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The Passion Paradox: A Guide to Going All In, Finding Success, and Discovering the Benefits of an Unbalanced Life Kindle Edition
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"I feel like this book was written for me. I had to resist underlining every sentence."- Shalane Flanagan. New York City Marathon Champion, Four-Time Olympian, and New York Times bestselling author.
The coauthors of the bestselling Peak Performance dive into the fascinating science behind passion, showing how it can lead to a rich and meaningful life while also illuminating the ways in which it is a double-edged sword. Here's how to cultivate a passion that will take you to great heights--while minimizing the risk of an equally great fall.
Common advice is to find and follow your passion. A life of passion is a good life, or so we are told. But it's not that simple. Rarely is passion something that you just stumble upon, and the same drive that fuels breakthroughs--whether they're athletic, scientific, entrepreneurial, or artistic--can be every bit as destructive as it is productive. Yes, passion can be a wonderful gift, but only if you know how to channel it. If you're not careful, passion can become an awful curse, leading to endless seeking, suffering, and burnout.
Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness once again team up, this time to demystify passion, showing readers how they can find and cultivate their passion, sustainably harness its power, and avoid its dangers. They ultimately argue that passion and balance--that other virtue touted by our culture--are incompatible, and that to find your passion, you must lose balance. And that's not always a bad thing. They show readers how to develop the right kind of passion, the kind that lets you achieve great things without ruining your life. Swift, compact, and powerful, this thought-provoking book combines captivating stories of extraordinarily passionate individuals with the latest science on the biological and psychological factors that give rise to--and every bit as important, sustain--passion.
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherRodale Books
- Publication dateMarch 19, 2019
- File size1819 KB
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Editorial Reviews
Review
"A valuable volume about finding and embracing passion, avoiding burnout, and carefully navigating an unbalanced life." —Publisher's Weekly
"Passion. The topic is sparking conversations at work, at school, and at home. Should we throw everything to the winds and follow our passion? Or should we strive for balance and let our passions cool? In THE PASSION PARADOX, Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness offer the surprising, nuanced, and research-backed answer. This super-smart, must-read book will teach you how to find and fuel your passion without burning up or burning out." —Daniel H. Pink, New York Times bestselling author of When and Drive
“Passion is a roller coaster ride that can send us on a sudden, precipitating plunge from the heights of happiness to the depths of despair. This thoughtful, immediately readable book shows how to manage passion so it brings out the best in us rather than the worst in us.“ —Adam Grant, New York Times bestselling author of Give and Take, Originals, and Option B with Sheryl Sandberg
“I feel like this book was written for me. I had to resist underlining every sentence in the book.” —Shalane Flanagan, New York City Marathon Champion, Four-Time Olympian, and New York Times bestselling author
"The Passion Paradox brings together multiple angles to peer over the edge at something difficult to grasp but incredibly important to people."—David Epstein. New York Times bestselling author of The Sports Gene and Range
About the Author
STEVE MAGNESS is a coach to some of the top distance runners in the world, having coached numerous athletes to Olympic trials, world championship teams, and the Olympics. Known widely for his integration of science and practice, Steve has been on the forefront of innovation in sport. He has been a featured expert in Runner's World, the New York Times, the New Yorker, BBC, the Wall Street Journal, and ESPN The Magazine. His first book, The Science of Running, was published in 2014. He lives in Houston, Texas. Follow him on Twitter @SteveMagness.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
1
Passion Must Be Handled with Care
“Nothing is as important as passion. No matter what you want to do with your life, be passionate. The world doesn’t need any more gray. On the other hand, we can’t get enough color. Mediocrity is nobody’s goal, and perfection shouldn’t be either. We’ll never be perfect. But remember these three P’s: Passion plus persistence equals possibility.”
