*****
This is not a usual book. It is highly unusual, and written in a very unusual way. I gave this book five stars because I think it is important and succeeds in a creative, raw, authentic, and real way. I think that any person who actually reads the book will be moved. The author's style is very emotional, and she writes using lots of anger and crude (but appropriately crude) language in response to what has happened to her. I would encourage any thoughtful person to not dismiss this book because of ignorant (they haven't read the book) comments others have made.
In her style of writing, the author often addresses the reader as "you"; it is a deeply personal book, written directly to the reader, and intended to rouse the reader to action, to encourage them to be brave in their own life. It is a vibrant call to action for both women and men.
The author typically was not listened to, not taken seriously, not respected. For those of us who are female, this may be very familiar to us. She describes how our culture programs us to be pleasant, polite, docile, easily manipulated, and vulnerable to predators--I certainly could relate.
She had a very difficult young life. She was raised in Italy in the Children of God cult. After describing what she went through--some incredibly horrible things--she compares this religious cult to the "cult of Hollywood". It's easy to see the parallels. It causes the reader to thing about how we support Hollywood in unhelpful ways and urges us to be supportive of roles and movies who portray women in ways that are not exploitative. I agree with one reviewer who said that she found "unexpected depth" to this book. I related to so much of what the author wrote and also to the blunt and graphic way she said it.
The author does not name her abusers, although their names are easy to figure out with some familiarity with her story. I think that not naming them is powerful and appropriate. She calls one of her primary abusers "The Monster", which describes his actions well; now all of us know more about who he is and what he did. He has been called to accountability for his actions, so some justice has been done there. Reading the actual description of her assault helps the reader to understand how many people have to be complicit in order for someone like that to operate in a predatory way for years and years. The author calls out those people, encouraging everyone who is complicit in abuse to stop looking the other way in order to benefit personally from the abuser's power and money.
The author was homeless many times, including in the Pacific Northwest after she moved from Italy, and spent many of her teenage years wet and hungry. I live in the PNW and have shelter and a car and food and can only imagine how years of living in the cold rain like this affects a young person. Her father had bipolar illness and she captures the effects this had on her throughout her life so well. One of her kindest boyfriends was murdered. She has a lot of insight into what it felt like to go through so many varied experiences; for those of us who also have been there, these insights will be familiar and poignant. For those of us who have not been there, these insights will be enlightening.
The descriptions of sexual assault and abuse are graphic but not inappropriate. I think our stories need to be told and that it is important for women to speak out about what happened to them. I do think that many, many people will try to silence what this author is saying by name-calling and shaming her. Some people want things to stay the same and for women to stay in their traditional place in this country, which is subservient to men, and they blame women when they are sexually assaulted; they will be understandably angry at this book. Several reviewers have tried to shame the author for being mentally ill and to then diagnose her; they don't understand that shaming people who are mentally ill is no longer okay in our culture and that mentally ill people have a voice as well. If they'd read the book they would have found out that the author admits to being cyclothymic and that she is in treatment for this. People who have a mental illness deserve to write books and be heard as much as anyone else. Seriously, these reviewers should be ashamed of themselves but do not know how to do this, probably.
This book is a justifiably angry one. That doesn't mean it should be avoided. It is now okay for women to be angry when things like this happen to them--and they deserve to be heard. Don't let the haters--the shamers---keep you from reading a UNIQUE VOICE that deserves to be heard; it is beautiful and raw and angry--raging at times--but when the reader listens, they will learn so much.
Highly recommended.
*****
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Reviews with images
So many items in the book where relatable like the feeling of disconnect that you get when you ...
Brave is not for the faint of heart. Yet everyone should read it, as a small victim it moved me to tears! She is remarkable as she survives one event to the next. Unfortunately ms. Mcgowan was born into a cult and was accidentally buy a turn of events transported into another. Seemingly without her will, as a survival mechanism, and that’s all that I will reveal. So many items in the book where relatable like the feeling of disconnect that you get when you are being sexually assaulted. I am so glad that she survived, I don’t know this woman but I feel like I want to give her a hug after reading this book. I couldn’t put it down. I don’t know what to say, just that she will always have my heart because of this book, she will have yours to if you have one. #metoo #nomore #rosearmy
Top reviews from other countries
Sarah Trickey
Thought provoking
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 11, 2024
Sophia
Be brave and read this book, really!
Reviewed in Germany on February 22, 2023