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Untamed Hardcover – March 10, 2020

by Glennon Doyle (Author), Glennon Doyle Melton (Author)

4.6 66,230 ratings

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#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • OVER TWO MILLION COPIES SOLD! “Packed with incredible insight about what it means to be a woman today.”—Reese Witherspoon (Reese’s Book Club Pick)

In her most revealing and powerful memoir yet, the activist, speaker, bestselling author, and “patron saint of female empowerment” (People) explores the joy and peace we discover when we stop striving to meet others’ expectations and start trusting the voice deep within us.

“Untamed will liberate women—emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It is phenomenal.”—Elizabeth Gilbert, author of City of Girls and Eat Pray Love

A BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR: Oprah Daily, The Washington Post, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Bloomberg, Parade

This is how you find yourself.

There is a voice of longing inside each woman. We strive so mightily to be good: good partners, daughters, mothers, employees, and friends. We hope all this striving will make us feel alive. Instead, it leaves us feeling weary, stuck, overwhelmed, and underwhelmed. We look at our lives and wonder: Wasn’t it all supposed to be more beautiful than this? We quickly silence that question, telling ourselves to be grateful, hiding our discontent—even from ourselves.

For many years, Glennon Doyle denied her own discontent. Then, while speaking at a conference, she looked at a woman across the room and fell instantly in love. Three words flooded her mind: There She Is. At first, Glennon assumed these words came to her from on high. But she soon realized they had come to her from within. This was her own voice—the one she had buried beneath decades of numbing addictions, cultural conditioning, and institutional allegiances. This was the voice of the girl she had been before the world told her who to be. Glennon decided to quit abandoning herself and to instead abandon the world’s expectations of her. She quit being good so she could be free. She quit pleasing and started living.

Soulful and uproarious, forceful and tender, Untamed is both an intimate memoir and a galvanizing wake-up call. It is the story of how one woman learned that a responsible mother is not one who slowly dies for her children, but one who shows them how to fully live. It is the story of navigating divorce, forming a new blended family, and discovering that the brokenness or wholeness of a family depends not on its structure but on each member’s ability to bring her full self to the table. And it is the story of how each of us can begin to trust ourselves enough to set boundaries, make peace with our bodies, honor our anger and heartbreak, and unleash our truest, wildest instincts so that we become women who can finally look at ourselves and say: There She Is.

Untamed shows us how to be brave. As Glennon insists: The braver we are, the luckier we get.

Print length

352 pages
Language

English
Publisher

The Dial Press
Publication date

March 10, 2020
Dimensions

5.96 x 1.33 x 8.47 inches
ISBN-10

1984801252
ISBN-13

978-1984801258
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Popular Highlights in this book

What are popular highlights?

The truest, most beautiful life never promises to be an easy one. We need to let go of the lie that it’s supposed to be.
Highlighted by 28,956 Kindle readers
When a woman finally learns that pleasing the world is impossible, she becomes free to learn how to please herself.
Highlighted by 28,731 Kindle readers
Brave means living from the inside out. Brave means, in every uncertain moment, turning inward, feeling for the Knowing, and speaking it out loud.
Highlighted by 25,670 Kindle readers
Rebellion is as much of a cage as obedience is. They both mean living in reaction to someone else’s way instead of forging your own. Freedom is not being for or against an ideal, but creating your own existence from scratch.
Highlighted by 20,368 Kindle readers

From the Publisher

untamed;glennon doyle;Glennon Doyle Melton;elizabeth gilbert;reese witherspoon;gifts for mom;memoir

untamed;glennon doyle;Glennon Doyle Melton;gifts for mom;brene brown;gifts for women;love warrior


	Get Untamed: The Journal (How to Quit Pleasing and Start Living)

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Price	$10.49
	A guided journal from Glennon Doyle, based on her #1 bestseller, Untamed

Editorial Reviews

Review

“Some books shake you by the shoulder while others steal your heart. In Untamed, Glennon does both at the exact same time.”—Brené Brown

“This memoir is so packed with incredible insight about what it means to be a woman today, what it means to be ‘good,’ and what women will do in order to be loved. I swear I highlighted something in EVERY chapter.”—Reese Witherspoon

“Doyle might just be the patron saint of female empowerment. . . . Here she inspires other women to listen to their intuition and break free of what cages them. . . . Her memoir has a message as clear as a ‘go’ signal: Find and honor your truest self.”—People (Book of the Week)

“Reading Glennon Doyle’s memoir, Untamed, is diving into an adventure of what we can become. We collectively grow stronger as we are more willing to ask hard questions.”—Ms.