—Jon Bon Jovi, 2001 commencement address, Monmouth University, West Long Branch, New Jersey1
Odds are, the passion described by Bon Jovi—the wholehearted pursuit of an activity with enthusiasm, fire, and zeal—is the kind with which you’re familiar. It’s celebrated widely and encouraged in nearly all settings, from the classroom to the workplace to the playing field. If you could just discover your passion and pursue it, the story goes, everything else will fall into place. But in reality, it doesn’t always work like that. Even if you find a passion to pursue, you’re probably not given much, if any, guidance on what happens next. While there are plenty of voices telling you to find your passion, there are hardly any telling you how to be passionate.
The seemingly straight line to success, happiness, and fulfillment that passion promises is almost always a more complicated route littered with potential wrong turns. In the words of Elon Musk, Silicon Valley mogul and founder of Tesla and SpaceX, “The reality is great highs, terrible lows, and unrelenting stress.”2 Consider just a few of the negative paths that passion can lead you down:
• You become a slave to external results and validation. Following early success, the desire for more—more money, more fame, more followers—can easily take over. Your initial passion for doing an activity turns into a passion for achievement and results. You tie your self-worth to external validation, and the experience of a failure, or even just a plateau of moderate success, becomes devastating, rattling you to the core. Your enjoyment decreases (at best) and you become anxious, depressed, and unethical (at worst).
• You become blind to everything but your passion. You throw yourself so fully into a pursuit that you neglect everything outside it. Your marriage falls apart. Your children grow up without you realizing it. You ignore your health. You may feel good in the moment—after all, you are consumed by something you love—but years pass and you look back with regret on how you spent your time.
• You burn out. Surrendering completely to passion may work for a day, a month, or even a year. But if left unchecked, most passions burn bright and burn short. It’s not that you don’t want to pace yourself, but simply that you can’t. You’re far too overwhelmed by the acute pull of passion to realize the emotional and physical effort you are putting forth may be unsustainable. Before you know it, you run out of energy. What could have been a lifetime of passion and meaningful work instead looks more like a short bout of reckless excitement.
• You lose joy. There is also a risk that your passion’s spark will dim slowly over time. A familiar story goes like this: You turn what started off as a wonderful hobby into a job (Blessed!); then you realize that what once was a wonderful hobby soon starts to feel like a job (This isn’t what I thought it would be like); and it’s not long before you start to question how something you once loved can seem like a chore (How on earth did this happen?). Though you never thought such a turn was possible, you come to dread your passion.
There is, of course, a different—and far better—kind of passion. It emerges when you become wrapped up in an activity primarily for the joy of doing the activity itself. When you experience success with humility and failure with temperate resolve. When your goal becomes your path and your path becomes your goal. When your passion is fueled by deep purpose and is in harmony with the rest of your life. When you practice mindful self-awareness to pierce through the tidal inertia that passion can create, giving you control over your passion so your passion doesn’t control you. When you feel alive not just for a few months or years but for an entire career or lifetime. This is the passion we all crave. This is the best kind of passion.
Almost all passions begin as enthusiastic pursuits. No one wants to burn out, throw their lives out of balance, or lose joy. Passion’s positive and negative paths—the good and bad kind of passion—arise from the same place; it’s just that if you don’t proactively prevent passion from veering off course, it’s likely to do so, oftentimes without you even realizing it. Put differently, passion is fragile, and it must be handled with care. This is why research shows that passion isn’t just linked to happiness, health, performance, and life satisfaction, but also to anxiety, depression, burnout, and unethical behavior.
Though lots has been written on how to find your passion, much of it is misguided, rife with clichés while short on evidence. And, as you’re starting to see, finding your passion is only half the battle anyway. Knowing how to sustain and channel it in a productive and healthy manner is the other—and equally important—half. Unfortunately, that half is rarely, if ever, discussed. As a result, far too often passion goes awry and people suffer from some version of the negative repercussions described above. This book aims to change that. To show you how you can find and cultivate passion and how you can manage its immense power for good. We’ll show you that what direction your passion takes is a choice, not a predetermined destiny. We’ll give you practical tools to ensure that your passion burns bright, long, and in harmony with the rest of your life. And we’ll do this without using trite clichés that dominate so many other books about this topic. We’ll be authentic and honest, bringing to bear not only the latest scientific evidence but also the thinking of some of the world’s most considerate poets and philosophers.
