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The Introvert Advantage: How Quiet People Can Thrive in an Extrovert World Kindle Edition

4.5 out of 5 stars 1,582 ratings

An insightful, empowering guide to making the most of your hidden strengths.
 
Are you energized by spending time alone? In meetings, do you need to be asked for your opinions and ideas? Do you tend to notice details that other people miss? Is your ideal celebration a small get-together rather than a big party? Do you often feel like a tortoise surrounded by hares?

The good news is, you’re an introvert. The better news is that by celebrating the inner strengths and uniqueness of being introverted,
The Introvert Advantage shows introverts how to work with instead of against their temperament to enjoy a well-lived life. Covering relationships, parenting—including parenting an introverted child—socializing, and the workplace, here are coping strategies, tactics for managing energy, and hundreds of valuable tips for not only surviving but truly thriving in an extrovert world.
 
“Filled with Aha! moments of recognition, Dr. Laney’s book will help millions of introverts understand why they are misunderstood, learn to appreciate who they are, and develop a just-right life in a world where extroverts once ruled.” —Paul D. Tieger, coauthor of
Do What You Are

“In a world of shock jocks, screaming rock stars, and sensational journalism, this book dispels the myth that only the loud and flamboyant get ahead. Its clear, step-by-step advice will help introverts recognize and capitalize on their unique strengths.” —Dr. Bernardo J. Carducci, author of
Shyness: A Bold New Approach

 

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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Tamara Marston’s narration makes the material relatable and informative. . . . [She] is able to identify with her audience, making her reading all the more effective and intimate. The result is a helpful, enlightening, and entertaining listen.”
Publishers Weekly

About the Author

Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D., is a researcher, educator, author, and psychotherapist. One of America’s foremost authorities on introversion, she speaks and leads workshops on the topic in the United States and Canada. She and her extroverted husband have two grown daughters and four grandchildren. They live in Portland, Oregon.

TAMARA MARSTON has been an actor, singer and director for over 30 years. A career performer / musician, Tami has toured nationally with several groups and appeared on
The Arsenio Hall Show and A&E’s Goodtime Café. Dividing her time between acting and singing gigs, choral conducting, music and stage directing, jingle and voiceover work, private and public teaching—and family—Tami feels very fortunate to make her living working in the arts.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B006VUIDIY
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Workman Publishing Company (February 1, 2002)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ February 1, 2002
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 2.0 MB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 337 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 out of 5 stars 1,582 ratings

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Marti Olsen Laney
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Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D., is a researcher, educator, author, and psychotherapist. One of America's foremost authorities on introversion, she speaks and leads workshops on the topic in the United States and Canada. She and her extroverted husband have two grown daughters and four grandchildren. They live in Portland, Oregon.

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
1,582 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find this book a good read for introverts, praising its respectful explanation of extroverts and many valuable tips. Moreover, the information quality receives positive feedback, with one customer noting its serious approach with references to actual research. Additionally, customers appreciate the writing quality, with one describing it as "exquisitely written." The book helps customers understand themselves and others, alleviates feelings of guilt, and customers consider it well worth the price. However, some customers find the book repetitive at times.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

293 customers mention "Readability"277 positive16 negative

Customers find the book highly readable, particularly praising its respectful approach to explaining extroverts and its focus on the unique features of introverts.

"...a way to cope," Dr. Laney helps without being patronizing, overly simple or indulgent, and she is very thorough in her suggestions for even those..." Read more

"...This book would be a good read for any introvert wanting to learn more about their personality as well as extroverts who want to understand how..." Read more

"...The book is an easy read/not highbrow...." Read more

"...This book gives a very readable understanding of the "introvert" as well as the "extrovert"...." Read more

229 customers mention "Information quality"220 positive9 negative

Customers find the book provides great insights and many valuable tips, helping them understand themselves and others better.

"...You will feel vindicated and validated as Dr. Laney dispels myths and misconceptions, such as being shy, antisocial, being a self-absorbed loner,..." Read more

"...There are sections for handling relationships, parenting, friendships, and jobs which I found helpful since I can go back and read a section that I..." Read more

"...As she writes about, we have distinct differences biochemically and physically from extroverts...." Read more

"...Couples should also read this as it will give great enlightenment to their relationship if the two are opposites with one being an introvert and..." Read more

13 customers mention "Writing quality"13 positive0 negative

Customers praise the writing quality of the book, describing it as amazing, with one customer noting its exquisite style and another mentioning its eye-catching blue text.

