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Anne M Reid
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She Said She Said: Love, Loss, & Living My New Normal Kindle Edition

by Anne M Reid (Author), Jessica Bell (Illustrator), Amie McCracken (Illustrator), Format: Kindle Edition
4.2 4.2 out of 5 stars 24 ratings
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“My husband wanted to be a girl!”

Anne M Reid had the perfect life with her perfect partner. She and Paul had been together for 12 years, married with three beautiful children, when one night, without warning, Paul admits to a life-long feeling of disconnection with his body, only recently understanding why: as a young child, he had wanted to be a girl. The book explores the anguish Anne feels as Paul begins transitioning to Paula, and all the confusion, bewilderment and social stigma surrounding a gender transition.

Paula not only crossed the gender divide, but now had different likes and dislikes, and a different take on the world. The husband Anne knew disappeared from the world. How does she cope? How does she manage what is now a same sex relationship? How do the children adapt to two mothers?

As Paula expressed disdain for any photographs or reminders of her earlier times as a male, Anne begins to wonder if her marriage had been some elaborate lie. Even happy times in the past are now tinged with sadness. Yet Anne also manages compassion and understanding. Despite all the fallout, Anne and Paula remain together. And there's humour, for example, when the kids are deciding what to call their other mother. This book is written from the unique perspective of a partner of a transitioning person. It's a matter-of-fact, day-to-day account of what really goes on in a transitioning household. And it's told by an author who is comfortable with describing her deepest emotions, fears and anxiety. You befriend the author at an intimate, emotional level. Paula has penned some chapters to explain her desperate need to transition, and the process that took place from her perspective. 

At times this is an incredibly emotional book. Anne lets fly with feelings of anger, betrayal, sadness, despair and loneliness. For Anne, writing She Said, She Said was a cathartic exercise. It helped her keep sane in the face of massive change she never anticipated.
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  1. Print length
    400 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Sticky notes
    On Kindle Scribe
  4. Publication date
    September 21, 2018
  5. File size
    2740 KB
  6. Page Flip
    Enabled
  7. Word Wise
    Enabled
  8. Enhanced typesetting
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  9. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

Anne M Reid is a brilliant writer with a great capacity to tell a captivating story. And she tells it vividly. The narrative is compelling and the raw emotion is explosive. A must read on this subject.

PROFESSOR ROSS FITZGERALD, Author.

She Said, She Said isn't an ideological rant. It doesn't push barrows. It recalls, in a very intimate way, exactly what happened... It is 'gutsy' because it's incredibly hard for most of us to bare so much emotionally and personally, especially on an issue like this.

CHRIS GRIFFITH, Journalist, The Australian.

The ordinary and the extraordinary mix in this funny, moving, excruciatingly intimate, triumphant book which soars above issues of personal courage and journalistic integrity to tell a profoundly moving story which could have been custom built for our times.

JOHN STAPLETON, Journalist and author.

About the Author

Anne M Reid likes to embrace change. However, a major change without warning, alters her life's trajectory. Anne has had a varied career as an industrial designer, landscape architect, artist and analyst. She lives in Virginia with her family, including three creative kids with big imaginations, one rotund dog and a crazy cat.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B07HL6V7WV
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ A Sense of Place Publishing; 1st edition (September 21, 2018)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ September 21, 2018
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 2740 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 400 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.2 4.2 out of 5 stars 24 ratings

About the author

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Anne M Reid

Anne M Reid

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Anne M Reid was born in Melbourne, Australia, the eldest of three children. Anne grew up on a dairy farm with parents who had moved from the city to experience a new lifestyle. Anne inherited a wanderlust from her mother, born in Shanghai to expat parents. Her formative years were instrumental in her want to explore the world, and her ability to embrace change.

Anne has a creative soul which she has expressed through her interests and various careers as an industrial designer, landscape architect and artist. She came to writing as a means of catharsis and to document her experiences as someone who found they were married to a person who felt completely wrong within their own body: eventually transitioning to live authentically as a woman.

Anne's first publication, She Said, She Said was released in April 2018. She lives in rural Virginia USA with her family, including three bright and creative kids, one rotund dog and a crazy cat.