In order to achieve this goal, we’ll undergo a thorough exploration of passion. We’ll examine both the biological and psychological drivers that give rise to passion, as well as the stories of extraordinarily passionate individuals. Some of these stories will be positive, like those of Olympic swimming star Katie Ledecky and investor Warren Buffett; others will be cautionary tales, like those of the fraudulent businessman Jeffrey Skilling of Enron and baseball cheat Barry Bonds. We’ll question the merits of living a “balanced” life, explore how self-awareness prevents future regret, and discuss the importance of the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves. We’ll learn that passion is not an emotion that should be left to its own devices but rather one that should be harnessed with deliberate intention. But before we do any of that, in order to lay the groundwork for how we can live with the best kind of passion, we must first gain an understanding of its roots. We’ll start by traveling back in time to a distant yesterday, when the notion of passion first emerged.
Passion Practices
• Everyone tells us to find our passion but no one tells us how to find it, let alone how to live with it.
• While most passions start off as positive endeavors, they often take turns for the worse.
• If you don’t proactively manage your passion, you put yourself at risk for:
− Becoming a slave to external validation and results.
− Burnout.
− Regret.
− Loss of joy.
• If you do proactively manage your passion, however, living with passion leads to improved health, happiness, and overall life-satisfaction.
• In other words, there is both good passion and bad passion. And what direction your passion takes is largely up to you.
1. C. Jordan, “Gown Alert: Bon Jovi to Address Rutgers-Camden Commencement,” app., April 3, 2015, http://www.app.com/story/entertainment/2015/04/03/gown-alert-bon-jovi-to-address-rutgers-camden-commencement/70873794/.
2. Elon Musk (@elonmusk), “The reality is great highs, terrible lows, and unrelenting stress. Don’t think people want to hear about the last two,” Twitter, July 30, 2017, 1:23 p.m.,https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/891710778205626368.
Product details
- ASIN : B07DZJY37P
- Publisher : Rodale Books (March 19, 2019)
- Publication date : March 19, 2019
- Language : English
- File size : 1819 KB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Sticky notes : On Kindle Scribe
- Print length : 179 pages
- Best Sellers Rank: #611,617 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #367 in Applied Psychology
- #1,300 in Personal Success in Business
- #2,244 in Happiness
- Customer Reviews:
About the authors
Steve Magness is a world-renowned expert on performance, well-being, and sustainable success. He is coauthor of the best selling Peak Performance and The Passion Paradox. His most recent work is Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness. In his coaching practice, Steve works with executives, entrepreneurs, and athletes on their performance and mental skills.
His writing has appeared in Outside, Runner’s World, Forbes, Sports Illustrated, Men's Health, and a variety of other outlets. In addition, Steve's expertise on elite sport and performance has been featured in The New Yorker, Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, The Guardian, Business Insider, and ESPN The Magazine.
Steve received his undergraduate degree from the University of Houston and a graduate degree from George Mason University. He currently lives in Houston, Tx with his wife Hillary. Once upon a time, he ran a mile in 4:01 in high school, at the time the 6th fastest high school mile in US history.
Brad Stulberg researches, writes, and coaches on mental health, well-being, and sustainable excellence. He is bestselling author of The Practice of Groundedness and Master of Change. He regularly contributes to the New York Times and his work has been featured in the Wall Street Journal and the Atlantic, among other outlets. In his coaching practice, he works with executives, entrepreneurs, physicians, and athletes on their mental skills and overall well-being. He is on faculty at the University of Michigan's School of Public Health. His past books include Peak Performance and The Passion Paradox.