“Filled with hopeful messages . . . encourag[ing] women to reject the status quo and follow their intuition . . . This testament to female empowerment and self-love, with an endearing coming-out story at the center, will delight readers.”—Publishers Weekly

“She is a terrific storyteller. . . . Whether discussing her children or the world outside, challenging conformity, confronting misogyny, or standing up to religious bigotry, her goal as a memoirist (and as a person) is to defy expectations and to help others break out of their cultural cages so that everyone can find their own version of humanity. A bracing jolt of honesty from someone who knows what she wants to say and isn’t afraid to say it.”—Booklist (starred review)

“An emotional gut punch . . . an in-depth look at a courageous woman eager to share the wealth of her experiences by embracing vulnerability and reclaiming her inner strength and resiliency. Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.”—Kirkus Reviews

About the Author

Author, activist, founder of Together Rising, and host of the We Can Do Hard Things podcast Glennon Doyle is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Untamed, a Reese’s Book Club selection, which has sold over two million copies. She is also the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Love Warrior, an Oprah’s Book Club selection, and Carry On, Warrior. An activist and “patron saint of female empowerment” (People), Glennon hosts the We Can Do Hard Things podcast. She is the founder and president of Together Rising, an all-women-led nonprofit organization that has revolutionized grassroots philanthropy—raising over $30 million for women, families, and children in crisis. Glennon lives in Florida with her wife and three children.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Part One

caged

sparks

Four years ago, married to the father of my three children, I fell in love with a woman.

Much later, I watched that woman drive away from my home to meet with my parents and share her plan to propose to me. She thought I didn’t know what was happening that Sunday morning, but I knew.

When I heard her car return, I settled into the couch, opened a book, and tried to slow my pulse. She walked through the door and directly toward me, bent down, kissed my forehead. She pushed my hair aside and took a deep breath of my neck, like she always does. Then she stood up and disappeared into the bedroom. I walked to the kitchen to pour some coffee for her, and when I turned around, she was right there in front of me, down on one knee, holding a ring. Her eyes were certain and pleading, wide and laser focused, sky blue, bottomless.

“I couldn’t wait,” she said. “I just could not wait another minute.”

Later, in bed, I laid my head on her chest while we talked about her morning. She’d told my parents, “I love your daughter and grandchildren like I’ve never loved before. I’ve spent my entire life searching and preparing myself for them. I promise you that I will love and protect them forever.” My mother’s lip quivered with fear and courage as she said, “Abby. I have not seen my daughter this alive since she was ten years old.”

Much else was said that morning, but that first response from my mother jumped out at me like a sentence in a novel begging to be underlined:

I have not seen my daughter this alive since she was ten years old.

My mother watched the spark in my eyes fade during my tenth year on Earth. Now, thirty years later, she was witnessing the return of that spark. In the past few months, my entire posture had changed. I looked regal to her. And a little scary.

After that day, I began to ask myself: Where did my spark go at ten? How had I lost myself?

I’ve done my research and learned this: Ten is when we learn how to be good girls and boys. Ten is when children begin to let go of who they are in order to become what the world expects them to be. Ten is when our formal taming begins.

Ten is when the world sat me down, told me to be quiet, and pointed toward my cages:

These are the feelings you may express.

This is the version of womanhood you will mimic.

This is the body you must strive for.

These are the things you will believe.

These are the people you may love.

Those are the people you will fear.

This is the kind of life you will want.

Make yourself fit. You’ll be uncomfortable at first, but don’t worry—eventually you’ll forget you’re caged. Soon this will just feel like: life.

I wanted to be a good girl, so I tried to control myself. I chose a personality, a body, a faith, and a sexuality so tiny I had to hold my breath to fit myself inside. Then I promptly became very sick.

When I became a good girl, I also became a bulimic. None of us can hold our breath all the time. Bulimia was where I exhaled. It was where I refused to comply, indulged my hunger, and expressed my fury. I became animalistic during my daily binges. Then I’d drape myself over the toilet and purge because a good girl must stay very small to fit inside her cages. She must leave no outward evidence of her hunger. Good girls aren’t hungry, furious, or wild. All of the things that make a woman human are a good girl’s dirty secret.

Back then, I suspected that my bulimia meant that I was crazy. In high school, did a stint in a mental hospital and my suspicion was confirmed.

I understand myself differently now.

I was just a caged girl made for wide-open skies.

I wasn’t crazy. I was a goddamn cheetah.

When I saw Abby, I remembered my wild. I wanted her, and it was the first time I wanted something beyond what I had been trained to want. I loved her, and it was the first time I loved someone beyond those I had been expected to love. Creating a life with her was the first original idea I’d ever had and the first decision I made as a free woman. After thirty years of contorting myself to fit inside someone else’s idea of love, I finally had a love that fit—custom made for me, by me. I’d finally asked myself what I wanted instead of what the world wanted from me. I felt alive. I’d tasted freedom, and I wanted more.