"I already have another book on being an introvert; but this one looked very good, so I ordered it, to add to my library...." Read more

"...I recommend this book for anyone. It is amazing and helpful to understand a little more of why people act the way they do and how to work or live..." Read more

"...The book is designed so that you don't have to read the chapters in order, and it also provides some great tips on navigating relationships and..." Read more

"...the author has given me freedom to revel in how God created me, pretty dadgum neat!!!" Read more

11 customers mention "Tone"11 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's tone, with one mentioning it has alleviated lingering guilt, while another notes it provides possible solutions for surviving the breakneck pace of modern life.

"...The book has alleviated lingering guilt about why I didn't enjoy the same things as my husband and some of my friends...." Read more

"...It is well grounded in research, but also very positive in it's tone...." Read more

"...common personality quirks of introverts and provides possible solutions for surviving the breakneck pace of...well, this extroverted world we live..." Read more

"This book changed my life. The view of that I have of myself is so much more positive and I don't struggle as much with feeling that I have to meet..." Read more

10 customers mention "Value for money"10 positive0 negative

Customers find the book well worth the money, with one mentioning it serves as a quick reference.

"...It's going on the shelf as a keeper. It has some value as a quick reference, but it's not an influential volume for me...." Read more

"...to get this book deeply discounted through Amazon, and it was well worth every penny to me...." Read more

"...Readable, enjoyable, enlightening, uplifting, and definitely valuable." Read more

"Unbelievable packing!! Quick delivery. Great price. Super seller!! Highly highly recommend!! Thank you!" Read more

14 customers mention "Recomposition"0 positive14 negative

Customers find the book repetitive, with one mentioning that it overdoes simple ideas.

"...Very disappointing, strike one. Next, the book is very choppy and not a very organized or cohesive reading experience...." Read more

"I enjoyed reading this book, although at times it seemed a little repetitive...." Read more

"I enjoyed this book, though at times I found it repetitive and could see where some passages could easily be read as condescending...." Read more

"...aspects of introversion/extroversion, but overall I think it is a little repetitive and that it paints a picture of introverts being constantly at..." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on May 7, 2006
    Do you often think of something you should have said after the opportunity has passed? Are others often surprised, finding you to be smarter than they first thought? Has anyone ever said you momentarily looked as if you were in a different world? Do you notice the small details others don't see or many sides of an issue? If so, you may be part of the 20% population known as an "introvert" personality type. (Although I suspect there may actually be more than 20% who have been conditioned by our predominantly extroverted orientated society to fit themselves within the extrovert range of the continuum.)

    If you are an introvert (and there is a test within this book to find out), you will find your qualities celebrated and appreciated. You will feel vindicated and validated as Dr. Laney dispels myths and misconceptions, such as being shy, antisocial, being a self-absorbed loner, reclusive, retiring, and the myriad of other distortions society (including introverts themselves) may have about introvertism.

    The main difference between an introvert and an extrovert is in how the two types gain their energy. Introverts focus inward to gain energy and become drained of energy from external sources. Extroverts must draw their energy from outward sources and become drained when they are alone. With their focus outside of themselves, extroverts like to experience a wide variety of stimuli, knowledge and experiences, whereas an introvert enjoys a more in-depth focus. Extroverts take in information but don't process it or expand it. When introverts take in information, they feel a need to reflect on it and expand it for depth, delving deeply for richness. Although extroverts may judge themselves in the light of the values and reality of others, an introvert is not at the mercy of such external environment. Introverts are independent thinkers and idle chit-chat can drain their energy, giving nothing in return. Because extroverts don't generate as much internal stimulation as introverts, they must get it from external sources. Introverts need fewer relationships than extroverts but they like more connection and intimacy within their relationships.

    Some of the other hallmark traits of introverts are: conscientiousness, good listeners, having the ability to think outside the box, ability to persistently focus well for long periods of time, to notice details others miss, ability to take all sides of an issue into account and being creative in imaginative ways.

