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Homosexuality and the Christian: A Guide for Parents, Pastors, and Friends Kindle Edition

4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 195 ratings

Mark Yarhouse gives honest and accurate answers to parents and pastors who have questions about homosexuality. Throughout the book, the author uses a new framework for understanding the issue, carefully separating the concept of "same sex attraction" from a "gay identity." In a clear and compassionate style, he explains the research regarding what causes same-sex attraction and whether or not it can be overcome. He also discusses what Christians can do when someone they know opens up to them about their homosexual attractions.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Yarhouse challenges the church to provide an alternative script, one that makes identity in Christ central, and therefore carefully distinguishes between temptation, behavior, and the center of one's identity. By taking into consideration those with same-sex attraction who nevertheless reject the gay identity, Yarhouse shifts the conversation from the causes of homosexuality to the choices one makes regarding the will of God. --Christianity Today

About the Author

Mark Yarhouse is the Dr. Arthur P. and Mrs. Jean May Rech Professor of Psychology at Wheaton College, where he also directs the Sexual & Gender Identity Institute. An award-winning teacher, psychologist, and researcher, Dr. Yarhouse has authored numerous books and articles, including the featured white paper on sexual identity for the Gospel Coalition's Christ on Campus Initiative. He lives in Winfield, Illinois.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B005UEXFSA
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Bethany House Publishers (September 1, 2010)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ September 1, 2010
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 985 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 242 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 195 ratings

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Mark A. Yarhouse
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Mark Yarhouse is the Dr. Arthur P. Rech & Mrs. Jean May Rech Professor of Psychology at Wheaton College, where he directs the Sexual & Gender Identity (SGI) institute (wheaton.edu/sgi).

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
195 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book informative and insightful. They appreciate the good research and explanations of various perspectives. The book is well-written and easy to read, making it a must-read for those in ministry or working with parents or teens.

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26 customers mention "Enlightened content"26 positive0 negative

Customers find the book informative and insightful. They appreciate the good research and explanation of various situations. The book is a great resource for helping different groups. Readers describe it as authoritative and a must-read from a conservative Christian perspective.

"The book is very informative for those that don’t understand different definitions of gender and gender attraction...." Read more

"...It’s a great resource, but I will find it hard to read again." Read more

"...This book helps to navigate those feelings and issues." Read more

"...parents, pastors and friends the background and tools needed to have open and loving discussions with people struggling with same-sex attraction...." Read more

18 customers mention "Readability"18 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and reasonably written. They say it's a must-read for those in ministry or working with parents or teens. The examples from the author's experience are helpful. Readers appreciate the compassionate and fair writing style.

"...It is an easy read with Christian focus. I enjoyed it and highly recommend it." Read more

"I liked that the writer was very careful not to offend anyone. This book will help anyone struggling with anything to do with sexuality or gender...." Read more

"It was a good read. Especially if you’re someone who is going to be dealing with the issue of homosexuality in the context of Christianity...." Read more

