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Ice Planet Barbarians Kindle Edition
- LanguageEnglish
- Publication dateApril 3, 2015
- File size2470 KB
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From the Publisher
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Editorial Reviews
Review
“If you’re looking for a very fun, slightly vacuous, superhot read . . . I think you’ll love this book.”—All About Romance
From the Author
- Ice Planet Barbarians (Georgie/Vektal)
- Barbarian Alien (Liz/Raahosh)
- Barbarian Lover (Kira/Aehako)
- Barbarian Mine (Harlow/Rukh)
- Ice Planet Holiday (novella)
- Barbarian's Prize (Tiffany/Salukh)
- Barbarian's Mate (Josie/Haeden)
- Having the Barbarian's Baby (short story)
- Ice Ice Babies (short story)
- Barbarian's Touch (Lila/Rokan)
- Calm(short story)
- Barbarian's Taming (Maddie/Hassen)
- Aftershocks (short story)
- Barbarian's Heart (Stacy/Pashov)
- Barbarian's Hope (Asha/Hemalo)
- Barbarian's Choice (Farli/Mardok)
- Barbarian's Redemption (Elly/Bek)
- Barbarian's Lady (Kate/Harrec)
- Barbarian's Rescue (Summer/Warrek)
- Barbarian's Tease (Brooke/Taushen)
- The Barbarian Before Christmas (novella)
- Barbarian's Beloved (Ariana/Zolaya)
- Barbarian's Valentine (novella)
- Barbarian's Seduction (Marlene/Zennek)
About the Author
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Up until yesterday, I, Georgie Carruthers, never believed in aliens. Oh, sure, there were all kinds of possibilities out there in the universe, but if someone would have told me that little green men were hanging around Earth in flying saucers, just waiting to abduct people? I would have told them they were crazy.
But that was yesterday.
Today? Today's a very different sort of story.
I suppose it all started last night. It was pretty ordinary, overall. I came home after a long day of working the drive-thru teller window at the bank, nuked a Lean Cuisine, ate it while watching TV, and dozed off on the couch before stumbling to bed. Not exactly the life of the party, but hey. It was a Tuesday, and Tuesdays were all work, no play. I went to sleep, and from there, shit got weird.
My dreams were messed up. Not the usual losing teeth or naked in front of the class dreams. These were far more sinister. Dreams of loss and abandonment. Dreams of pain and cold white rooms. Dreams of walking in a tunnel and seeing an oncoming train. In that dream, I tried to lift my hand to shield me from the light.
Except when I went to raise my hand, I couldn't.
That had woken me up from my slumber. I squinted into the tiny light someone was shining in my eyes. Someone was . . . shining something in my eyes? I blinked, trying to focus, and realized that I wasn't dreaming at all. I wasn't home, either. I was . . . somewhere new.
Then the light clicked off and a bird chirped. I squinted, my eyes adjusting to the darkness, and I found myself surrounded by . . . things. Things with long black eyes and big heads and skinny pale arms. Little green men.
I'd screamed. I'd screamed bloody murder, actually.
One of the aliens tilted its head at me, and the bird chirping sound happened again, even though his mouth didn't move. Something hot and dry wrapped over my mouth, choking me, and a noxious scent filled my nostrils. Oh shit. Was I going to die? Frantically, I worked my jaw, trying to breathe even as the world got dark around me.
Then, I went back to sleep, dreaming of work. I always dreamed of work when I was stressed. For hours on end, angry banking clients yelled at me as I kept trying to tear open packs of twenties that wouldn't seem to come open. I'd try to count out change only to get distracted. Work dreams are the worst, usually, but this one was a relief. No trains. No aliens. Just banking. I could deal with banking.
And that brings me to . . . here.
I'm awake. Awake and not entirely sure where I am. My eyes slide open, and I gaze around me. It smells like I'm in a sewer, I can feel a wall behind me, and my body hurts all freaking over. My head feels blurry and slow, like all of me hasn't quite woken up yet. My limbs feel heavy. Drugged, I realize. Someone's drugged me.
Not someone. Something.