    With at least 60% of the intellectually gifted identified as introverted, there is a definite correlation between introversion and intelligence. The example of Einstein's earliest education proves that a harsh environment can impair an introvert and undercut their potential. Introverts can access their talents, like the ability to concentrate and question, only in a fitting environment. And as Dr. Laney also points out, "Unless they can reduce outside stimulation, their inner thoughts, feelings, and impressions will never bubble up to the surface."

    One chapter of "The Introvert Advantage" features a fascinating study of brain research and mapping results. Blood travels along different pathways of the brain between introverts and extroverts and the dominant neurotransmitters used are different as well.

    Other chapters are written about relationships and the pros and cons of the paired combinations of introverts and extroverts, children and their identifiable differences and strategies for helping them succeed, as well as all sorts of tips, tactics and methods for helping yourself nurture this special personality to your fullest advantage.

    True to form with this statement, "The trick is to help them understand themselves without developing avoidance as a way to cope," Dr. Laney helps without being patronizing, overly simple or indulgent, and she is very thorough in her suggestions for even those most introverted along the spectrum.

    Although anyone can benefit from reading "The Introvert Advantage: How To Thrive (not "Survive" but "Thrive", mind you) In An Extrovert World" by Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D., I consider it a must-read for any in counseling or teaching positions.

    Bravo and thank you, Dr. Laney, for such a thorough and wonderful book!
    38 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on January 9, 2016
    Up until a few years ago, I never really thought much about the idea that people are either introverts or extroverts. Of course, I noticed that some people are more outgoing than others but I never really considered why exactly that is. Now that I am in my mid 30s and raising a family, I am examining my personality more and thinking about why I am the way I am. When my husband and I started talking about it, we discovered we are both introverts and suddenly, everything made sense! That would explain why I disliked group projects in school so much and why I would dread giving speeches in class. I started becoming more interested in learning about the differences between introverts and extroverts and came upon this book. Let me point out that I have never read other books on introverts so I don't have any others to compare it to. However, I decided the reviews looked good and I should try to branch out of my normal preference for fiction novels so I purchased this book.

    One of the most interesting facts I immediately picked up in this book is that 75% of people are extroverts which means only 25% are introverts. It makes sense then why so many of our daily activities are more extrovert-centered and why introverts may think something is wrong with them. The truth is, there is nothing wrong with introverts. This book helps to explain that the brains of introverts and extroverts are different and thus, we process everything at different speeds and different ways. While I was reading this book, I could picture some of my friends and family who fit the personality traits of those mentioned in the book and it made it easier for me to understand the information presented.

    I like how the book is organized, even though at times some of the information seemed a bit daunting. The book is organized in three parts and within those three parts are a total of ten chapters. The book starts about by defining the ways in which introverts differ from extroverts then goes on to discuss ways in which we can thrive in the "outie" (extrovert) world but at the same time still be ourselves. There are sections for handling relationships, parenting, friendships, and jobs which I found helpful since I can go back and read a section that I feel is particularly useful to me. I enjoyed the author's occasional humor inserted into the book which added a little bit of zest for me. In the beginning the author states that you can read the book cover to cover or skip around and read whichever sections sound appealing. I chose to read the entire book and, because I am used to reading fiction novels from cover to cover, I didn't anticipate just how much information I would be taking in all at once with more of a self-help type of book. It probably would have been more beneficial to me to read a chapter here and there so I could have more time to process all of the interesting information. I will most likely just go back and reread the sections I want to review.

    Overall, I found this book to be a good resource so I can understand more about myself and how I can tweak certain things I do in order to still enjoy social activities and thrive out in the world without having to exhaust my energy constantly. This book would be a good read for any introvert wanting to learn more about their personality as well as extroverts who want to understand how introverts work. It certainly helped me to understand personalities a bit more and how I can interact with extroverts and still enjoy my own activities. I'm proud to be an introvert!
    61 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • Alexandre Nuernberg
    5.0 out of 5 stars Very good book, shows clearly de difference between introverts and extroverts
    Reviewed in Brazil on June 8, 2015
    This book explains clearly the differences between the different kind of personalities, introverts and extroverts and its variations, right and left brain sides.
    It explains why people act differently, and why some people have facility in express themselves, talk in a more confident way and others are more quiet and don't express themselves or have a "blank" situation during conversations where they lost the line of reasoning and don't know why.
    One important thing too is that it shows that most of the introverts doesn't have knowledge of the differences, they don't know themselves and think that they have some kind of problem and considers the extroverts type as the normal ones.

