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Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow Kindle Edition

4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars 227 ratings

The world is full of hurt children, and bringing one into your home can quickly derail the easy family life you once knew. Get effective suggestions, wisdom, and advice to parent the hurt child in your life. The best hope for tragedy prevention is knowledge! Updated and revised.
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Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

In this sequel to their Adopting the Hurt Child (1998), Keck and Kupecky explore how parents can help adopted or foster children who have suffered neglect or abuse. They begin by outlining changes in adoption and fostering procedures in recent years and use case studies to document the friction and disruption introduced into a household when a hurt, adopted child is brought into the family. The authors examine attachment disorders and control issues as well as parenting techniques that work (praise, consistency, flexibility, anger management) and those that don't work (punishment, withholding parental love, grounding, time-outs, deprivation). They highlight the symptoms of abuse and options for therapy. Foster or adoptive parents need to claim the role of parent in the child's life, the authors advise, suggesting ways to deal with teachers and other authority figures in the child's life. The book includes a variety of resources on, among other topics, finance, therapy for siblings and parents, cultural differences, and marriage counseling. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

From the Inside Flap

Your Hurt Child Can Heal and Grow. When a child is adopted, he can arrive with hurts from the past-pain that stunts his emotional growth, and your family s life, too. At some point your parenting dreams can shatter, and raising a hurt child becomes more like a burden than a blessing. But don t give up. With time, patience, informed parenting, and appropriate therapy, your adopted child can heal, grow, and develop beyond what seems possible now. From insights gathered through years of working with adopted kids who have experienced early trauma, Gregory C. Keck and Regina M. Kupecky explain how to manage a hurting child with loving wisdom and resolve, and how to preserve your stability while untangling their thorny hearts. We hope that what we share will give you strength, courage, and commitment, write the authors. We hope you will tap into your own resources and creativity to become the parent you ve always wanted to be. If you ve adopted a child, whatever the circumstances, you ll find hope and healing on these pages for you, your family, and especially your adopted child.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00IDHW63G
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ NavPress; Revised and Updated ed. edition (February 1, 2014)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ February 1, 2014
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 937 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 300 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars 227 ratings

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Customer reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
4.8 out of 5
227 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on January 25, 2014
My son is 11 years-old, but he came to live with us when he was 2 years 9 months after living in 4 different foster homes. I wish that I had read this book when he was younger. It really helped me to understand what he has been through and to see things through his eyes. I am thinking about buying multiple copies and distributing them at our local National Adoption Day. At a recent team meeting for my son at his school, I shared the book with his teachers, the school adjustment counselor and the principal. It not only helps to provide an understanding of the child, but it offers practical tips for home and school. There are also writings within the book from adoptive parents and adopted children. It really covers all perspectives in a comprehensive way. As adoptive parents we like to think that we can fix everything with love and care. This book helps parents to set realistic goals and to appreciate every baby step that their child takes in the long process of healing.
One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on December 14, 2013
A year ago my husband and I adopted three sisters from foster care. Before they came home I stumbled upon this book and read it along with the book Adopting the Hurt Child and I'm so glad that my husband and I read it because it was so helpful and so many times we said "Oh, this is what they were talking about." We have a better understanding of what our girls need from us and hope that there are other people out there going through the same thing and our children can heal and bond. Adopting three children with reactive attachment disorder at ages 5, 7, and 9 is the by far most challenging and heart breaking experience of my life. Every day is hard and any resource that is available is so helpful. If you only read the last chapter on he success stories it's worth it right there, I've read those stories so many times I think I can recite it from memory. Please read this book, it's life changing.
7 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on May 4, 2012
I found this book to be very informative. It's imperative that we learn the best ways to help children affected by the lack of love.

As a Christian, I believe fully that Jesus Christ forgives and restores all. I also believe that we need to reinforce to the hurt child that they are not bad, they are not ugly, they are not unloved. We need to inforce all the good they are - as the blessing the Lord has created.

This book is a great guide with ideas on how to build a trusting and loving relationship with your child. I will use the techniques here along with the Word of God to help my soon-to-be-adopted daughter in her path to a normal and healthy life.
4 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on May 24, 2023
Sent to six grandchildren. Great material.
Reviewed in the United States on December 29, 2017
This book is well written and an easy read. The strategies are great for parenting adults with adopted children. There are even times I employ techniques when teaching foster youth. However, it was off putting that the authors would weave their own faith based values into a resource book. The book also lacked inclusive language and made assumptions about family dynamics.
5 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on February 4, 2013
This is an excellent book. The author, who has adopted from foster care, provides great information on what you will encounter when you do the same. The book really helps me understand what to expect and effective ways to approach situations. Since much of what he describes is counter to what parents who have raised biological children from birth experience, it's extremely useful in being prepared and dealing effectively with certain behaviors or attitudes. Of the many books I've read on this topic,this one is the most useful. His other books are good too but if you just read one, I'd recommend this.
4 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on June 3, 2018
This is a wonderful book. There is so much great information, examples, parent/child stories, insight to how your hurt child is feeling, and understanding on how to help them no longer hurt. I would recommend this to anyone foster or adopting. As well as to the families of those who foster/adopt.
Reviewed in the United States on August 22, 2012
I bought two of these books. One for me and one for my daughter and her husband that have adopted 3 foster kids. I am raising my grandson. I haven't gotten very far in the book yet, but the more I have read the more I find it spot on. I don't know when my daughter and her husband are going to find time to read it while trying to keep up with the 3 kids, but I'm hoping they will find it helpful in raising them.
One person found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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susan
5.0 out of 5 stars loved it
Reviewed in Canada on June 2, 2014
Very helpful. Lots of pointers on how to handle certain situations, some could also be used for children who have not been hurt.
Some points also reinforced what you already know or do especially if you were unsure if these tactics were helpful.
Miss C A Sherman
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 6, 2014
Amazing book and arrived very quickly
Cliente Kindle
4.0 out of 5 stars è importante averlo
Reviewed in Italy on January 8, 2013
ci tenevo molto a questo libro perchè in Italia cultura in questo argomento va ancora formata, grazie alla competenza di questi operatori del settore che sono stati in grado di andare oltre
Leanne
5.0 out of 5 stars must read
Reviewed in Canada on May 17, 2014
Awesome book that every adoptive parent should read! Let your family read it when you're done so they too can understand/help!
shelly carson
4.0 out of 5 stars Great book.
Reviewed in Canada on September 9, 2018
Lots of good information.
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