When our son was first diagnosed on the Autism spectrum, almost immediately we bought books to help with the steep learning curve. Six Word Lessons on Growing Up Autistic is a book I can see myself going back to again and again as my knowledge and experience as an Autism Mom evolves.
The book is divided into 10 chapters on things like “Suspecting Your Child Has Autism,” “Transitions in School as they Age,” and “Daily Dealing with your Autistic Child, all from the perspective and in the voice of a young man with Autism.
The author, Trevor Pacelli, was diagnosed at the age of five in a family that had not experienced Autism before. His goal in writing the book was to help other families by sharing his insights and experiences.
One of my favorite things about this book is that it is an easy read. This was incredibly important when I was trying desperately to wrap my head around mountains of information in the weeks and months after the diagnosis. Having something that was good information, concise, and genuine that I could also digest quickly was a gift.
There are two primary components in each of these lessons – a description of Autism facts, and personal insights from the author. It is the personal insights that I find most compelling:
On the reluctance to make eye contact that some children with Autism experience – “[Children with Autism] are very observant so they will notice everything, including your attitude toward them.”
On difficulty with transitions – “Because I get so focused and absorbed into whatever I am doing, it often takes a full hour to fully move on from that activity to another.”
On the importance of social activities – “Every human who has ever lived – even those with autism – has his piece to fill in this giant puzzle known as society.”
On educating a child with Autism – “Teach in a way he can understand.”
There is also advice on common family events such as moving, new babies in the family, divorce and re-marriage, among others.
One of two important suggestions from the author is to consistently and genuinely encourage my child so that he does not focus only on the negative. The second is to help him not classify relationships in a black and white manner by developing a “T-chart” – listing on one side likable qualities, and listing on the other frustrating qualities in people – to help develop a more realistic viewpoint.
Every person with Autism manifests it differently. The saying goes: “Once you have met a person with Autism, you have met a person with Autism.” So while the issues outlined in his book may not fully reflect other children’s issues, I still recommend this to parents, especially those of children newly diagnosed.
As it did for me, it may provide easily digestible information at a time when they feel lost, as well as offer hope that they too will successfully find their way on their new Autism parenting path.
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Six-Word Lessons on Growing Up Autistic
Lonnie Pacelli, Author
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