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Understanding and Loving a Person with Borderline Personality Disorder: Biblical and Practical Wisdom to Build Empathy, Preserve Boundaries, and Show Compassion (The Arterburn Wellness Series) Kindle Edition

by Stephen Arterburn (Author), Robert Wise (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 87 ratings
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This book is for anyone who thought they were good friends with someone, only to be yelled at unexpectedly, for anyone who has a coworker who twists others’ words, or for anyone who has a spouse who is violent and accusatory.
 
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental illness that can make loved ones feel as if it is their fault. Stephen Arterburn and Dr. Robert Wise wants readers to know it’s not their fault and there is hope. In this book, they offer readers advice on how to relate to people with BPD at home, work, and church. Readers don’t need to feel alone any longer. Help is on the way.
 
 
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  1. Part of series
    The Arterburn Wellness
  2. Print length
    178 pages
  3. Language
    English
  4. Sticky notes
    On Kindle Scribe
  5. Publisher
    David C Cook
  6. Publication date
    October 1, 2017
  7. File size
    1729 KB
  8. Page Flip
    Enabled
  9. Word Wise
    Enabled
  10. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
  11. See all details
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Total Price: $49.45
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  3. Understanding and Loving a Person with Post-traumatic Stress Disorder: Biblical and Practical Wisdom to Build Empathy, Preser
  4. Borderline Personality: A Scriptural Perspective (The Gospel for Real Life)
  5. Understanding and Loving a Person with Depression: Biblical and Practical Wisdom to Build Empathy, Preserve Boundaries, and S
  6. Understanding and Loving a Person with Alcohol or Drug Addiction: Biblical and Practical Wisdom to Build Empathy, Preserve Bo
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Stephen Arterburn, M.Ed., is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries and the host of the nationally syndicated Christian counseling talk show New Life Live! heard by over two million people each week on nearly two hundred radio stations nationwide. He is the bestselling author of books such as Every Man’s Battle and Healing Is a Choice. With over eight million books in print, Arterburn has been writing about God’s transformational truth since 1984. His ministry focuses on identifying and compassionately responding to the needs of those seeking healing and restoration through God’s truth.
 
Reverend Robert L. Wise, Ph.D., is an archbishop in the Communion of Evangelical Episcopal Churches. In 2014, Pope Francis appointed Wise to be his Apostolic Representative for Christian Unity. Wise is the author of numerous articles published in multiple languages and thirty-four published books.
 

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B074PJ85YV
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ David C Cook (October 1, 2017)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ October 1, 2017
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 1729 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 178 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 87 ratings

Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
4.3 out of 5
87 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Michele
5.0 out of 5 stars Life changing book!
Reviewed in the United States on December 12, 2017
Verified Purchase
This book is transformative in my life. I am in a very dysfunctional relationship with my older sister who suffers from BPD. I’ve searched for guidance all over the internet and YouTube videos and learned so much about this mental disorder. I learned a lot. Almost all the advice I received was to take care of myself and leave this relationship that is toxic to me. This made perfect sense. But it didn’t feel right to abandon the person who acts out like this as a reaction to her debilitating fear of abandonment. Then I found this book. It explains BPD just like all the other resources I found and also teaches how to take care of myself but it adds a very important ingredient: Love. How to love my sister in spite of her hurtful behavior. It taught me how to love her like Jesus wants me to, unconditionally, AND to love myself too with healthy boundaries. God bless the authors of this book for providing a loving option that is contrary to what the world is offering as advice for these situations.
32 people found this helpful
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The Rebecca Review
4.0 out of 5 stars How to Love Angry People who are Hurting!
Reviewed in the United States on August 10, 2023
Verified Purchase
If you've read a lot of secular books on personality disorders it may be healing to look at things from a spiritual perspective. This book explains how the actions and words of those who are borderline can make you feel frustrated and angry yourself. Still there seems to be a willingness to read more and to provide help to people who are angry and hurting.

Some of the questions this book answers include:

What is the real issue driving the anger borderlines express?
Are borderlines caught up in their child ego?
Why does an "out of control" childhood produce a controlling adult?
Why are borderline people so volatile and angry?
Why can someone be sweet as pie one minute and abusive the next?

I found this book at times to be a little concerning because the author kept saying: "You can do it!" As if dealing with people who are angry is easy and that by loving them they will just magically change. Probably most times counseling is needed or medication. I know I'm a lot less angry, hardly get angry at all since I've been on medication for the past 16 years so I know that is helpful for me at least. Depression can also make a person quite moody. So love like Jesus, but also consider the help of a licensed professional! I am of course not a doctor and this is not medical advice.

