to point out that even though there are many beautiful, touching, emotional, sometimes sad moments in the book, I don't want the above lyrics to give the wrong impression; there are also just as many if not more moments of hilarity, excitement, happiness, and joy, all of which makes for a very entertaining, well-rounded, and especially honest and engaging story. I would love to see this book turned into a movie, a TV series, maybe even a musical? (how about music by Sara Bareilles AND Lin-Manuel Miranda?!)

My favorite books, movies, plays, (songs?) are ones in which the central character grows and changes during the story--and I am able to see the growth and relate to it, and root for it. This is definitely one of those. The girl at the beginning of this book is not the woman at the end. What Andi goes through changes her. She's still "imperfect, but she tries." She learns lessons, becomes more mature, more honest and vulnerable, more willing to accept life on life's terms....what we all want.
4 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on November 19, 2015
What can I add to the well deserved praises of this author? Well to be honest, Andi is one cool chick.
From the latch key child of divorce, desperately missing her father, feeling distant from the mother that she lived with; to the wife and mother that she would later become, we are taken on a wild adventure and intimate look at the life of Andi Stone.
With marijuana always in the background for that added boost, Andi had confidently become a popular waitress at the hippest, star studded cafe/bar, a stand up comic with a no fail closer, and then a major promoter of clubs and bands; allowing this reader to learn how a club becomes hot and then not.
She shares the real and raw emotions of her complicated love relationships and as the biological clock is ticking, finally marries the love of her life and settles into motherhood.
The highs, lows and insecurities of a showbiz career for a guy with a wife and kids to support would be enough to drive any man to a toke and a tequila. The fictitious showbiz names to protect the innocent (or guilty) keep one guessing and finally figuring much of it out.
I admire the author for having the guts to share and admit to her trials and tribulations so openly. She's a successful, ballsy, beautiful, yet insecure and very sensitive woman; often so hard on herself for not achieving what she feels is perfection. And oh, she is funny; very funny! Ya gotta love her!
This reader enjoyed the ride and hopes for it to be continued! A wonderful piece of work, "Awfi". May I have your autograph?
4 people found this helpful
Report
Reviewed in the United States on December 5, 2016
Vicki Abelson's " Don't Jump " book takes you on a high octane ride through the 80's up until the early 2000's. I know- as a former talent agent and person who was in casting - I rode that same music and comedy scene from that era , back in the day in NYC. And yes, there's that mother issue that I so identify with. Andi Stone is clever, talented, narcissistic, witty ,good looking , insecure as a single women and as a mother and wife. She's also as lovable as she is annoying. When Andi as a single woman and as a married mom, are down - you feel tremendous empathy for them. When they pull themselves back up - you find yourself cheering them on. Truly wanting them to succeed.The sex, drugs, rock n roll and comedy are so vividly described that you can't help but wanna sing along to Karma Chameleon on MTV while your toking it up and realize that you have to much hair product on. Don't Jump is a real page turner , and the thing is .. you find yourself really caring for Andi Stone . Her escapes and struggles are as humorous and outlandish as they are emotional ..and as a woman, very relatable. Again , and there's that mother issue. I honestly didn't want this book to end. I can't wait for the film version.. oh yeah, there HAS to be a film version and I know just the right actress who I think should be cast as Andi Stone. Buy this book.Now!! What a ride.
Customer image
5.0 out of 5 stars I like the nightlife,baby...
Reviewed in the United States on December 5, 2016
Vicki Abelson's " Don't Jump " book takes you on a high octane ride through the 80's up until the early 2000's. I know- as a former talent agent and person who was in casting - I rode that same music and comedy scene from that era , back in the day in NYC. And yes, there's that mother issue that I so identify with. Andi Stone is clever, talented, narcissistic, witty ,good looking , insecure as a single women and as a mother and wife. She's also as lovable as she is annoying. When Andi as a single woman and as a married mom, are down - you feel tremendous empathy for them. When they pull themselves back up - you find yourself cheering them on. Truly wanting them to succeed.The sex, drugs, rock n roll and comedy are so vividly described that you can't help but wanna sing along to Karma Chameleon on MTV while your toking it up and realize that you have to much hair product on. Don't Jump is a real page turner , and the thing is .. you find yourself really caring for Andi Stone . Her escapes and struggles are as humorous and outlandish as they are emotional ..and as a woman, very relatable. Again , and there's that mother issue. I honestly didn't want this book to end. I can't wait for the film version.. oh yeah, there HAS to be a film version and I know just the right actress who I think should be cast as Andi Stone. Buy this book.Now!! What a ride.
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6 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Melody
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic Book. Great Read. Wonderful Author - Vicki Abelson
Reviewed in Canada on September 4, 2017
A delightful book. Honest, cutting, great comedy and personal insights that touch the heart and mind. Well done, Vicki Abelson!
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