My breath quickens as a mental image of the dark-eyed aliens returns, and I look for them. Wherever I'm at, I'm alone.
Thank God.
I squint in the low light, trying to make out my surroundings. It seems to be a large, dark room. Faint orange light is emitted from small running tubes in the ceiling about twenty feet above. The walls themselves are black, and if I didn't know better, I'd say this looks like a cargo bay from some weird science fiction movie. On the wall opposite me, I count six large six-foot metal tubes lined up against the wall like lockers. Orange and green lights run up and down the sides of the tubes in a variety of squiggles and dots that might be some sort of alien writing. On the far wall, there's an oblong oval door. I can't get to the door, though, because I'm behind a metal grid of some kind.
And there's a god-awful smell. Actually, it's not just one smell, it's several of them. It's like a piss-shit-vomit-sweat cocktail, and it makes me gag. I try to cover my mouth with my hand, but my arm is slow to respond and all I manage to do is flail a little. Ugh.
I swing my drugged, heavy head, looking around the room. Actually, I'm not alone, now that I look around. There are others piled onto this side of the grid, bodies curled up and asleep. In the low light, I count seven, maybe eight forms about my size, huddled together like puppies. Seeing as how we're all on this side of the metal grid, I'm starting to suspect I'm in a jail cell of some kind.
Or a cage.
I guess if I have to be in a cage, it could be worse. There's room enough to stand, though not much more than that. At least there are no aliens in here with me. I want to panic, but I'm too out of it. This is like going to the dentist's office and getting a dose of laughing gas. I'm having a hard time focusing on anything.
My bare upper arm aches, and I sluggishly rub my fingers on it. There are several raised bumps on my arm that weren't there before, and I rub it harder, feeling something hard under the skin. What the fuck? I try to peer at it in the dark, but I can't see anything. Images of the aliens and the light shining in my eyes, the nightmares, the terror-it all rises, and I panic. A whimper escapes in my throat.
A hand touches my other arm. "Don't scream," a girl whispers.
I roll my too heavy head until I can look over at her. She's about my age, but blonde and thinner than me. Her hair's long and dirty, her eyes big in her lean face. She glances around the room, and then puts a finger to her lips in case I didn't understand her earlier warning.
Silence. Okay. Okay. I choke the cry rising in my throat and try to remain calm. I nod. Don't scream. Don't scream. I can keep my shit together. I can.
"You all right?"
"Yeaaah . . ." I slur, my mouth unable to form words. And . . . I drool all over myself. Lovely. I lift one of my heavy hands to swipe at my mouth. "Thorry-"
"You're okay," she says before I can panic again. Her voice is pitched low so as to not wake up the others. "We're all a bit hung over when we wake up. They drug everyone when they arrive. It'll wear off in a bit. I'm Liz."
"Georgie," I tell her, taking time to sound out my name properly. I rub my arm and point at it, at the strange bumps. "Whattth going on?"
"Well," Liz says, "you were abducted by aliens. But I guess that one was obvious, right?"
I smile wryly. Or I try to. I probably just end up drooling on myself again.
Liz shifts next to me. "Okay, let me see if I can hit the big highlights. Everyone else here?" She thumbs a gesture at the others piled into the cage, still sleeping. "They've been abducted, too. All Earth, most American. I think there's a Canadian in there. You twenty-two?"
"Yeth?"
"Yeah, I thought so. We all are. Let me also guess: live alone, not pregnant, no major health issues, no nearby family?"
"How-"
"Because we're all in the same boat," Liz says, her tone bleak. "Every girl they pick up has the same story. Except for Megan. She was pregnant. Two months along, she said, and they vacuumed her out like it was no big deal." Liz shudders. "So I'm guessing that wherever they're taking us, they don't want pregnant girls. Just young and healthy."
Oh God. I swallow hard, fighting the urge to puke. There's really no place to do it, though I'm starting to suspect I know why the place smells like sewage. Liz's scent isn't exactly pleasant. "How . . . long you been heeere?"
"Me?" she asks. "Two weeks. Kira's been here the longest that we know of. She's the one with the earpiece."