"Whether or not one calls themselves a Christian, this is a very thought provoking book dealing with an extremely volatile topic which has divided..." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on July 10, 2024
    The book is very informative for those that don’t understand different definitions of gender and gender attraction. The author provides first hand experience of talking points and suggestions to handle different situations. It is an easy read with Christian focus. I enjoyed it and highly recommend it.
  • Reviewed in the United States on July 7, 2019
    I liked that the writer was very careful not to offend anyone. This book will help anyone struggling with anything to do with sexuality or gender. It will also help anyone who just doesn't understand the conflict of those struggling. It really sheds light onto the whole matter and makes you realize that there is no black and white, there are just many, many shades in between, which the LGBT community tries to make everything just black or just white. We've got to take away the labels. There's so many people who are mislabeled because society wants to label them. If someone is attracted to the opposite sex, it doesn't automatically mean they are gay, nor does it mean they have to live a gay lifestyle.
    7 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on October 22, 2021
    It was a good read. Especially if you’re someone who is going to be dealing with the issue of homosexuality in the context of Christianity. I found it a little hard to read because it was a little emotionless and too far removed from conversational. It’s a great resource, but I will find it hard to read again.
  • Reviewed in the United States on August 10, 2013
    Whether or not one calls themselves a Christian, this is a very thought provoking book dealing with an extremely volatile topic which has divided families and friends, no more so than in our current times. If only people on both sides of the issue could set aside the need for absolute alignment and see that there is so much more to a person than the sexual side; such as character, values, interests, etc to name a few. No one on either side wants to have another's views forced upon them. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree and pick those things in which you have commonality and decide if the relationship is important or not. If it is important, then grace needs to be lavishly extended to one another. If it isn't important, then don't waste further time debating which will only further ill will. This book helps to navigate those feelings and issues.
    10 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on April 12, 2013
    As a researcher and psychologist, one of Dr. Yarhouse's greatest contributions to any discussion about same-sex attractions is his ability to communicate with and challenge the Christian faith community. He addresses the usual topics most people are interested in (what causes homosexuality?, can someone change sexual orientation?, how should I respond if someone I love announces a gay identity?, etc.).

    But he also emphasizes two points I think too many people overlook:
    (1) A discussion about sexual identity can be more constructive than the narrow (and often divisive) debates about what causes sexual orientation and whether it could be changed.
    (2) Rather than being marginalized by the church, the sexual minority Christian should be embraced as a valuable member of his or her spiritual community.

    I believe the following three quotes are representative of the tone and approach you will find in this book . . .
    "The church doesn't lead with the thought and attitude that Christians who struggle with homosexuality are our people." But it should. - page 157
    "Questions about causation and change are important" but "the traditional Christian sexual ethic does not hinge on the causes of sexual attraction or orientation." And "the gospel does not hinge on whether people can experience change of sexual orientation." - pages 163 - 164, 182
    "When churches value being single not as a stage to 'get through' but as a good state to be in, they can provide a place that is valued and meaningful to the Christian who is also a sexual minority." - page 173
    29 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on December 6, 2015
    I have not completed my reading of this book. As one would expect, since the author's expertise is in the area of psychology, it appears from what I have read and the table of contents that he does not attempt to comment on any specific passages in the Bible. He does is convinced that ssa in people is caused by more than one cause. The book is easy to read with examples from his experience. Perhaps it should have four stars.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on December 16, 2017
    I think one of the most difficult of this current cultural climate is that homosexuality seems to be an off-limits topics for heterosexual Christians. From my experience, heterosexual Christians have a difficult time speaking on the topic of homosexuality, and yet there is an urgent need for discussions to take place on all sides. There are three parts to this book, that give parents, pastors and friends the background and tools needed to have open and loving discussions with people struggling with same-sex attraction. It is a must read for anyone in the ministry or those who work with parents or teens.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on May 12, 2014
    This book gave me new language to be in relationship with our gay daughter. I wish that I had it during those critical teen years that Yarhouse discusses. Still, I have a greater understanding of the struggles she went through as she sorted out her own desires. During her college years, she shaped her identity and behavior based on the scripts of others. It hasn't shaped our script that we love her, however how helpful it would have been to give her another choice to consider. Perhaps my wife and I will have better insights to share with our grandchildren or others in the church. I certainly will pass this along to our youth minister and our preaching minister, perhaps our elders. No, instead I will buy each of them a copy.
    7 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Gracia
    5.0 out of 5 stars This is a book allows for meaningful and respectful discussion to occur and for those who have loved ones experiencing same-sex
    Reviewed in Canada on May 18, 2015
    Differentiates between sexual attractions, sexual identity and sexual behaviour. Very helpful and also respectfully written in addressing an issue that has become politically charged and polarized to the point where thoughtful discussion is curtailed. This is a book allows for meaningful and respectful discussion to occur and for those who have loved ones experiencing same-sex attractions to be understanding and supportive in their journey with them.

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