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Lawrence M. Schoen
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Buffalito Destiny (the Amazing Conroy Book 5) Kindle Edition

by Lawrence M. Schoen (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 53 ratings
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Caught between an erupting volcano

And telepathic dreams of disaster...

He’s committed to the unimaginable — dedicating his company to doing good in the world.

Cleaning up Earth’s worst toxic waste site with omnivorous buffalitos seemed like a good plan, until ecoterrorists target the Amazing Conroy, stage-hypnotist-turned-CEO. Meanwhile, a tour bus of aliens is trying to convince him to embrace a mysterious purpose amidst ancient Mayan ruins.

Now the fate of the Earth hangs on a single decision.

Conroy will need all his hypnotic skills, the support of his best friend, and insight from his dead aunt, if he is to save himself, the buffalitos, and the planet.

And just maybe, along the way, he'll find his true destiny.

Follow the Amazing Conroy’s true fate to gourmet sandwiches, temporal impossibilities, and alien bliss. Buy now or read FREE on Kindle Unlimited.

The Amazing Conroy series is an interstellar adventure by a six-time Nebula Award-nominated author. Mind control, manipulation, and mayhem abound in a story that will keep you brilliantly entertained.

Previous page
  1. Book 5 of 7
    the Amazing Conroy
  2. Print length
    346 pages
  3. Language
    English
  4. Sticky notes
    On Kindle Scribe
  5. Publication date
    September 25, 2019
  6. File size
    1106 KB
  7. Page Flip
    Enabled
  8. Word Wise
    Enabled
  9. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
  10. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

80981924REVIEW:Schoen makes the leap from short fiction to novel-length adventure with this eclectic, oddball tale of a man swept up by destiny, aliens, and circumstance. The Amazing Conroy is a stage hypnotist who has parlayed an alien buffalo dog, a creature that eats anything and farts oxygen, into a powerful corporation worth billions. An ambitious plan to use these buffalitos to clean up toxic waste sites places him in direct conflict with a radical anti-alien ecoterrorist organization, and before long, Conroy is on the run with only his pet buffalito, Reggie, and his gambler pal, Left-John Mocker, to aid him. As bizarre dreams guide him inexorably towards a mysterious destiny, Conroy deals with prophetic aliens, ancient Mayan ruins, exquisite sandwiches and the temporally-unstable state of Texas. Part crisis-filled road trip, part gonzo race against time and all tongue-in-cheek humor and charm, this nutty tale may sound strange, but Schoen somehow makes it all come together.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B07YF37F5G
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Paper Golem LLC (September 25, 2019)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ September 25, 2019
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 1106 KB
  • Simultaneous device usage ‏ : ‎ Unlimited
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 346 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 53 ratings

About the author

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Lawrence M. Schoen

Lawrence M. Schoen

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Lawrence M. Schoen holds a Ph.D. in cognitive psychology, is a past Astounding, Hugo, and Nebula, nominee, twice won the Cóyotl award for best novel, founded the Klingon Language Institute, occasionally does work as a hypnotherapist specializing in authors’ issues, and is a. cancer survivor.

His science fiction includes many light and humorous adventures of a space-faring stage hypnotist and his alien animal companion. Other works take a very different tone, exploring aspects of determinism and free will, generally redefining the continua between life and death. Sometimes he blurs the funny and the serious. Lawrence lives near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania with his wife and their dog.

Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
4.4 out of 5
53 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

illegiblescribble
5.0 out of 5 stars Fast-paced, with lots of twists and turns.
Reviewed in the United States on April 8, 2014
Verified Purchase
I have to admit that when I first heard the premise of this series - an interstellar performing hypnotist and his alien animal companion, which looks like a miniature buffalo, can eat literally anything, and excretes oxygen instead of poo - I sighed, rolled my eyes, and said "You've got to be frickin' kidding me".

Then I read one of the stories. And I was blown away by how good it was.

This is not your typical science-fiction series. The author is an expert in cognitive psychology and psycholinguistics as well as an accomplished hypnotist. All of the stories in the series contain highly interesting, diverse alien species, each with their own unique physiology, culture, and psychology - as well as a healthy dose of sly humor.

This novel continues the Adventures of the Amazing Conroy, which started in the anthology  Buffalito Buffet . (If you haven't read that anthology already, I highly recommend it as an appetizer before digging into this one.)

Having created a multi-billion dollar empire from leasing highly-versatile utility buffalitos, Conroy decides to do a good turn for Mother Earth by volunteering his herd's services in cleaning up the world's worst toxic dump site. But there are hostile, opposing forces at work: a major xenophobic eco-terrorist organization is out to stop his good deed any way they can - up to and including murdering Conroy, Reggie, and anyone else who gets in their way. It's up to Conroy and his unique abilities with psychology to save himself, the buffalitos, and the planet.

As in the short stories, the novel is made even more enjoyable with numerous descriptions of fabulous, mouth-watering gourmet dishes.

