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The (un)Lucky Sperm: Tales of my bizarre childhood - a funny memoir. Kindle Edition

by Brett Preiss (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.1 4.1 out of 5 stars 988 ratings
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Growing up in an isolated Australian mining town can make or break you. Especially, if you are different. The (un)Lucky Sperm is a funny memoir — a collection of honest, harrowing and absurd accounts.

Until he was seventeen, Brett Preiss lived in the dusty outback of Australia, where he was one of four siblings in a dysfunctional family. He learned how to survive under the most bizarre and extraordinary circumstances.

In this book, he shares the trials and tribulations of his youth through anecdotes that will leave you in tears of joy or sorrow. Travel back to the ’60s and ’70s and watch Brett transform from a sperm to adolescence. Follow him having his first piano lesson, first sewing machine, first kiss and first ejaculation.

The story is moving and disturbing, brutal yet hilarious. Cheer him along in his struggles and triumphs until he leaves the desert and heads off to college.

If you like stories full of sarcasm and observational humor, then you are going to love this book.

If you want a laugh, get your copy of The (un)Lucky Sperm today!

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  1. Print length
    154 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Sticky notes
    On Kindle Scribe
  4. Publication date
    January 20, 2021
  5. Reading age
    16 - 18 years
  6. File size
    987 KB
  7. Page Flip
    Enabled
  8. Word Wise
    Enabled
  9. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
  10. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review


A fabulous read.
"I thoroughly enjoyed this remarkable read on a very difficult childhood and search for identity. Those raised in the mid-twentieth century will appreciate the complications of severe traditional upbringing and stress to conform to stereotypical family values. It was a horrifying time to be different or to push against the norm. Yet, this author is able to reflect on this era with great humor. He didn't come through unscathed, but his attitude helps us to understand and forgive the past. Healing comes with acceptance and happiness follows."
- MJC VINE VOICE - Amazon.com

Excellent narrative voice.
"Funny, tragic, witty, smart, addicting. Couldn't put it down. Read it! You will be so glad you did. Brilliant writer."
- CM - Amazon.com

Interesting view of life.
"The author has written a very insightful story about growing up with difficulties and making the most of being different. Very real and very humorous."
- De Hufford - Amazon.com

What a range of emotions.
"I read this in one sitting. The story the author paints is like a really bad wreck you know is going to happen but you can't look away. I ranged from laughing out loud to tears rolling down my face to laughing so hard tears were rolling down my face to wanting to call Child Protection Services. What a brilliant tale. I very much see this as a movie much like the zany story "Holes". The last line of the book is absolutely the perfect bow on this package."
- Leslie Davis - Amazon.com

What a great story!
"I loved reading the tales of Brett's childhood. There was so much I could relate to in his story. The first kiss, my mom the nurse, bullies and the nature of being different from everyone around me. This a fun book to read and enjoy. I highly recommend it to anyone. I will definitely be reading it again and again. Congratulations."
- Charlie Cruiser -Amazon.com

About the Author

Brett Preiss was born in a mining town in the hot, dry outback of Australia. When he discovered there was a world beyond Down Under, he packed his bags, and for the next thirty years taught internationally in Japan, Germany and the Netherlands.

He is an author, ESL teacher, musician and mindfulness instructor. He also loves to tell jokes and tap dance (not at the same time!). Brett entered the writing foray with his first book, Go, Percy! Go!, which was published in English and then in Dutch as Hup, Peter! Hup! His second book, I'm Crazy About Holland Because . . . , was a chance to share his love for cows, cheese and clogs..

One of his favourite quotes is from an English author, Humphrey Carpenter: 'The nice thing about being a writer is that you can make magic happen without learning tricks'.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B08TMSLN7K
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ (January 20, 2021)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ January 20, 2021
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 987 KB
  • Simultaneous device usage ‏ : ‎ Unlimited
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 154 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.1 4.1 out of 5 stars 988 ratings

About the author

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Brett Preiss

Brett Preiss

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Brett Preiss was born in a mining town in the hot, dry, outback of Australia. With itchy feet and longing for sea air, he headed to the tropical east coast. It was the perfect place to go to university, surf, and eat his first mango. When he discovered there was a world beyond Down Under, he packed his bags and for the next thirty years taught internationally in Japan, Germany and The Netherlands. He is an author, ESL teacher, musician, and mindfulness instructor. He also loves to tell jokes and tap dance (not at the same time!). Brett's first book, 'Go, Percy! Go!' was published in English, and then in Dutch as, 'Hup, Peter! Hup!'. His second book, 'I'm Crazy About Holland Because ...' was a chance to share his love for cows, cheese and clogs. He enjoys creating resources for educators, as well as writing fiction for children and adults. One of his favorite quotes is from an English author, Humphrey Carpenter: "The nice thing about being a writer is that you can make magic happen without learning tricks".