I looked hard at my faith, my friendships, my work, my sexuality, my entire life and asked: How much of this was my idea? Do I truly want any of this, or is this what I was conditioned to want? Which of my beliefs are of my own creation and which were programmed into me? How much of who I’ve become is inherent, and how much was just inherited? How much of the way I look and speak and behave is just how other people have trained me to look and speak and behave? How much of what I’ve spent my life chasing are just dirty pink bunnies? Who was I before I became who the world told me to be?

Over time, I walked away from my cages. I slowly built a new marriage, a new faith, a new worldview, a new purpose, a new family, and a new identity by design instead of default. From my imagination instead of my indoctrination. From my wild instead of from my training.

What follows are stories about how I got caged—and how I got free.

apples

I am ten years old, and I’m sitting in a small room in the back of Nativity Catholic Church with twenty other kids. I am at CCD, where my parents send me on Wednesday nights to learn about God. Our CCD teacher is my classmate’s mom. I do not remember her name, but I do remember that she keeps telling us that she is an accountant during the day. Her family needed service hours, so she volunteered to work in the gift shop. Instead, the church assigned her to room 423, fifth-grade CCD. So now—on Wednesdays between 6:30 and 7:30 p.m.—she teaches children about God.

She asks us to sit on the carpet in front of her chair, because she is going to explain to us how God made people. I hurry to get a spot in front. I am very curious about how and why I was made. I notice that our teacher does not have a Bible or any other books in her lap. She is going to speak from memory. I am impressed.

She begins.

“God made Adam and put him in a beautiful garden. Adam was God’s favorite creation, so He told Adam that his only jobs were to be happy, rule over the garden, and name the animals. Adam’s life was almost perfect. Except that he got lonely and stressed. He wanted some company and help naming the animals. So he told God that he wanted a companion and a helper. One night, God helped Adam give birth to Eve. From inside Adam’s body, a woman was born. That is why she is called woman. Because women came from the womb of man. Womb—man.”

I am so amazed that I forget to raise my hand.

“Wait. Adam gave birth to Eve? But don’t people come from women’s bodies? Shouldn’t boys be called woman? Shouldn’t all people be called woman?”

My teacher says, “Raise your hand, Glennon.”

I raise my hand. She motions for me to put it back down. The boy sitting to my left rolls his eyes at me.

Our teacher goes on.

“Adam and Eve were happy, and everything stayed perfect for a while.

“But then God said there was one tree they couldn’t eat from: the Tree of Knowledge. Even though it was the only thing in the entire garden that Eve wasn’t allowed to want, she wanted an apple from that tree anyway. So one day, she got hungry, picked the apple off the tree, and took a bite. Then she tricked Adam into taking a bite, too. As soon as Adam bit into the apple, Eve and Adam felt shame for the first time and tried to hide from God. But God sees everything, so God knew. God banished Adam and Eve from the beautiful garden. Then He cursed them and their future children, and for the first time, suffering existed on the earth. This is why we still suffer today, because Eve’s original sin is inside of all of us. That sin is wanting to know more than we are supposed to know, wanting more instead of being grateful for what we have, and doing what we want to do instead of what we should do.”

That was some careful accounting. I had no further questions.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ The Dial Press; Later Printing edition (March 10, 2020)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 352 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1984801252
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1984801258
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.96 x 1.33 x 8.47 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #1,052 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #21 in Women's Biographies
- #23 in Happiness Self-Help
- #60 in Memoirs (Books)

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4.6 66,230 ratings

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Glennon Doyle

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GLENNON DOYLE

Author, Activist, Founder of Together Rising, and Host of the We Can Do Hard Things Podcast

Glennon Doyle is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller UNTAMED, a Reese’s Book Club selection, which has sold over two million copies. She is also the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller LOVE WARRIOR, an Oprah’s Book Club selection, and CARRY ON, WARRIOR. An activist and “patron saint of female empowerment” (People), Glennon hosts the WE CAN DO HARD THINGS Podcast. She is the founder and president of Together Rising, an all-women-led nonprofit organization that has revolutionized grassroots philanthropy – raising over $35 million for women, families, and children in crisis. Glennon lives in Florida with her wife and three children.

For more information on Glennon, please visit www.glennondoyle.com

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Frank Candelori

Empowering and Eye-Opening - A Solid 5 Stars!

Reviewed in the United States on August 25, 2023

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I am thrilled to leave a glowing five-star review for "Untamed" by Glennon Doyle. This book has had a profound impact on me, and I'm excited to share my thoughts on the experience it provides.

