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Spouse in the House: Rearranging Our Attitudes to Make Room for Each Other Paperback – September 21, 2021

by Cynthia Ruchti (Author), Becky Melby (Author)
4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars 36 ratings
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A frank and funny look at what to do when together is too close

Two's company, especially for those who love each other. So what happens when--due to retirement, working from home, or even running a business together--spouses find that being in the same space all the time is awkward, complex, annoying, and just plain challenging? How can partners co-exist without co-exhausting each other?

Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby know all too well how adjusting to a new, all-the-time closeness can cause the bliss of marriage to form blisters. Drawing from their experiences, and from men and women across the country in the same situation, the authors take a deep breath and dive into the root causes of the discomfort. They dig into the ways God's Word addresses the topic, and they offer practical tips for learning the spiritual, emotional, relational, and even physical steps that can help readers replace irritation with peace.

For any Christian who wants their home to be a refuge of peace and serenity for all--not just themselves--and who wants to know they aren't alone in the mental and physical claustrophobia of too much togetherness, Spouse in the House is a vulnerable, charming, and pragmatic breath of hope.
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  1. Print length
    224 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Kregel Publications
  4. Publication date
    September 21, 2021
  5. Dimensions
    5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    0825446783
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0825446788
  8. See all details
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The Amazon Book Review
The Amazon Book Review
Book recommendations, author interviews, editors' picks, and more. Read it now.

From the Publisher

For couples that are beginning to feel their togetherness is too close

working from home

newly married

or in retirement

Shel Harrington: Wit, wisdom, and biblical principles. From newlyweds to long-marrieds.
Pam Farrel: Couples can move from being mad to being madly in love again.
Tammy McLeod: This book is a sheer gift!

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Spouse in the House combines two of my favorite things--practical marriage advice and humor. Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby weave together wit, wisdom, and biblical principles in a relatable way to help everyone from newlyweds to long-marrieds have a marriage that is enriching and joyful. Married for over forty years with a SITH (spouse in the house) of my own, I found myself highlighting insightful tips and doable strategies, chuckling out loud, and nodding in agreement as I made my way through this enjoyable read." -- Shel Harrington, humorist, family law attorney, and author of Over 50, Defined Published On: 2021-06-09

"I just finished Spouse in the House and wrote seventeen pages of application for our marriage of thirty-eight years! I wish I had this book in the early days of my marriage when I struggled to maintain togetherness without losing my individuality. Becky and Cynthia’s authentic stories, as well as the attitude adjustments and practices they suggest, have moved me to action already. What a treat that the authors talk back and forth about common issues in marriage and have their husbands contribute too. This book is a sheer gift!" -- Tammy McLeod, Harvard chaplain and coauthor of Hit Hard Published On: 2021-06-09

“With their incredibly vulnerable, well-researched, and often mirthful writing, Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby provide a timely and timeless resource for anyone who wants to improve their relational life. The wisdom and practicality of Spouse in the House applies to more than just marriage, but to ‘everything God wants to see happen in a church, in the world, . . . in families and couples.’” -- Dr Patrick McLeod, Harvard chaplain and coauthor of Hit Hard Published On: 2021-06-09

“For twenty-three years, my husband and I have shared our work space as we’ve each run a business from home. I’m clear about the challenges our situation creates. Yet Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby’s new book gave me renewed hope that perhaps we’ll both make it out alive―and well. With candid humor, the authors share laugh-out-loud stories, great resources, and tips from a myriad of friends who know the life-sucking potential of all that closeness. Whether you’re living the togetherness dream or anticipating it with dread, don’t miss Spouse in the House!” -- Deb DeArmond, coauthor of Don’t Go to Bed Angry: Stay Up and Fight! Published On: 2021-06-09

“Spouse in the House says it all. With honesty, humor, warmth, and wisdom, Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby share encouragement and practical suggestions for couples sharing the same space 24/7. They remind us that our spouse can’t read our mind, respecting and easing the other’s workload is a gift we can offer each other, and togetherness means more than our bodies being in close proximity. As someone who lives full-time aboard a sailboat with my hubby who works from home, I found this book incredibly insightful.” -- Grace Fox, codirector of International Messengers Canada, author of Finding Hope in Crisis Published On: 2021-06-09

“It’s a rare book whose title makes you grin and whose content keeps you nodding in recognition on almost every page. Spouse in the House is the gift I want to give every couple trying to maintain a healthy relationship while navigating the uncertain terrain of two people coexisting in the same space. With wit and wisdom, Ruchti and Melby share insights from their own experience along with practical guidance on finances, communication, and a host of other issues confronting those who bump up against their spouse every loving day.” -- Maggie Wallem Rowe, author of This Life We Share Published On: 2021-06-09

