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My Lobotomy: A Memoir Kindle Edition

4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 1,925 ratings

In this heartfelt memoir from one of the youngest recipients of the transorbital lobotamy, Howard Dully shares the story of a painfully dysfunctional childhood, a misspent youth, his struggle to claim the life that was taken from him, and his redemption.

At twelve, Howard Dully was guilty of the same crimes as other boys his age: he was moody and messy, rambunctious with his brothers, contrary just to prove a point, and perpetually at odds with his parents. Yet somehow, this normal boy became one of the youngest people on whom Dr. Walter Freeman performed his barbaric transorbital—or ice pick—lobotomy.

Abandoned by his family within a year of the surgery, Howard spent his teen years in mental institutions, his twenties in jail, and his thirties in a bottle. It wasn’t until he was in his forties that Howard began to pull his life together. But even as he began to live the “normal” life he had been denied, Howard struggled with one question: Why?

There were only three people who would know the truth: Freeman, the man who performed the procedure; Lou, his cold and demanding stepmother who brought Howard to the doctor’s attention; and his father, Rodney. Of the three, only Rodney, the man who hadn’t intervened on his son’s behalf, was still living. Time was running out. Stable and happy for the first time in decades, Howard began to search for answers.

Through his research, Howard met other lobotomy patients and their families, talked with one of Freeman’s sons about his father’s controversial life’s work, and confronted Rodney about his complicity. And, in the archive where the doctor’s files are stored, he finally came face to face with the truth.

Revealing what happened to a child no one—not his father, not the medical community, not the state—was willing to protect, My Lobotomy exposes a shameful chapter in the history of the treatment of mental illness. Yet, ultimately, this is a powerful and moving chronicle of the life of one man.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

At age 12, in 1960, Dully received a transorbital or ice pick lobotomy from Dr. Walter Freeman, who invented the procedure, making Dully an unfortunate statistic in medical history—the youngest of the more than 10,000 patients who Freeman lobotomized to cure their supposed mental illness. In this brutally honest memoir, Dully, writing with Fleming (The Ivory Coast), describes how he set out 40 years later to find out why he was lobotomized, since he did not exhibit any signs of mental instability at the time, and why, postoperation, he was bounced between various institutions and then slowly fell into a life of drug and alcohol abuse. His journey—first described in a National Public Radio feature in 2005—finds Dully discovering how deeply he was the victim of an unstable stepmother who systematically abused him and who then convinced his distant father that a lobotomy was the answer to Dully's acting out against her psychic torture. He also investigates the strange career of Freeman—who wasn't a licensed psychiatrist—including early acclaim by the New York Times and cross-country trips hawking the operation from his Lobotomobile. But what is truly stunning is Dully's description of how he gained strength and a sense of self-worth by understanding how both Freeman and his stepmother were victims of their own family tragedies, and how he managed to somehow forgive them for the wreckage they caused in his life. (Sept.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"The lobotomy, although terrible, was not the greatest injury done to him. His greatest misfortune, as his own testimony makes clear, was being raised by parents who could not give him love. The lobotomy, he writes, made him feel like a Frankenstein monster. But that's not quite right. By the age of 12 he already felt that way. It's this that makes My Lobotomy one of the saddest stories you'll ever read."
—William Grimes, The
New York Times

"Dully's tale is a heartbreakingly sad story of a life seriously, tragically interrupted. All Howard Dully wanted was to be normal. His entire life has been a search for normality. He did what he had to do to survive. This book is his legacy, and it is a powerful one."
San Francisco Chronicle

"In My Lobotomy Howard Dully tells more of the story that so many found gripping in a National Public Radio broadcast: how his stepmother joined with a doctor willing to slice into his brain with “ice picks” when he was all of 12 years old."
New York Daily News

"[Dully's] memoir is vital and almost too disturbing to bear-a piece of recent history that reads like science fiction… Dully, the only patient to ever request his file, speaks eloquently. It’s a voice to crash a server, and to break your heart.”
Cleveland Plain Dealer

"The value of the book is in the indomitable spirit Dully displays throughout his grueling saga…By coming to grips with his past and shining a light into the dark corners of his medical records, Dully shows that regardless of what happened to his brain, his heart and soul are ferociously strong.”
Chicago-Sun Times

"Plain-spoken, heart wrenching memoir ..."
San Jose Mercury News

"Gut-wrenching memoir by a man who was lobotomized at the age of 12.

Assisted by journalist/novelist Fleming (
After Havana, 2003, etc.), Dully recounts a family
tragedy whose Sophoclean proportions he could only sketch in his powerful 2005 broadcast on NPR’s
All Things Considered.

“In 1960,” he writes, “I was given a transorbital, or ‘ice pick’ lobotomy. My stepmother arranged it. My father agreed to it. Dr. Walter Freeman, the father of the American lobotomy, told me he was going to do some ‘tests.’ It took ten minutes and cost two hundred dollars.” Fellow doctors called Freeman’s technique barbaric: an ice pick—like instrument was inserted about three inches into each eye socket and twirled to sever connections from the frontal lobe to the rest of the brain. The procedure was intended to help curb a variety of psychoses by muting emotional responses, but sometimes it irreversibly reduced patients to a childlike state or (in 15% of the operations Freeman performed) killed them outright. Dully’s ten-minute “test” did neither, but in some ways it had a far crueler result, since it didn’t end the unruly behavior that had set his stepmother against him to begin with.