I have found that borderlines can shell shock you so that often anxiety takes over and weakens you to the point where you can feel physically disabled and need to lay down and rest because of their words and actions and the insensitive things they say to you like it is no big deal. Like they may tell you they love you one minute and the next that they don't care about you at all! In a romantic relationship or a friendship this can be devastating and take days to recover from.

What is good about the end of this book is that it advises you to figure out what topics are the minefields so you can avoid them in the future. This is excellent advice and it does work. In fact, avoiding talking about triggering things can be part of the healing process. There is also a good section on forgiveness.

I will agree however that dealing with angry people is sure to make you more like Jesus but it could involve a death of the self and I'm not being dramatic. It is very humbling to love someone who does not have your best interest at heart or who doesn't understand their own motivations and emotions. Education and counseling seem necessary for true recovery and to save relationships.

I feel that anyone reading this book should also read "Borderline Personality Disorder" by Judy Dyer. Because that gives details about what to expect and gives a deeper understanding of the disorder.

~The Rebecca Review
3 people found this helpful
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diane
5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful thorough worth reading
Reviewed in the United States on July 5, 2019
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Excellent overview , very helpful. I've read deeper more analytical books on this subject but the authors have done a superb job conveying and bringing understanding to this subject.
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G. Paulk
5.0 out of 5 stars I feel I have a better understanding of this mental disorder and feel I can ...
Reviewed in the United States on December 4, 2017
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I feel I have a better understanding of this mental disorder and feel I can have more empathy in the future. I would recommend for anyone who is looking for information.
3 people found this helpful
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Lisa
5.0 out of 5 stars Quick and good condition
Reviewed in the United States on November 19, 2020
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The book came quickly and was in good condition.
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suzyb1
3.0 out of 5 stars Pretty helpful book
Reviewed in the United States on March 23, 2018
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I was able to glean a few things from this book that will help me in dealing with people with this personality disorder; however, at times I was confused with the writing, and sometimes had trouble following the author’s train of thought. Some of his conclusion points didn’t make much sense compared with the paragraphs proceeding them. Some of the things he shared seemed a bit far-fetched, and not rationally feasible if you are truly stuck in a relationship with someone who has Borderline personality disorder, but I did learn enough to make me glad I read the book.
5 people found this helpful
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K. Reid
4.0 out of 5 stars Good insignt and good support for dealing with these issues
Reviewed in the United States on May 24, 2018
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Gives great insight on how the mind of a person with a personality disorder thinks. Also makes you realize that you are not alone in this and so many others are struggling with these same issues.
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Marie743
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Reviewed in the United States on May 3, 2018
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Very helpful info on this subject
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Top reviews from other countries

MR
1.0 out of 5 stars a highly offensive and disgusting book that only insults people with BPD
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 9, 2018
Verified Purchase
I have BPD and this book is absolute disgusting. It refers to people with BPD as a brat, child-ego, manipulative, controlling, violent, not loveable people, that we make others feel crazy, that our odd behaviours are completely out of order, how people with BPD are a problem... just some things i took from this book amongst a host of other insulting things, there's even mentions of god, the old testament and christian faith, this is a book about BPD, bringing god into it isn't going to do anything, i don't believe in the invisible man in the sky and it has nothing to do with this book either yet the authors clearly think it does.

This book is the kind of book that should never have been allowed to be published, it does nothing but insult people with BPD and will give people a very bad misunderstanding of someone with BPD and will only makes things worse.

If you want to abandon someone with BPD or hate them as much as possible then this book will help you with that it's that disgusting and insulting. It made me feel very angry, depressed and full of guilt.

The authors of this book clearly have not got a real clue or understanding of BPD with there patronising, disgusting insults and views on people with BPD. Full of insults, offensive, scaremongering, stereotyping, stigmatising are just some words to describe this book.. This book makes for a depressing read and is just highly offensive on all levels and i've only have gotten to page 68! and won't be continuing to read it any further.

I would instead recommend 'Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder: How to Keep Out-of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship' by Manning, Shari Y.' as this book on the other hand is much better and goes into great detail without insulting people with BPD and is actually helpful.

If i could give this book 0 stars then i would, I DO NOT recommend anyone buy this vile book as it does nothing to help.
4 people found this helpful
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