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Jane Washington
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I Am Grey Kindle Edition

by Jane Washington (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.6 out of 5 stars 1,204 ratings

“Me and you. It’ll never happen. Not today, not tomorrow, not five years from now. Not when some idiot breaks your heart, or when you realise what your little sundresses do to everyone.”

Some people exist in the blessed light of day, but I'm not one of those people. I exist in the bleak grey of a post-twilight world, where the warmth is sucked from the air and the weightless shadows come out to play. I wasn’t always like this, but a year ago something terrible happened, and now I have a darkness inside me.

A demon.

It shadows my steps, growing closer every day, its grip around my neck tightening.

Maybe the demon is him.

Nicholai Fell.

He exists in the horrible darkness of a moonless night. Quiet. Full of mystery. Completely unreachable. He might be in the profession of saving people, but it isn’t going to work this time. Not even when he breaks his own rules, or when he chases me, or when he threatens to break me.

Because maybe …

Just maybe ...

My demon is me.


I am Grey is a full, standalone, contemporary romance with a guaranteed happily ever after!

This book is dark, traumatic, gritty, toxic, and cathartic, and it doesn’t pretend to walk the grey line.

If you have issues with high school student/teacher relationships (no characters are underage), forbidden relationships, or morally grey/occasionally psychotic characters, this book is not for you.

For a detailed list of triggers, please visit my website or refer to the first few pages of the book.

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  1. Print length
    486 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    July 31, 2018
  4. File size
    2.0 MB
  5. Page Flip
    Enabled
  6. Word Wise
    Enabled
  7. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
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Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B07DFHQGRT
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ July 31, 2018
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 2.0 MB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 486 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 out of 5 stars 1,204 ratings

About the author

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Jane Washington

Jane Washington

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Jane Washington is a Wall Street Journal and internationally bestselling author of sweet and spicy romance novels. She lives in Australia with a miniature dachshund, a collection of treasured books, and 1,000,000 hungry mosquitoes.

Find her here: https://linktr.ee/janewashingtonbooks

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
1,204 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book emotionally engaging, with one review describing it as a perfect portrayal of grief. Moreover, they appreciate the well-crafted characters that grip readers by the heartstrings, and one customer notes the author's mastery in writing about psychological problems. Additionally, the book receives positive feedback for its beautiful prose and satisfying storyline, with customers particularly praising the ending. However, the dark tone receives mixed reactions, with some customers loving it while others find it too intense.

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48 customers mention "Emotional content"41 positive7 negative

Customers find the book emotionally engaging, with stories that make them feel many emotions and hold their hearts captive. One customer describes it as a perfect portrayal of grief.

"...I loved the character evolution and message of hope. I will read everything you ever write. always." Read more

"...Jane’s way of portraying mental illness, and the emotional connection between the two main character. The details, made it come to life...." Read more

"I love the fact that in this book, the metaphors were witty without being overdone...." Read more

"...enjoyed the MFC and ger struggle with finding stability, emotional vulnerability, and a family to call her own." Read more

41 customers mention "Value for money"41 positive0 negative

Customers find the book to be worth their money, with some considering it their favorite book of the year.

"...Not this time! Instead you get the best read of the genre I've encountered (hence the five star rating)...." Read more

"I Am Grey is brilliant. Jane Washington is a beautiful, brilliant, notable author...." Read more

"...Jane Washington, really did her thing in this book, one of the best standalone books, I have read in a very long time, I hope she does more standalone" Read more

"But a rewarding one!..." Read more

25 customers mention "Storyline"21 positive4 negative

Customers enjoy the storyline of the book, particularly praising the satisfying ending, with one customer noting how it grabs readers from the first page.

"Such a beautiful story. I wanted to highlight an idea from every page. I loved the character evolution and message of hope...." Read more

"...A tapestry of humanity, each flawed and so very perfect. Each moment is captured and portrayed to perfection, some heartbreaking, some ugly, some..." Read more

"...As always, Ms. Washington delivers on a strong storyline and well crafted characters." Read more

"...that you know the darkness of this story let me tell you how fantastic the story is. Mika and Nicholai are both plagued with demons of their past...." Read more

18 customers mention "Character development"16 positive2 negative

Customers praise the well-crafted characters in the book, noting how they gripped them by the heartstrings, with one customer highlighting the author's unique voice and another appreciating the portrayal of mental illness.