“I spent the next forty years in and out of insane asylums, jails, and halfway houses,” he tells us. “I was homeless, alcoholic, and drug-addicted. I was lost.” From all accounts, there was no excuse for the lobotomy. Dully had never been “crazy,” and his (not very) bad behavior sounds like the typical acting-up of a child in desperate need of affection. His stepmother responded with unrelenting abuse and neglect, his father allowed her to demonize his son and never admitted his complicity in the lobotomy; Freeman capitalized on their monumental dysfunction. It’s a tale of epic horror, and while Dully’s courage in telling it inspires awe, readers are left to speculate about what drove supposedly responsible adults to such unconscionable acts.

A profoundly disturbing survivor’s tale."
Kirkus

"...Hard to put down."
The Record

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B000VMHHL2
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Crown (September 4, 2007)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ September 4, 2007
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 2734 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 306 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 1,925 ratings

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Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
4.4 out of 5
1,925 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on January 30, 2024
Howard is an absolutely amazing man. He has to hell and back, many times, and is still able to say honestly that he is not the only victim in his family. He has made a good life for himself, a good respectable life, and is a hard working member of society. He did this himself and should be commended for his strength and ability to become so socially accepted with the lack of parental support and love that surrounded him his entire formative years. That, and the fact that his parents signed their approval for his lobotomy, was absolutely inexcusable! This book shows what true determination and self worth can truly mean to someone who believes no-one cares about them. Howard Dully is a great man, I wish I could meet him one day and shake his hand. I'd tell him how sorry I am that he was treated so unfairly by those who should have protected and loved him the most.
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Reviewed in the United States on September 10, 2017
I want to start out by saying that “My Lobotomy” was a very difficult book to read, not because of the writing or editing but because of the subject matter. Everything talked about in this book actually happened. This book at times made me want to cry or to shout at the parents of Howard Dully demanding to know how they could put a child through everything that happened to him. I had to often set the book down for a bit and come back to it later. It was a very emotional experience. If what Howard went through as a child were experienced by someone his age today, that child would have been taken away by Child Protective Services.

Howard’s mother died when he was 5 years old. That was where his normal, happy childhood ended. His father was working multiple jobs trying to make ends meet and remarried a woman by the name of Lou who had sons of her own from a previous marriage. She clearly favored them over her new step-children Oddly, this was mostly taken out on Howard and not his brother. No matter what Howard did, he seemed to get punished for it. Generally Lou would spank the boy, then have his father continue the punishment when he got home from working. Nothing Howard ever did was right or good enough for her. Now that isn’t to say he didn’t misbehave, but his behavior certainly wasn’t any worse than that of other children his age.

At some point, Lou sought the advice of no less than 6 psychiatrists as to what was wrong with the boy. Each of them, after listening to her, told her in no uncertain terms that there was nothing wrong with Howard, but that the problem lay with her and thought that she could benefit from therapy. Each time that happened, she would seek the help of another doctor to try and solve the problem of her stepson. That all changed when she met Dr. Freeman.

Dr. Freeman performed hundreds of lobotomies over the course of his career. He believed it cured all sorts of mental problems, from anxiety or depression to emotional problems such as anger or rage. After meeting with Lou several times and hearing about Howards emotional problems, he diagnosed Howard as schizophrenic and suggested that an “icepick” lobotomy could cure him. Howard had just turned 12 when the procedure was performed on him.

Howard was one of the fortunate few who survived the procedure with relatively few side effects, but his home life did not improve. Lou did not want him around and eventually got Dr. Freeman to agree that the boy would be better off elsewhere. Howard spent time in halfway houses and other homes before that option was unavailable to his family.

Over the years Howard spent time in an insane asylum, in juvenile detention centers, homeless, in jail, and in just about any situation you can imagine. Eventually, he met a woman he fell in love with and after they both got completely off of drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes, they were married. He continued to have ups and downs in his life, but for the most part his life improved. He found and held a stable job and also had a happy family of his own. He was one of the lucky ones who survived having had a lobotomy at some point in their lives. Yet still one thing haunted him... Why had it been done to him?

There is so much more to his story. I won’t tell you the rest of it as you may want to read it for yourself. I have only included the barest of details in this review. As I said above, this was a very difficult book for me to read. My own child is the same age as Howard was when the (in my opinion unnecessary) lobotomy was performed on him. I couldn’t help but compare my own child’s worst day to his, and still believe he was simply a normal boy who was too often and too harshly punished. He was a just a normal pre-teen who deserved far better than he received.