Customer reviews

4.2 out of 5 stars
4.2 out of 5
24 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Kelly H.
5.0 out of 5 stars Honest and not sugar coated, a rarely heard perspective
Reviewed in the United States on March 14, 2019
Verified Purchase
As the spouse (currently separated amicably) of someone who came out and started transitioning after a decade of knowing each other, after we had established a middle class suburban life together and had a child (5 years old at the time), I relate to so much in Anne’s story. She has done an excellent job of being raw and real about her experience, about the battle between wanting to be supportive but grieving and dealing with your own emotions at the same time. Many times the stories of couples navigating transition together gloss over how much of a roller coaster it can be. All we typically see is “they stayed together” or “they ended up divorcing.” Rarely do we see a window into the period between the coming out and the outcome, the complexities that enter the relationship, the compromises that are made, and the (sometimes very long) period of limbo in which many (most?) in this situation find themselves. Anne kept it very real in a way that shared her own reactions, thoughts, and emotions while still commanding respect and compassion for her spouse. The educational bits in her book are a great resource for those who want or need to be educated on the experience of transgender people and the process of transition, and her resource section is extremely helpful for those wanting to support a transgender person and/or their partner.
2 people found this helpful
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Grandma55
5.0 out of 5 stars Beautifully written. This is an honest account of what ...
Reviewed in the United States on May 22, 2018
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Beautifully written. This is an honest account of what her experience was during a difficult life transition. Heart wrenching at times and then unexpectedly hilarious at others. I love that Paula includes her own perspective and feelings throughout the book. During a time when you feel like you just can’t deal with what’s happening, love prevails. Unconditional love. Her story is one that people need to hear. To know. Thank you for writing such a beautiful book.
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theonedeputy
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book, Great Read
Reviewed in the United States on September 19, 2018
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Wow, just wow! The bravery of this author and this family to go through such a challenge. You really do feel a genuine love between the main couple. Throughout reading the book, I was drawn by emotions and the challenges. As a total side note, after reading this book, I really do want to visit Australia and eat in all the places mentioned.
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Engaging and Informative
Reviewed in the United States on April 15, 2018
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This book is engaging, very personal and informative. A story of strength, love and adaptation in the face of monumental personal changes and challenges. There is a lot of very useful information and links to resources at the end for those who want to learn more and understand better about this subject.
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DR RACHEL A HEATH
5.0 out of 5 stars A wonderfully truthful, compassionate and informative account of a loved one's transition from one gender to another
Reviewed in the United States on May 16, 2018
Anne Reid’s book She Said, She Said: Love, Loss, & Living My New Normal tells the story of a wife and mother of three young children who suddenly discovers that her husband has had a life-long dream to live full-time as a gender-affirmed woman. I had looked forward to reading Anne’s book because I knew how great must be a wife’s grief, surprise and devastation at the unexpected loss of a husband, and her bravery and love as they continued to live their lives together. Anne’s book makes it quite clear that these feelings are very real. They can reveal themselves unexpectedly and they don’t run away that easily.
It is just wonderful to realize that there are brave, kind and intelligent women in this world who are prepared to stand by their loved one through thick and thin. Anne refused to rid herself of her soulmate, Paula, the one person she had loved all these years and with whom she had such a wonderful family. Like Paula, I am a computer geek, so I can understand how it is possible to maintain one’s professional standing while going through what is surely the most amazing and life-changing journey any person can take.
Anne has a wonderfully punctate way of expressing her emotions in a truthful and heart-felt manner – by using abrupt short phrases. These lend credence to the text and express feelings in a way that full sentences cannot. We enjoy hearing about Anne’s social encounters back in Australia and her enjoyable life as a consummate athlete and professional landscape designer. We learn of her chance encounter with her husband-to-be and all the joyful moments as they travel to the United States to further their careers and to have a family. We are given a window into Anne’s own family, the sad loss of her mother, and of her husband’s family and difficult experiences in boarding school. We are transported into the midst of their adventurous lives, lives that will continue to evolve over time.
The book is not just an interesting life story. It contains some up-to-date information on the science of gender diversity and affirmation. The author has done a thoroughly decent research job, providing a readable and accurate account of what is known about transitioning and living one’s life in a gender different from one’s birth-assigned sex. What you won’t read in any of these scientific publications is Anne’s account of the humanity that should be part of any account of the trans* experience --- living one’s life in another gender is not a mental illness and a person has every right to direct their own progress through the tortuous path to fulfillment. The doctors and other helpers are only there to smooth the passage not impose hurdles in our way.
I can thoroughly recommend this book to everyone who likes to read about bravery, compassion, love and success. On the way you will learn a lot about yourself and your attitude towards people who are often given short shrift by many prominent members of society. And, of course, you will become an expert in the field of gender diversity so that you can snub noses at all those denigrating articles you read in the media written by academics and journalists who know far less than you about how to properly relate to trans* people. So please get hold of this very important and informative book. You will enjoy every word of it!
One person found this helpful
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Laura C. Wolfe
2.0 out of 5 stars A Disappointing and Incomplete Story
Reviewed in the United States on November 11, 2020
I purchased this book specifically because I am looking for more material relevant to my own situation: navigating a partner’s gender transition while parenting small kids. I have to say, I was disappointed. The author of this book continually returns to the themes of ableism, gender conformity, and her own self-involvement in this poorly-written meandering tome. She manages to devote pages and pages to detailed descriptions of her birth stories, her mother’s illness, and restaurant meals, yet is noticeably light on sharing details of her own emotional experience surrounding her partner’s transition. It’s clear that the author has some more work to do; I hope to see an expanded and updated version of this book in the future.
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Top reviews from other countries

M.
5.0 out of 5 stars Eye opening
Reviewed in Spain on October 7, 2023
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I read it in one sitting. A moving testimony. Everybody should read it to be more sympathetic and understanding
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4.0 out of 5 stars Very honest and revealing memoir
Reviewed in Canada on May 3, 2020
Verified Purchase
Anne Reid wrote this book as a form of catharsis after her spouse's transition. She certainly does not hold back when describing the emotional roller coaster she has gone through, yet she is remarkably compassionate towards Paula's situation. It's a courageous and well-written book, worth reading for anyone interested in learning about gender transition, especially from a spouse's perspective.
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Ash72
5.0 out of 5 stars Honest and educational
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 14, 2018
Verified Purchase
This is such an honest, no-holds-barred account of how the direction of family life can change in a moment. Anne shares her journey through shock, struggle, grief and love so openly; giving a heartfelt perspective on the journey of finding herself to be the wife of a transwoman. As someone trying to learn about and understand gender diversity this has been an interesting and educational read for me.
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M. Ashley
5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 1, 2020
Verified Purchase
A great book and extremely helpful to my current situation of having a trans partner.
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