I look around, but I don't see an earpiece on anyone in particular.
"It's a translator," Liz explains. "You'll see soon enough. I'm throwing too much at you at once, aren't I? Okay, let's try this again. See those tubes?" She points at the far wall, at the things that reminded me of oversized lockers. "Kira saw what was in them. She said they're more girls, just like us."
I gasp, the sound watery and overloud. More people?
Liz waves a hand at me, indicating we should be quiet, and I nod, rubbing those itchy bumps on my arm. She peers around to see if anyone's coming, and when no one appears, scoots even closer to me. I smell her body next to mine, her scent sweaty but human. "Yeah. So . . . they picked up Kira and she said they kept talking to her and she couldn't understand them, so they took her by the ear and more or less stapled in some sort of earpiece that translates things. But I guess they only had one of the suckers, so she has to translate for the rest of us."
"S-stapled?" I repeat, horrified at the thought.
"Yep. Tagged her like a cow." Liz grimaces. "Sorry, I'm from Oklahoma. I guess that visual doesn't bother me as much as you. Where you from?"
"Orlando." I'm not sure if my mouth will work around "Florida" without a spray of spit.
She nods. "We're kind of scattered all over the place. Anyhow, from what Kira's been able to pick up, our new friends are smugglers of some kind. Guess what they trade in?"
"Girls?"
"Ayup." She points at the lockers again. "My guess is that they came here to pick up six, then had such a good run that they decided to squeeze a few more into the hold and make out like bandits or something. Kira says someone new pops up every other day or so. We figure they're going to pack us up like sardines and then sell us off to . . . I don't know. Wherever." She shudders. "I'm trying not to think that far ahead because I'll just start screaming, and you don't want to know what happens when you start screaming."
Oh no. "What-"
"You'll see soon enough," Liz says in a sick voice. "Just trust me. The skinny ones don't like noise. Remember that, okay?"
I remember her warning from before. "Okay. My . . . arm-"
"Little bumps on it? Yeah. They have a doctor of some kind-or a veterinarian, who knows. He shows up when we first get here, jabs a bunch of needles into us, sticks the silver thing in your skin, and leaves. I'm thinking it's kind of like when the vet shows up at the farm, inoculates the cows, and sticks a tracker in the ear. Except ours is in the arm. But there I go comparing us to cows again. I probably shouldn't, right?"
"Cuz . . . we . . . eat . . . cows," I mumble between drooling on myself.
Liz snorts. "Yeah, pretty much. But I think they're taking too much trouble with us to eat us. Unless we're a delicacy of some kind, which I wouldn't rule out. But . . . yeah."
"Yeah," I echo.
"Try and get some sleep if you can," Liz murmurs, patting my sore arm. "Sleeping's pretty much the only escape we have. Enjoy it."
That Liz, such an optimist. I wrap my arms around my chest and notice I'm still wearing the sleeveless shorty pajama set I'd gone to sleep in. It's not very warm or very concealing, and I absurdly wish that I'd gone to sleep in a big flannel pajama set.
And then I want to weep. To think I haven't dressed properly for alien abduction. My shoulders shake with mirth until mirth turns into tears. So yeah. Yesterday? I didn't believe in aliens. But that was yesterday.
I quietly weep myself back to sleep.
I figure out a few things over the next day on the spaceship.
I figure out that there's no toilet. It seems our captors hadn't thought through the whole stuff-the-hold-full-of-stolen-girls thing. We have to make do with a bucket in a corner, hence the sewage smell. Dignity? Gone. Nothing like waiting your turn on the poop bucket to make you lose what little humanity you have left.
I figure out that food is tiny little bricks that look like dried seaweed and taste like shit. We get two of those a day. Water? It's dispensed from a faucet of some kind that reminds me of a gerbil feeder set in the wall.
The welts on my arm go down over the next several hours, though one rough little bump remains. Through feeling it and peering at the other girls' arms, I'm guessing it's some sort of electronic tracking device they've implanted. Cattle tags, as Liz had called 'em. At the moment, I think it's pretty damn apt.