Follow him on Instagram @Bradstulberg and on Twitter @Bstulberg and learn more at www.bradstulberg.com
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Top reviews from the United States
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First, on the book/content side of things. I thought this book was very thorough and covered the full aspects of handling your passion. From finding it, working with it, letting it go and the pluses and minuses of embracing those passions might be.
I did feel the first few chapters were a bit slow as I thought they spent too much time explaining what passion is, the full history of the word and its meaning and a zillion examples of people who let their passions take them down the wrong path. By the end of chapter Two I was not sure if the book would be worth continuing to read. But I am glad I did, because the rest of the book was very thought provoking and useful.
One observation I had about the book was that I thought this book was more of a "lifetime" book than a one time use. What I mean by that is it is probably not likely that a single person would be simultaneously: seeking, working with, trying to get under control and letting go of an old passion. If I had to guess I would say its a lucky minority of people that ever really find a passion and run with it. I would guess most people are too afraid to really embrace a passion and go down a path of mediocrity, or a safe path, rather than truly pursuing a passion. So, I think this book will help someone think about how to focus on finding a passion of theirs, and then once they do this book would help a person manage that passion to be constructive in their life and not destructive. And eventually when it is time, to let go of that passion in a way they can feel good about, and perhaps pursue a new passion. Overall I felt this was a good read worth my time.
I would give the book content 4.9 stars, with the detraction being perhaps spend a little less time in the beginning hammering home the history of passion.
Now, about the CD version, which is what I bought.
First, I really do not recommend buying the CD - at least, not without some caveats.
I bought it so I could listen to the CD on my commute to work. Mistake. This is the type of book I really wanted to highlight and underline certain messages. There were a lot of key points provided that if I could have highlighted and underlined, I would have come back to later to reinforce the messages. Also, throughout each chapter they have multiple "passion practices" notes - little summaries of what we have learned. It would be great to revisit these more easily. Naturally, with a mp3 file, this is not possible. For this alone I am sad I did not buy the physical book.
Beyond the above, the CD is messed up physically. The tracks are mislabeled where the Intro is labeled track 1, chapter 1 is labeled track 2, chapter 2 is labeled track 3, etc. This makes it visually odd on the screen of your device to be told you're listening to chapter X, but the screen says chapter X + 1. To make matters worse - every track is simple labeled by the book title - not the actual chapter name.
So, chapter 3 looks like this on your device: "04_Passion_Paradox" When it would be MUCH more helpful if it was this: 03_Find And Grow Your Passion. For me, I took all the tracks off the CD and put them on my phone, and then went through the hassle of fixing all the track names - setting the introduction as chapter 00 and chapter 1 as chapter 1, etc.
I would give the physical CD 2 stars. Its still good and helpful to listen to in the car. But this is really the type of book they probably should not have done a CD on to prevent the customer from getting frustrated. Plus, the track names are all messed up.
So - in summary - the book is really good and I very much recommend buying it and reading it, but I highly recommend the physical book for the reasons above. You'll want to be able to easily come back to certain parts of the book and the CD is messed up.
Top reviews from other countries
Every penny was worth it; and I wish I've read this book years ago. But as they say: The best time to plant a tree is now.
It talked about the science behind passion. It talked personal accounts (including the authors') about how they navigated their passions, whether it's sports, business, and the arts.
It also talked about the good side and the bad side of passion. What happens when you get on the dark side of passion, and how to keep yourself in line with the brighter side of it.
It shared tips and tools on how to avoid burn out while pursuing your passion, and how to transition from one passion to another while still fulfilling what one's conceived as their overarching life purpose. It's like attending a MASTERCLASS about passion.
As of this writing, I've finished the book already. Took me 11 days. And I'm planning to reread it already.
Like I said, I've treated it as a guidebook about passion. And those who haven't read it, might be missing out. Anybody who's passionate with their goals and life purpose,
should... no. MUST read this book.