“I’ve desperately needed this book for at least five years, since my sweet husband retired . . . and settled down at home. For good. We’ve both had to pivot to discover new ways to coordinate a homelife that no longer includes four children and two working parents. Thus, I’m absolutely delighted Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby have gifted those of us in the HHATT (He’s Home All the Time) club with this perky and practical book. With their wise-friend-next-door tone, the authors cover hard topics with grace and mercy. If you’re looking to build greater love and health into your marriage, begin with this fabulous book!” -- Lucinda Secrest McDowell, award-winning author of Soul Strong and Life-Giving Choices Published On: 2021-06-09

“Yes, I have a spouse in the house―or rather on our eight-hundred-square-foot live-aboard boat. And during the pandemic, we lived in a three-hundred-square-foot RV so we could care for my ninety-two-year-old in-laws! All I can say is that the wisdom, advice, common sense, and practical help in this book took a very stressful circumstance and transformed it into an opportunity to dance lovingly with each other instead of dancing around each other. Couples can move from being mad to being madly in love again. And Bill, my HHATT (Husband Home All the Time), is equally grateful!” -- Pam Farrel, codirector of LoveWise,coauthor of Men Are Like Waffles,Women are Like Spaghetti Published On: 2021-06-09

About the Author

Cynthia Ruchti tells stories of hope through novels, nonfiction, devotionals, and speaking events. She serves as the professional relations liaison for American Christian Fiction Writers and is a frequent speaker at writers conferences across the country. She married her grade school sweetheart, and the two live in the heart of Wisconsin, not far from their three children and five grandchildren.

Becky Melby is an author and speaker, with more than twenty books to her name, including four cozy mysteries for Guideposts’ Secrets of Wayfarers Inn series. She makes her home in the heart of Wisconsin with her husband, and is long-time BFF with co-author Cynthia Ruchti. Find out more at beckymelby.com.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Kregel Publications (September 21, 2021)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 224 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0825446783
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0825446788
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars 36 ratings

About the authors

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  1. Becky Melby

    Becky Melby

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    Wisconsin resident Becky Melby is the author of more than 20 titles, including her latest, Candles in the Rain, plus the Lost Sanctuary Series, four books in the Guideposts cozy mystery series Secrets of Wayfarers Inn, and a novella in A Door County Christmas. Married for 48 years, mother of four, grandmother to sixteen, Becky thrives on writing, reading, camping, rides on the back of a silver Gold Wing, and time with family. Connect with her at www.beckymelby.com or Facebook.

    What readers are saying:

    “Melby’s latest time-slip novel will sweep you away with its vivid settings from the plains of Africa to small town Arkansas to a 1960s commune and even more so with the characters’ unforgettable, emotional journey as they discover not only who they really are but who God wants them to be. A powerful story of forgiveness, friendship and faith tested by pain, loss and heartache over decades. A must read for fans of split time fiction.” – Morgan Tarpley Smith, founder of the popular Facebook split time reader group, A Split in Time Fiction Group

    “I have been spoiled by the novels of this author. I hunger for the longer books by Becky Melby. The Lost Sanctuary series is beautifully written with characters who come alive and complex plots that draw you in, teach you history along the way, and leave you knowing you have been the beneficiary of an author who turns language into an art form. If you're looking for excellent novels, at any time of the year, don't miss those!”

    See more on the author's page
  2. Cynthia Ruchti

    Cynthia Ruchti

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    Cynthia Ruchti tells stories hemmed in hope through award-winning novels, novellas, devotionals, nonfiction, and through speaking events for women and writers. She makes potato corn chowder for her husband of more than four decades and loves on her three kids and six grandchildren. Cynthia spent 33 years writing and producing a daily radio broadcast called THE HEARTBEAT OF THE HOME. She is past president of American Christian Fiction Writers, and now serves as ACFW's Professional Relations Liaison, all while working on more book projects in addition to the more than 40 already on the shelves. Her books have been honored with Selah Awards, Christian Retailing's BEST Awards, and Book of the Year awards from Golden Scrolls, as well as finalist or top honors in awards programs such as ACFW's Carol Awards, ForeWord Book Reviews Book of the Year, RT Reviews Book of the Year, Family Fiction's Book of the Year, Cascade Awards Book of the Year, Inspirational Readers' Choice, and the Christy Award, among others. You can connect with her at www.cynthiaruchti.com, at www.facebook.com/cynthiaruchtireaderpage, at www.twitter.com/cynthiaruchti, or in the kitchen, brewing herself another cup of tea.