"...I wanted to highlight an idea from every page. I loved the character evolution and message of hope. I will read everything you ever write. always." Read more

"Loved the emotion! Jane’s way of portraying mental illness, and the emotional connection between the two main character...." Read more

"...There is nothing on the market I can compare it to. Jane's voice is unique. Each character is so vital, so alive, so human...." Read more

"...As always, Ms. Washington delivers on a strong storyline and well crafted characters." Read more

17 customers mention "Beauty"17 positive0 negative

Customers find the book beautiful, with one review highlighting its brilliant portrayal of despair and another noting its exquisite details.

"...This is a style of book I can enjoy but often leaves me with little respect for the heroine and sometimes I just walk away because I cannot take the..." Read more

"I Am Grey is brilliant. Jane Washington is a beautiful, brilliant, notable author...." Read more

"...Sloooooooow burn, nontraditional but very beautiful and actually happy love story. Thank you" Read more

"...It was beautiful and funny and emotional! Highly recommend!" Read more

15 customers mention "Writing quality"15 positive0 negative

Customers praise the writing quality of the book, with one noting the author's mastery in portraying psychological issues and another highlighting its relatability to readers.

"...This book is so beautifully written. There is nothing on the market I can compare it to. Jane's voice is unique...." Read more

"Amazing writing, what an emotional story told with exquisite details! The characters gripped me by the heartstrings and never let go!" Read more

"...A wonderfully written novel." Read more

"...This book is good for readers that like to get into the psyche of characters and really understand them from the inside out." Read more

8 customers mention "Strength"6 positive2 negative

Customers appreciate the book's strength, with one mentioning its gritty nature and another noting how it explores the struggle with finding stability.

"...I really enjoyed the MFC and ger struggle with finding stability, emotional vulnerability, and a family to call her own." Read more

"...story shows how people survive through life’s horrors and become stronger in the end. I can’t even put it into words how amazing this book is." Read more

"...Mika's fragmented soul, fragility, and humanity draw you in, Nic's dangerous devotion is addictive. I was destroyed. I was enthralled...." Read more

"I am Grey was a beautiful, gritty and uplifting story! Mika is so broken and numb to the world...." Read more

8 customers mention "Dark tone"5 positive3 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the dark tone of the book, with some loving it while others find it a little dark.

"Jane has enormous talent - she can handle some really dark topics but also be genuinely funny...." Read more

"...I didn’t like this at first.. too dark, too much of a foggy, dream-like quality. And I couldn’t predict it. I loved not being able to predict it...." Read more

"...I am Grey is my absolute favorite of Jane's. It's a dark and deep read, interwoven with the perfect balance of comedic relief...." Read more

"Loved this dark, emotional book! I fell in love with Mika and Nic...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars amazing! like always!!
    Reviewed in the United States on January 21, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    Such a beautiful story. I wanted to highlight an idea from every page. I loved the character evolution and message of hope. I will read everything you ever write. always.
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  • Jennifer
    5.0 out of 5 stars This is one roller coaster of a book
    Reviewed in the United States on August 1, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    It fits squarely into the Tijuan style of broken heroine, specifically the type that is self destructive with a potential taboo relationship thrown in. This is a style of book I can enjoy but often leaves me with little respect for the heroine and sometimes I just walk away because I cannot take the FMC anymore. Not this time! Instead you get the best read of the genre I've encountered (hence the five star rating). It is the book I would recommend to anyone who wants to dip their toe into the waters, but it is a specific sub-genre and full of potential triggers and may not be for everyone.

    Jane manages to present Mika Grey without crossing that unlikable and pathetic heroine line and instead drags you through all the emotions Grey is and isn't feeling as she deals with the fall out of the night that changed her life. The night when her parents died and she was found with the murder weapon and covered in blood that has her lose a year drugged in an institution. I think what I loved most about this book, is that Grey is aware of what she is doing to herself and that she is heading for self destruction and she isn't sure what to think of it. At times she is full speed ahead, and other times she realizes she still has a chance at life and wants to fight for it. What was also standout is we know some of what made her this way but key information is missing. It keeps you wondering just what exactly happened. When and how she faces that night and with who is the key to her healing.