I also recommend following-up this tasty main dish with  Buffalito Contingency  for dessert.
2 people found this helpful
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A. J. McKee
4.0 out of 5 stars Cute, imaginitive, I kinda want one
Reviewed in the United States on February 7, 2013
Verified Purchase
Recommended by Schlock Mercenary writer/artist Tayler, and I respect his judgement. This was a fun read, and made you think.
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R. Hole
5.0 out of 5 stars Lots of fun
Reviewed in the United States on April 26, 2020
Verified Purchase
In the tradition of Robert Asprin and Spider Robinson, this lightly humorous science fiction book is great fun. There’s adventure, good food, preposterous coincidences that make perfect sense, and buffalitos. What more do you need? It does help if you’ve read the previous books, but it’s certainly not necessary.
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MorwensCat
5.0 out of 5 stars Good SF Comedy!
Reviewed in the United States on October 7, 2012
Verified Purchase
This is book one in a series that so far has two novels and a collection of short stories. Lawrence Schoen creates a cast of diverse characters, each with their own issues, peculiarities, and agendas. With consummate skill he weaves them together into a rollicking tale that finishes with all loose ends tied up and all characters accounted for. In the process the reader enjoys a humorous science fiction adventure on par with Robert Asprin's Phule's Company books. And the books only get better!
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luke
5.0 out of 5 stars A fine read
Reviewed in the United States on September 16, 2015
Verified Purchase
An escape from the reality that drains our energy on a daily basis. An engaging and yet light fare that allows for time to take care of the mundane tasks as well. Good for all interests.
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Joe
5.0 out of 5 stars excellent plot twists; great characters
Reviewed in the United States on July 27, 2014
Verified Purchase
Very well written. The action was paced well, for the most part, and the characters well developed and entertaining. Mr. Schoen has a gift for storytelling!
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Julie D.
4.0 out of 5 stars Zany charm and a fun story
Reviewed in the United States on August 15, 2011
We meet The Amazing Conroy at the beginning of his career as a stage hypnotist. He's been stranded on an alien planet after making a delivery as a courier. This situation in and of itself begins to let the reader know about author Lawrence M. Schoen's talent in combining the mundane with the unexpected. Certainly, I'd never have imagined earning my way around the universe as a stage hypnotist.

The book proper is set in Conroy's present where he has smuggled an alien life form to Earth. Rarely has an alien been more adorable than the Buffalito Dog, Reggie. He is Conroy's personal pet and the leader of the rest of the Buffalito pack which forms the foundation of Conroy's corporation. Conroy has become incredibly wealthy by renting the services of his Buffalitos which literally eat anything and fart oxygen.

At the time we join the story, the Mexican president wants a demonstration of Conroy's services to convince his government to clean up toxic waste sites. However, this plan is put in jeopardy by an anti-alien, eco-terrorist group with no qualms about using extreme force to achieve their goal of banning aliens and their technology from the earth. To make matters worse, Conroy has been having mysterious dreams which he must decipher in order to fulfill his destiny of keeping the Earth from being destroyed.

These are only a few of the features of this entertaining novel which include the joys of Mexican sandwiches, a huge region of temporal instability in Texas, and a bus tour of Mayan ruins that includes one of the most creative alien races I've ever read about.

There is a zany charm about this novel which makes any threats seem less serious, although I was extremely curious about how Conroy was going to fulfill his destiny. The oddest but imaginative elements come together in the most ordinary of ways and somehow all hang together pretty well to form a story that kept me interested.

It helps that I simply love William Coon's narration although he does occasionally struggle with an accent (the Texan drawl was bravely attempted but not quite right). However, that is the only one that didn't ring quite true for me. His reading is half the charm of Conroy's character. This is the first time I've heard him use different voices for different characters and I feel sure that I wouldn't be able to read the actual book without hearing Coon's narration reading along in my mind's ear.

The story is not always imaginatively plotted, perhaps because so much else was going on that the author could only juggle so many balls in the air. I was able to peg the main eco-terrorist quite early in the story and hoped against hope (as it turns out) that the author would be able to sacrifice a character necessary to the story's integrity. However, there were other surprises that I didn't expect so it isn't as if the entire plot was obvious.

Buffalito Destiny is a great deal of fun even with a few plot glitches.

(This review was originally written for [...].)
3 people found this helpful
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Darth Breather
4.0 out of 5 stars Action adventure with fun and weird stuff
Reviewed in the United States on October 5, 2013
Buffalitos are small alien beasts that look like buffaloes and behave like dogs. (However - though the buffalitos are clearly described as looking like little buffaloes, I kept picturing them as pugs.)

This is a great sci-fi romp.The escalating adventures layer on the weirdness and imagination, and I'd read the book just for the ideas it plays with. But it's got more: Conroy's an engaging and likeable character; His little buffalito Reggie is charming; the supporting cast is interesting, including an executive with Dissociative Identity disorder, and multiple talented entities. There's a light-hearted tone that makes this book a fun read, start to finish.
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Top reviews from other countries

Amazon_Buyer
3.0 out of 5 stars Why no security detail?
Reviewed in Canada on December 30, 2019
Verified Purchase
Ok, the author spends gobs of space talking about his own motivation for the stories, causing us to be pulled out of the fantasy of the story as if anyone cares. We got the book for the escape not to read about anyone's reason or motivation for writing them.

Also given Conroy is so rich, has so many enemies, gets into so much trouble and can hardly defend himself why does this character not have security detail with him at all times?

That oversight by the author should be added to all those wasted pages about why he wrote what.
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