    It is a very good book to start understanding the differences between people personalities kinds. And for the introverts start to understand themselves.
  • Victoria
    5.0 out of 5 stars Mein neues Lieblingsbuch
    Reviewed in Germany on August 28, 2014
    Mir wurde vor einiger Zeit dieses Buch von jemandem empfohlen, der es selbst gelesen hat und meinte, dass meine Einstellung über mich selbst sehr negativ ist. Ich war fasziniert davon, wie er so selbstsicher mit seinen introvertierten Eigenschaften umgeht und nachdem ich dieses Buch gelesen hab, verstehe ich ihn um einiges besser.
    Das Buch hat mir Mut gemacht, meine Einstellungen gegenüber vielen Dingen geändert und mir gezeigt, dass es völlig normal ist, wie ich mich in manchen Situationen verhalte.

    Wenn ich das Buch beschreiben müsste, würde ich sagen, dass es eine Bedienungsanleitung für mein Gehirn oder mein Verhalten ist. Ich kann nicht sagen, ob sich jeder introvertierte Mensch so gut beschrieben fühlt in diesem Buch wie ich, aber bei mir hat es den Nagel auf den Kopf getroffen und so viele unverständliche Dinge in meinem Verhalten erklärt.
    Was mir daran hilft, ist dass ich besser verstehe, wie ich mich in bestimmen Situationen verhalte, damit mir Dinge leichter fallen und ich nicht das ständige schlimme Gefühl habe, mich anpassen zu müssen.

    Mein Englisch ist zwar sehr gut und ich lese häufig englische Bücher, allerdings war ich mir unsicher, ob ich nicht Probleme bei diesem Buch haben würde, weil mir vielleicht das passende Vokabular fehlt. Ich merke aber schnell, dass sich das Buch super lesen lässt und angenehm zu lesen ist! Es ist weder zu kompliziert noch langweilig!

    Vielleicht auch ein sehr gutes Buch für jeden, der nicht ganz versteht, wieso manche "stillere" Menschen so sind wie sie sind.
    Report
  • Bernie2111
    5.0 out of 5 stars Introvert and proud to be
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 10, 2013
    I recently placed a request for 4 books on the subject about Introverts and I am really impressed because the Authors have researched this personality trait thoroughly and all books introduced me to new revelations. Marti Olsen Laney's book is enjoyable and provides further insight to Introversion in an A to Z fashion including physiological diagram and descriptions on multifaceted creative aspects of the brain that introverts share. I quite liked the chapter that teaches extroverts all about out how and why we are introvert and more important, how we can work together in working, social and close relationships. Laney's book also provides Extroverts/ Introverts workable solutions, when things don't work out from an interpersonal perspective so we can learn to live to some extent together while respecting each others space.
    Five out of five marks. An ideal reading companion to the marriage guidance councillor and employee assistance provider as an aid to conflict resolution.
  • Laura
    5.0 out of 5 stars Très utile
    Reviewed in France on January 19, 2015
    Parfait pour ceux qui souhaitent comprendre les différences entre introvertis et extravertis, et comment vivre dans notre société tout en étant dans la première catégorie.
    Les conseils pour "survivre en soirée" et autres événements sociaux sont extrêmement utiles.
  • Nola
    5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome Book
    Reviewed in Canada on January 12, 2013
    This is an excellent book. I've recommended it to many of my clients – some of them have since purchased the book. It is great to give to introverted clients that have self-esteem and/or anxiety issues, as it helps them realize that there is a valid reason for the ways in which they interact in the world. For couples that are on opposite extremes, it helps them to understand the other person's core temperaments, so they can accept these differences more easily. Every client I've recommended it to has found something of value in the book.

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