    What complicates the whole situation is her opposite Nicholai Fell. He is supposed to be a professional psychologist who will help her but finds he cannot maintain the boundaries with her that he know the rules says he must. Partially because he knows he cannot reach her that way and partially because he cannot help but be drawn to Mika. He needs to save her as much as for himself as for her. What I like here is Nicholai is not sold as perfect. He very much has his own demons and that he could be lost just as much as Mika with the wrong choices on either of their parts. Their chemistry flies off the page while he tries to keep from crossing the one line that shouldn't be crossed

    But the decision of whether to be saved or not is very much Mika's and it isn't all about Nicholai. It is as much about the other relationship she forms in the book and which one she chooses to keep or discard and choosing to be her own person and find her way. You cannot help but triumph with her when she does it and earns her happy ending.
    24 people found this helpful
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  • Steven R. Harris
    4.0 out of 5 stars Amazing emotion
    Reviewed in the United States on December 12, 2023
    Verified Purchase
    Loved the emotion! Jane’s way of portraying mental illness, and the emotional connection between the two main character. The details, made it come to life. I am only giving a 4 because I wasn’t exactly thrilled, or my jaw dropped like with some of her other books. Still, a good book to cozy up with.
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  • Jennifer G
    5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant!
    Reviewed in the United States on July 31, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    I Am Grey is brilliant. Jane Washington is a beautiful, brilliant, notable author. This review could stop here because this is all you really need to know. But I need to gush, possibly in an embarrassing manner. You have been warned!

    Mika Gray has demons. She has faced a tragedy, spent a year paying for witnessing the tragedy, and is now allowed to rejoin the world. She is alone. Family, friends, the system have failed her, abandoned her, discarded her. Not that she admits it though. She's numb. She's grey. Until him. Nicholai Fell. He could be her savior, he could be her end. He wants to save her, needs to save her. He's willing to break his own rules to do so but in the end, she has to want to be saved and it's not even clear if he can save himself. Grey is deceiving. It appears dull, unassuming but the simple clarity of grey is everything.

    I refuse to give one story detail of this book. Read the blurb. What you need to understand is that it is a journey of pure emotion. It's raw. Gritty. Painful. Brutal. Disturbing. It's not the kind of book that you can be assured of the HEA. Not everyone walks away into a beautiful sunset. It could trigger you. This book will break you down. Then it will stomp on you. But you will fall in love, maybe dangerously so. Mika's fragmented soul, fragility, and humanity draw you in, Nic's dangerous devotion is addictive. I was destroyed. I was enthralled. I will be haunted for a long time to come.

    This book is so beautifully written. There is nothing on the market I can compare it to. Jane's voice is unique. Each character is so vital, so alive, so human. Mika's insights through her fog, Nic's internal struggles, Marcus's goodness, Jean's friendship, Duke's wickedness, Shel's callousness, and Spencer's steadfastness. A tapestry of humanity, each flawed and so very perfect. Each moment is captured and portrayed to perfection, some heartbreaking, some ugly, some touching, some stunning. These aren't just words on the page; they are common words that somehow have been crafted together to create a work of art. I feel like I have been handed an important gift with this story. I have loved Jane's writing since the first paragraph I read of her first book; enough that I sent her an email after I finished the book. I am a longstanding fan. I expect excellence and entertainment from her. This book exceeded any expectation I may have had. It proves Jane Washington is among the most talented writers of this time. I Am Grey earned a spot on my Best of 2018 list.
    24 people found this helpful
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  • Sydney chappell
    5.0 out of 5 stars this book is just wow 🤩
    Reviewed in the United States on July 19, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    I love the fact that in this book, the metaphors were witty without being overdone. I also love the fact that it was sort of a forbidden romance but at the same time age couldn’t put love in a box Jane Washington, really did her thing in this book, one of the best standalone books, I have read in a very long time, I hope she does more standalone
    One person found this helpful
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  • hadashorodi
    5.0 out of 5 stars An unconventional love story
    Reviewed in the United States on August 1, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    But a rewarding one!
    It felt more like poetry at times, and sometimes like a crazy game of seek and hide between two souls With a bunch of "will they wont they" in the mix that you weren't really sure if u actually wanted them to find eachother, because the journey was a reward on itself.
    Sloooooooow burn, nontraditional but very beautiful and actually happy love story.