"Untamed" is a powerful and empowering memoir that delves deep into themes of self-discovery, authenticity, and breaking free from societal expectations. Doyle's writing is raw, honest, and deeply relatable. From the moment I started reading, I felt a connection to her journey and the struggles she navigates.

One of the standout qualities of this book is Doyle's ability to articulate complex emotions and thoughts in a way that resonates with readers. Her insights into the expectations placed on women, the constraints of traditional roles, and the journey to reclaiming one's true self are both enlightening and inspiring.

The book's narrative structure flows seamlessly, moving between personal anecdotes, reflections, and philosophical insights. Each chapter is thought-provoking and prompts introspection, encouraging readers to question their own beliefs and choices.

As a reader, I felt a sense of liberation and empowerment as I followed Doyle's transformation. Her willingness to share her vulnerabilities and challenges makes her journey all the more relatable and impactful. By embracing her own untamed nature, she invites readers to do the same in their own lives.

In conclusion, "Untamed" by Glennon Doyle is a remarkable piece of literature that has the power to ignite personal growth, self-acceptance, and a renewed sense of purpose. Doyle's wisdom, vulnerability, and authenticity shine through in every page, making this book a true gem. If you're seeking a book that challenges societal norms, encourages self-discovery, and celebrates the beauty of embracing your true self, "Untamed" is an absolute must-read. I wholeheartedly give it a solid five-star rating.

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Serina Hertel

G and Untamed are a balm for a hurting world

Reviewed in the United States on March 23, 2020

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To give a light synopsis of my last week: I am a traveling nurse practitioner. I work in urgent care in WV while my home, spouse and family are in Kansas. I stay in a hotel. I battle loneliness, fatigue and homesickness. My anxiety is high due to the current coronavirus.

Enter Untamed: the one thing keeping me going during this whole thing. Glennon's words and stories have been a balm for my soul. A battle cry. Permission to feel all my feelings about my current situation and about my life in general. Inspiration to keep going even when I am tired and anxious because nursing is what I'm here for. As G says, "find what your makes your heart ache and follow it".

This book made me feel more seen than anything that I have ever heard or read (typing that just gave me shivery dots). To know that there are other canaries out there like Glennon and Tish comforted me so much. The reassurance that there is nothing wrong with me for being an empath and feeling life so deeply was a turning point for me.

As the spawn of two English Lit teachers, I am an underliner by nature. I should've just stopped because nearly the entire book is underlined :). I love that it is a collection of essays. Made it so easy to read one or two during a break or before bed at night.

Glennon, you are a breath of fresh air in a very scary time. I feel like you have taken the yoke off my shoulders hundreds of times over the course of reading this. Your consistent presence for your people is unmatched. You and Abby and your family are a testament to 'doing hard things', a phrase my best friend and I exchange a lot to keep each other going (I sent her a copy).

I will end with this: as G wrote about getting out of the cages that society has put us in, I thought of one of my favorite song lyrics many times. In 'Brave' Sara Bareilles sings "Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live, maybe one of these days you can let the light in, show me how big your brave is". I feel like these two creative contemporaries are lights in the darkness for us right now. Thank you, G, for this gem.

Bottom line: READ IT. Should be required reading for every female in my opinion.

1,516 people found this helpful

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Agnes Costa

PERFEITO

Reviewed in Brazil on October 30, 2023

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Livro incrível em uma edição linda em capa dura. Chegou em perfeito estado :)

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jenn rosales

Muy buen libro

Reviewed in Mexico on October 20, 2023

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Muy buen libro

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Chris

A MUST READ FOR ALL WOMEN

Reviewed in Canada on July 27, 2022

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This is such a fantastic book. It is a great gift idea for women of all ages. I have purchased it for a friend of my daughters that was going through a rough time. I knew this would help and it totally did. She found the strength she needed from this book.

My copy is doggy eared and highlighted everywhere. It is so inspirational and well written. I am a huge fan of Glennon's.

One person found this helpful

Vanessa Urrunaga

One of the best books I’ve read!

Reviewed in Germany on October 9, 2023

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This book is a review of the social standards we’ve grown up with, which have over time impacted how we perceive ourselves and those around us. It’s also a dose of self-love and a reminder to ground ourselves and find our true path, the one that makes our soul happy. I highly recommend it! I loved it and could read it several times over and over again!

Amina R

Best book for 2020 any woman should read!!

Reviewed in France on April 16, 2021

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Arrived safely in France! I love this book, my best of 2020! Each chapter represents a memory of her life full of meaning and with a wonderful life lesson. There is the a love story in the background that keeps you untertained. No matter if you are not gay or if you have no children, like me : this book is mostly about the pressure the society puts to any woman's back, and the key is to listen to yourself only and not filling everybody's expectancies!

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