As a woman who struggles mightily to ask for more pay and power, I’ve read a fair share of books that are meant to help women be more assertive at work. Susannah Baldwin’s Women, Language, and Power stands head and shoulders above the rest for three main reasons:
1) Susannah’s approach is nuanced: As she points out in her book, women absolutely do tend to modify their language (e.g., hedges, an apology, etc.) and make themselves appear weak when it’s not necessary. However, she’s the first author I’ve read who acknowledges that this habit can be a superpower. The problems arise when we modify our language without our conscious awareness and it does more harm than good. However, there are instances where modification can be used intentionally to help us get what we want. Personally, I’ve grown tired of articles and books that badger women for modifying their language at all. While I know modifying language for no reason is an area where I can improve, I also know that sometimes I purposefully soften my language because the situation seems to warrant it. Baldwin validates this tactic; she acknowledges that certain contexts demand modified language. She does not blame or shame women, and I found this so incredibly refreshing. She also offers a simple and clear structure to help women determine when it’s useful to modify language and when it can be a detriment to our goals.
2) Women, Language, and Power is a quick but substantial read: I read the entire book on the better part of a cross-country flight. The book is divided in two parts, each of which is to the point. In Part 1’s 5 chapters, Baldwin lays out what she’s learned from decades of research and coaching experience to justify her three categories that capture how women and women’s language have been constrained through social conditioning. This part, filled with all kinds of interesting research, reads quickly. The research is eye-opening. In learning how culture conditions women and what this conditioning does to our sense of self, how we perceive ourselves in power dynamics, and how we speak is alone empowering. It’s a relief to know that my fear of, say, confrontation is not my fault or due to some inherent shortcoming! Rather, it’s the internalization of messages I’ve gotten from most people in my life and essentially since birth.
3) The book is prescriptive: So often, such books offer up problems but no solutions. Or they simply offer platitudes that feel like nice words of encouragement but aren’t all that helpful. Another common approach I see in books like this is journal exercises. To ask for more money or power at work can feel very scary to women (including to this one). Platitudes and journaling are nice but have never helped me overcome my fear. In Part 2, Baldwin provides a series of templates to think through and script out what you want to say in the manner and with the language that will be most strategically suited to the audience. This is what I have needed—actual tools to structure my thinking and language, not slogans to pump me up for a few seconds. The tools in Part 2 are simple (in the good way) and straightforward to use. I’ve already implanted the Foundational Five—the strategic format women should apply to all important conversations—in my brain, and it’s certainly making me think before I speak. I look forward to putting all of Susannah's tools into practice to regain control of my language and my power.
This is an excellent book. Most women will see themselves in it. I also hope men read it. This is not a book that casts blame on men, either. It objectively looks at our cultural history and encourages readers simply to become aware of how society shapes our language and how we interact. Any men who find their way to this book will also gain an understanding of how tricky it is for women to speak at work, how we are forced to navigate around a lot of land mines. And they can become allies of women in the workplace. They might even learn how to modify their language when being more empathetic and collaborative is a benefit to their careers.
Thank you, Susannah, for writing a book that will surely be a benefit to readers’ careers. And, I suspect, even to their personal relationships.
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Read this to evolve your executive presence
Susannah has coached me on hundreds of presentations, situations, meetings, and high stake sessions. She wrote this book since along with myself, so many executives have asked her to codify her magic. This book is filled with tips, stories and ways of thinking about powerful and impactful communication. Susannah is masterful in helping others identify their key points, turn them into compelling stories and speak then into powerful points of view. This book is for those who may not be able to work 1:1 with Susannah but still want to learn how to speak powerfully about any topic. I recommend this for everyone, no matter where you are in your career.
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Susannah has coached me on hundreds of presentations, situations, meetings, and high stake sessions. She wrote this book since along with myself, so many executives have asked her to codify her magic. This book is filled with tips, stories and ways of thinking about powerful and impactful communication. Susannah is masterful in helping others identify their key points, turn them into compelling stories and speak then into powerful points of view. This book is for those who may not be able to work 1:1 with Susannah but still want to learn how to speak powerfully about any topic. I recommend this for everyone, no matter where you are in your career.
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