The book continues to tell about Howard’s life well into his 50s. If you are at all curious about him or what happened to him, you should take a look at it. The book was told from his perspective, as well as having been written by him. While it is a very emotional read, he did live an extraordinary life despite everything he went through. While I may have had to put it down a few times, I also had to pick it back up again each time so that I could find out how it ended. I just couldn’t give up on the book without knowing how it all turned out.
22 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on April 3, 2012
I had heard this book mentioned in a psychology course I took a few years back and was intrigued. The idea that a twelve-year old boy could be given a lobotomy in the first place appalled me and made me curious to hear his story, but then to be told there was no legitimate reason for it to be performed was even more compelling. It took until last week to buy the e-book, but I'm incredibly glad that I did.

I will begin by saying I am likely biased in Mr. Sully's favour and my experiences in life have certainly coloured my view of this book. I grew up with a mother who was abusive both mentally/emotionally and physically and my father was at work too often to either know what was happening or investigate when I would tell him anything. Had I lived in Dr. Freeman's heyday, this story could have been me.

This book covers Mr. Dully's early life before his step-mother arranged for his lobotomy and follows him to the point of the NPR broadcast about his experience to the publishing of this book. As the description implies, he had a rather wild and checkered life. He was often in trouble with the law and had problems with drugs and alcohol. This book does NOT become a chronicle of his wild behaviour. It does go into some of his exploits, but it is rather a matter-of-fact statement rather than a sensational retelling. He was able to walk away from it all. He is married and has essentially two children. (One is a step-son from a former marriage.)

I love the writing style of this book. Some say it is simplistic and it is in a sense. It isn't filled with flowery language, but it doesn't need to be to keep bone's interest. The story speaks for itself and draws you in. I sat in the food court of a mall for an unknown amount of time unable to draw myself out of its spell. Ive seen a lot of people in these reviews make a subtle insinuation that his mind was damaged by the lobotomy and thus he was unable to write as well as he could have otherwise (shame on all of you who think that.) But this man is clearly intelligent. In the book he talks about being able to understand how engines work in trains and cars. This is no simpleton. He found it difficult to get work in the computer field and so decided to drive buses. This wasn't because he was unqualified to do anything else, but it was work he enjoyed.

Towards the end of the book when he goes into the work involved in putting together the NPR broadcast, I couldn't help but cry. It ripped my very soul to feel what he went through while interviewing bis father, who refused to accept any blame for what happened. He blamed everyone else involved but himself.

Some people have mentioned that he seems not to accept any responsibility for his behaviour. Some have mentioned that this is only one side of the story. As far as it only being one side of the story, the step-mother in question is dead, but Dully's father refuted one of the worst claims made against young Howard and there are notes from Dr. Freeman that seem to suggest that up u tip a certain point, he was thought to be a normal boy. There is also the fact that several others have said his step-mother was shopping doctors trying to find one who would side with her before she found Freeman. All of the previous doctors had said that the step-mother was the problem. That seems to support the theory presented. As for his behaviour, this procedure was intended to change personality, but in doing so I suspect it also can have an effect on how someone perceives right and wrong or perhaps create a disconnect between knowing and doing what's right. Severing the connections between the two halves of the brain could cause so many emotional and moral problems. This man is fortunate to be alive and a productive human being.

Bottom line: this is an amazing look at how a man turned his life around. It brought me to tears and it is a book anyone should read.
19 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Ícaro de Souza
4.0 out of 5 stars A good historical record.
Reviewed in Brazil on January 13, 2023
The author isn't a professional writer in any capacity, and you can tell through the writing. It's very long-winded and the author goes into a lot of circles before getting to the point, sometimes to the point of being a little exhaustive.
But, the author's skills as a writer don't matter at all, compared to the rich historical record, in the shape of a living person, that he brings to the table. Lobotomies rarely leave people capable of doing the most basic tasks, let alone care for themselves. Yet, he survived - and the aftermath was horrible, and now he's seeking answers for all of this. This book is a wonderful resource if you want to understand the gruesome story behind psychiatry and why it failed, and continues to fail, patients around the world and more often than not, acts as a tool of violence against the most vulnerable of people.
Bronwen Williams
5.0 out of 5 stars Well-written and shocking account of a mother's baseless hatred.
Reviewed in Canada on August 9, 2017
Well-written and shocking account of a mother's baseless hatred for her stepson and the awful things she did to try and get rid of him. This poor fellow went through hell for the rest of his life, only getting some peace at the end. Very interesting account of the "mental illness treatment system" and institutes etc. I recommend it.
Lucinda Elliott
5.0 out of 5 stars Very good read. Fascinating look into attitudes towards mental health
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 26, 2017
Harrowing. Very good read. Fascinating look into attitudes towards mental health, abuse, and the aftereffects.
Kribu
5.0 out of 5 stars Spannend berührend
Reviewed in Germany on January 26, 2014
Spannend und berührend. Wollte es ursprünglich auf deutsch haben, gibt es aber nicht. So habe ich meine Englischkenntnisse wieder aufgefrischt. Das Buch ist sehr verständlich geschrieben, ist auch mit Basic Englisch zu schaffen.
3 people found this helpful
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Suzanne Greenwood
4.0 out of 5 stars Why ,How?
Reviewed in Australia on January 14, 2015
How can two people be allowed to do this to a child.....all the systems were wrong.....don't think much better now with all these children on ADHD drugs...we need to find out why and stop blaming the child....
Well written easy to read boy.
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