Customer reviews

4.1 out of 5 stars
4.1 out of 5
988 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Lynda-Ross Vega
5.0 out of 5 stars Witty, thought provoking, and inspiring! Brilliantly done!
Reviewed in the United States on January 24, 2021
Verified Purchase
Brett Preiss is a master storyteller who shares the harrowing and hilarious events of his childhood through the prism of the wit and wisdom he has cultivated as an adult. His childhood was caught up in a perfect storm of contradictions and challenges - a dysfunctional family, harsh environment, growing up gay, Catholicism - and yet he found joy and solace in his own creativity, curiosity, and humor. I laughed and cried with him as he journeyed through his childhood. Brett's writing drew me in and kept me cheering for him from cover to cover. His ability to see the humanity in even the most difficult people in his life is amazing. More than a memoir, "The (un)Lucky Sperm" is an affirmation of life. I highly recommend it and hope Brett will share more tales of his life with us in the future!
22 people found this helpful
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Laura Leigh
4.0 out of 5 stars Raw humor
Reviewed in the United States on June 4, 2021
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Life in the outback almost placed dust in my mouth and searing heat on my back. I felt I was there watching life unfold. Thank you for your candid and humorous account of your start in life. An enjoyable, emotional stirring ,real read.
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Delightfully Thoughtful
Reviewed in the United States on October 19, 2023
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I didn't know what to expect from this book, but it is a great story of a boy who grew up in Australia that didn't fit in with his surroundings. Overcoming his bizarre family he navigates his way on being himself no matter what. I laughed out loud many times., and was sadden when people were cruel to him. I was sad when it ended so abruptly, and wish I learned more about his early 20s, when he could truly be more himself. Thabk you Brett for sharing your story with the world!
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Lynette Louw
3.0 out of 5 stars Not that bizarre
Reviewed in the United States on December 23, 2021
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Very funny, heart warming and familiar story. This read pretty much like my own years as a child and teen in a mining community. I'm not sure why the author reckons that his was a bizarre childhood. Besides his father's violence towards his mother, the story is one of a pretty normal childhood in a mining community. Alcohol abuse and corporal punishment came with the territory. The story is a reflection of that era and environment and, right or wrong, how parents and teachers believed things should get done. All in all a pleasant read and certainly funny.
One person found this helpful
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Kindle reader
4.0 out of 5 stars Survival
Reviewed in the United States on September 25, 2021
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This is a brutal book. It's also a look at dysfunction, bullies, alcoholism, and trying to survive a terrible family drama. That being said , the authors story is humorous in places and his escape through music and higher learning is admirable. A!so a sense of humour is key. Well written.
2 people found this helpful
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JoelFam
5.0 out of 5 stars enjoyable funny read
Reviewed in the United States on October 21, 2023
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This book was enjoyable humerus read, light and giving a glimpse into an alternate existence in the outback mining town .
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Helen j. Bishop
5.0 out of 5 stars from child to man
Reviewed in the United States on September 3, 2023
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This book is well written. Easy reading. Sad at times and funny. I found it enjoyable reading.Brett turned into a likable person.
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James C Young
2.0 out of 5 stars Neither Bizarre nor Funny
Reviewed in the United States on December 23, 2021
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This story sounds like a typical Australian Outback life from infant to college age. It may have been funny to the author, but I did not find the narrative funny. Further, the story quits just when it could have started to get interesting. Also, the author gives a sideways swipe to instances that could have captured the readers interest
(such as “copulating” with the clergy) but never provides any details. Mr. Preiss story was just ordinary.
2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Rover
5.0 out of 5 stars Cathartic!
Reviewed in Canada on July 23, 2021
Verified Purchase
I grew up much like Brett but in the prairies of Canada. Apart from the brutal father, everything was more or less familiar. The humorous descriptions were very cathartic to read and reflect upon. Lots of laughter, and at times, tears. Anyone wanting to get a glimps of what it is like growing up; discovering identity; dealing with and accepting what seems to be impossible in order to become our true selves will be very enlightened. Thanks be to the Mothers who love their sons unconditionally!!
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Kindle-klant
5.0 out of 5 stars is it finished already??
Reviewed in the Netherlands on February 14, 2021
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I have so much enjoyed reading this book. The way Brett Preiss has written about his life with so much humour, kept me hooked and didnt want it to finish. Looking forward to the sequal!
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Christine & Fin
5.0 out of 5 stars "Candid to a Fault"
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 27, 2021
Verified Purchase
A thoroughly engaging read, full of wit, humour and honesty. The writer does a great job conveying the feelings of his childhood up to when he flees the nest. An impressive memoir with plenty to offer the reader showing the struggles of growing up in an unorthodox family and a dusty, hot, mining town in NSW Australia. Look out for the "Runaway Mother", "Fishy Business" and "Puberty Blues" chapters. So, grab a beer and a plateful of "lapine au vin" and get stuck in, you will not regret it, the book that is! Put it in your basket and press buy! 
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Christine & Fin
5.0 out of 5 stars "Candid to a Fault"
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 27, 2021
A thoroughly engaging read, full of wit, humour and honesty. The writer does a great job conveying the feelings of his childhood up to when he flees the nest. An impressive memoir with plenty to offer the reader showing the struggles of growing up in an unorthodox family and a dusty, hot, mining town in NSW Australia. Look out for the "Runaway Mother", "Fishy Business" and "Puberty Blues" chapters. So, grab a beer and a plateful of "lapine au vin" and get stuck in, you will not regret it, the book that is! Put it in your basket and press buy! 
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3 people found this helpful
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PeterS
5.0 out of 5 stars witty and thought-provoking
Reviewed in Germany on January 25, 2021
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If you want to be entertained and learn useful life lessons without having to go through the pain of experiencing everything yourself, this book is ideal for you. Written in an easy to read and witty style, the author takes you through various stages of his life and shares a mixture of funny and thought provoking episodes. From his childhood in a far away Australian mining town to finally leaving home, the book is telling many funny and often painful events and makes you want to get to know the author to see how he has turned out to be today.
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Julie
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious and Heartbreaking
Reviewed in Australia on January 22, 2021
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This memoir about a boy growing up in a mining town in Australia with his dysfunctional family is both hilarious and heartbreaking. The book recounts the life of a talented and creative boy who never really felt he belonged in the family he was born into. With an violent and alcoholic father, an unhappy mother and a band of bullying brothers, the author recounts his early childhood and adolescent years growing up in the 60’s and 70’s in the harsh outback town of Broken Hill. Despite the violence and dysfunction around him this book shines with stories of the myriad of characters in his life and his often hilarious day to day experiences as he navigates growing up and becoming his true self. A fabulous and funny memoir.
2 people found this helpful
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