    Thank you
    One person found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • kristina
    5.0 out of 5 stars wow
    Reviewed in Canada on December 11, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    This book was stunning. I could not put it down. It was so well written. The story was heart wrenching and believable, the characters so well thought out, it was beautiful and sad and hopeful and absolutely unforgettable. It’s a piece of art. Well done Jane Washington.
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  • Keely Tenille
    5.0 out of 5 stars My emotions are in a blender
    Reviewed in Australia on February 28, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    Seriously. SERIOUSLY! Why did I wait so long. To read this? This is an incredibly well crafted story that speaks to my past. I’ve been where Grey is and Jane’s beautiful handling of her emotional state of mind blew me away.

    This is a beautifully written and emotional journey that shows the inner strength and struggles to overcome severe obstacles in life. It was dark and angsty as hell. There were times I imagined my emotions taking up residence in my stomachs only to be ruthlessly churned up with an egg beater so I didn’t know what I was feeling.

    Thank you for such a beautiful and gut wrenching story. I am in awe of your skills as a writer.
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  • Bee
    5.0 out of 5 stars *****
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 8, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    What have I just read ... Honestly a bit speachless at the talent of this stunning author. I have no idea what possessed her to write or come up with this but I'm so grateful she decided to share it with us.

    Where to even start ? I don't usually read this kind of story in the sense it's a non paranormal/supernatural type of story with someone who has real life issues and not made up ones with real life horrible people sourounding her , well at first 😉.
    But having read this authors previous books and fantastical takes I decided to trust her to yet again sweep me away, and honestly I'm going to really try and do justice to just how good this book is here , bare with me. This book to me hand on heart is one of the best books I've ever seen written (coming from a complete and total book nerd is a statement and a half at least) it was so powerful , so raw and true and scarily relateable in some minor instances.
    I can definitely say that "I am grey" will have left its mark on me with how much of a beautiful, beautiful story it is, I honestly love (trying to find a more powerful word here lol) every single thing about this and how it made me feel, even down to the details, maybe especially, because it really is such a special story you won't see or experience very often, and not with such a talent behind it all.
    This may sound a bit ludicrous but I feel like this book was so strong that it somehow unknowingly changed my view on so many things now, made me want to be more appreciative, more empathetic, sympathetic, considerate, and so on ... Ah I'll cut it out now but honestly you won't ever regret buying this book , but be warned it's not for the faint hearted, it remains true to itself and the journey the characters have to take.

    Gonna go crawl into bed now, try and get over my book withdrawal (in the best possible way) and debate life lol ... wish me luck 💃.
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  • aria hanna
    5.0 out of 5 stars Don't question it. Just. Read. it.
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 17, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    I absolutely loved this book and devoured it trapped in a whirlwind of emotions. If you've ever had any form of ptsd, grief, or trauma, you can relate to at least parts of Mikas character. Nic has his own demons, and I think they find kinship in each other where they feel no one else understands them. Honorary mention to Satan because I feel like it's a lot easier to let down your walls with an animal than it is humans sometimes. I couldn't put this book down and was just going through the motions right alongside Mika. HOWEVER, spense broke my dam, and I was a sobbing mess wailing into the dark at 1am swiftly followed with laughing out loud through the tears (probably looking deranged) as his personality developed further, what a guy he has my whole heart.
    Safe to say I adored this book and I don't think I will ever forget it although I don't know what else I expected from a Jane book I should have known better.
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  • Liash
    5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliantly written!
    Reviewed in Australia on August 5, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    Wow! This book was amazing. Prepare to be drawn in and raked over the coals with the emotional rollercoaster of a journey it will take you on. I laughed, I cried, and I know my heart broke for what Mika was going through.

    Having lost her parents, she should have had family and friends to turn to. Instead they all abandon her when she needs them most, leaving her to struggle through the aftermath by herself. She is shut off from the world and makes bad decisions in an attempt to feel something - anything! And the one person who should be able to help her, her counsellor and psychologist, may just be the one to break her. Whether that is the break she needs to find herself is another question.

    The character development and depth is amazing - not only Mika and Nic, but the supporting characters as well. Jean, Marcus, Spencer and even to an extent Trip and Duke. They all play their part in bringing Mika back to the world of the living.

    I loved how it wrapped up and how we got ab epilogue set 4 years to give us that final resolution.

    Definitely a book I would recommend, but beware trigger warnings as it has some dark content.
    Report

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