    See more on the author's page
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Customer reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
4.8 out of 5
36 global ratings
What every couple needs!
5 Stars
What every couple needs!
I have really loved Spouse in the House. It really examines the realities of sharing space with your spouse when they are suddenly home all of the time and so are you. With COVID, retirement, or whatever the reason, the sudden change in logistics can shake even the strongest couple. After all, you each got used to your routines apart and though you love each other, it is possible to get on each other's nerves with such close proximity.This book has made me laugh and has made me think. I am the one who is home more due to our particular circumstances, when he is the one who has been home with his own routines. I haven't seen a lot of warning signs, but this book has been helpful anyway. It has given me much to think about, especially when it comes to perspective and considering your spouse's perspective when it comes to the changes that can happen when you are in the same space.Even more than the proximity thing, this book brings practical advice even when you aren't constantly breathing the same air. It is advice that is good for newlyweds and for couples that have spent decades together. You can always learn something new.I would absolutely recommend this book to those that might feel that their spouse is too close for comfort, or someone that just feels a perspective change is just what you need. Who am I kidding? I would recommend this to every couple with its sage advice and witty humor.I received an early copy through NetGalley and through Kregal and this is my own, honest opinion and I am not always a fan of self-help books.
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Top reviews from the United States

Lisa
5.0 out of 5 stars Important for all about to be retired men and their spouses!
Reviewed in the United States on July 3, 2023
Verified Purchase
With self-deprecating humor and wisdom, Cynthia and Becky give you the “low-down” of how to not only survive with a “spouse in the house”, but to thrive together as you discover how to coexist peacefully.
One person found this helpful
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ramagnes
5.0 out of 5 stars Key for young couples
Reviewed in the United States on September 9, 2023
Verified Purchase
Practical, life-changing marriage advice
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PS
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent condition
Reviewed in the United States on July 22, 2023
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The book was in grezt condition and the shipping was fast.
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Holly Melby
5.0 out of 5 stars Important read even for those of us who have been married for decades!
Reviewed in the United States on December 1, 2021
Verified Purchase
After 23 years of marriage, this book was an excellent reminder that we are always growing and changing both as individuals and as a couple. The stories each author presented were relatable, bringing me back to a similar experience that I've had personally. I love how respectful they both were to their husbands, recognizing that the differences between men and women are actually a good thing and gently encouraging the reader to keep the doors of communication open. Overall, this book was like a marriage refresher that I didn't even know that I needed!
One person found this helpful
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Mac
5.0 out of 5 stars A great book to read for any couple considering retirement and/or working from home.
Reviewed in the United States on September 21, 2021
Verified Purchase
A very fun book to read; so easy to relate to. Authors bring to light the circumstances of retirement that many of us find ourselves in. They suggest tips and tools to apply during too much togetherness. We read this book together and laughed out loud at ourselves. Spouse in the House was am wonderful and refreshing read! Dan & Holly
2 people found this helpful
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Suzie Waltner
4.0 out of 5 stars How to Excel in the He's Home All The Time Club
Reviewed in the United States on October 9, 2021
Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby team up to share positive and constructive strategies for those finding themselves in the HHATT club (that acronym is He’s Home All The Time). And while this book was initially intended to address what happens when a spouse retires and both halves of a couple find themselves in each other’s space more often, the timing of Spouse in the House is providential as people have moved from the office to remote work as the world continues to stare down a global pandemic.

These two authors tag team in each chapter with wisdom, vulnerability, constructive solutions, and moments of humor. Their husbands also get to share some of their thoughts sometimes, too. There is so much information in this book, making one or two of the adjustments in the book is sure to strengthen your relationship when the extra strain of sharing space more frequently.

While I am not at all the demographic for this book (I’m happily single, never been married), there were some takeaways for me in this book when it comes to relationships. Whether it’s a spouse, a roommate, children who have moved back in, or another situation where you’re sharing space with someone a large amount of the time, Spouse in the House challenges readers to lean into love instead of grudges, bitterness, or scorekeeping.

Disclosure statement: I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book and was not required to write a positive review. All opinions are my own.
One person found this helpful
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Mary m
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for all couples
Reviewed in the United States on October 22, 2021
Verified Purchase
Cynthia and Becky share from life and the Bible how we can adapt, adjust, and live together in harmony with our spouse.
Adjustments must be made by both, and their Bills, both husbands, share their points of view as well.
We all can benefit from this book.
2 people found this helpful
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Kindle Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Great relationship tips.
Reviewed in the United States on October 17, 2021
Verified Purchase
I've had a spouse in the house for decades and, frankly, didn't think I had much to learn. I was wrong. I read this book because I'm a fan of the author, but I learned plenty in the process!
2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Wendy L. Macdonald
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious and Helpful
Reviewed in Canada on September 29, 2021
Verified Purchase
Spouse in the House – rearranging our attitudes to make room for each other
By Cynthia Ruchti & Becky Melby

I’ve read a lot of marriage books and none has made me laugh so hard and so long as this one did. It also made me feel less alone in my failures and successes in trying to be the best spouse I can be. These authors share the good, the not-so-good, and the hilarious things wives have done, said, and thought regarding their husbands/marriages. Spouse in the House isn’t a guilt trip, it’s a girlfriend-to-girlfriend chat that inspires us to walk, talk, and live graciously towards our husbands and ourselves.

It’s an invitation and how-to for us to experience more fun, more love, and more peace in our homes.

Thank you, Cynthia and Becky for being so honest about your own struggles and victories. Your book is a blessing to the institution of marriage—a creation of God’s that He longs to bless families and society through. Well done, gracious and talented writers.
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