I figure out that there are two kinds of aliens. There are the fragile green ones that seem to be in charge and the basketball-headed ones that are security. I call them basketball heads not because they've got oversized brains, but because of the pebbly, hairless orangish texture of their skin. It looks bizarre above the collar of the gray bodysuits they wear day in and day out. The basketball heads are pretty horrific, no matter the stupid name. They have weird little bug eyes with an opaque eyelid over them and needle-like teeth. They have two fingers and a thumb instead of five, and they're tall. The little green men, the ones that make the bird noises? They're not more than three feet tall or so, and they rarely show up. The basketball heads, though? They're in the hold constantly.
Everyone's terrified of them, too.
I figure this out when I wake up the next morning-though I suppose it could be the afternoon-and see everyone else is awake. The last of the dopey meds seem to have worn off, and I stifle a yawn, blinking. I want to be silent, because silent is good. It takes me a moment to realize everyone's moving to the far side of the cage, huddling away from the bars. The hairs on the back of my neck rise, and I follow the others, heading to the back. I want to ask what's going on, but the moment I open my mouth, Liz shakes her head silently, her gaze fixed on something over my shoulder.
Product details
- ASIN : B00UB6OO2I
- Publisher : Ruby Dixon (April 3, 2015)
- Publication date : April 3, 2015
- Language : English
- File size : 2470 KB
- Simultaneous device usage : Unlimited
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Sticky notes : On Kindle Scribe
- Print length : 188 pages
- Best Sellers Rank: #639 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author
Ruby Dixon loves to write outlandishly fun romance. Right now she's obsessed with monster heroes. She's also dabbled in bikers, bears, and aliens have her heart. You know her from the TikTok sensation Ice Planet Barbarians. She requires coffee to function and will show you pictures of her cats at a moment's notice -- you have been warned.
Big releases for 2024!
BARBARIAN'S TAMING (special edition) comes out on May 28th!
BOUND TO THE SHADOW PRINCE comes out July 2nd!
And a fantastic new romantasy series starts in October! BULL MOON RISING will be available in hardback on October 15th.
Want updates on when the new book releases? Hit 'Follow Author' on Amazon or sign up for my newsletter on my webpage.
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Top reviews from the United States
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At first, I didn’t like this and almost dnf’d it within the first chapter for a couple of reasons. One being I don’t care much for narration using first person present tense PoV. It usually makes it feel like ‘author self-insertion’ me. I’m not trying to be a snob about it but it just doesn’t seem professional. Well, I soon got over it. After they meet each other, it becomes dual PoV and a lot better.
The second reason for the initial dislike is the fact that the mmc sounded very military. I was in the military at one point, and it kind of brought back some memories of the survival-mode. I wasn’t expecting to encounter it, which is why it put me off at first. But I decided that that wasn’t a good reason to dnf this book. Her emotional reactions rang true to the situation, I feel.
I really loved the mmc and how protective and adoring he is. I like his personality a lot. I won’t go into it further so there won’t be spoilers.
I do feel that the book is a bit short but, I’m guessing the following books will flesh things out (pun intended).
The author states that this book is a bit darker than usual for her, but except for one scene, the angst doesn’t pervade the rest of the book, which is good, because I just stopped reading another series by a different author because the angst between the mc’s got to be too much for me, dragging on and on.
This is a short and sweet little novel, and I think it was a good first choice to get to know this author. It had some very amusing dialogue, and the way the language barrier was handled was great.
The MC is a tad underdeveloped. I have no clue who or what was important to her on Earth and how that influenced her decisions on “Not-Noth” but she has a fun personality and is likable.
I loved Vektal. His devotion to Georgie really won me over.
I love this story and don't regret my purchase at all! I have re-read the whole book three times since then, and thought about the story fondly even more often. Today I decided to see if any more volumes of Ice Planet Barbarians from the POV of the other human women were available for purchase. I am very disappointed that none exist and hope that Ruby Dixon is working on more books for this series. *HINT!! HINT!! Ruby Dixon*
I liked the story very much just from the free sample I got from Volume One but was afraid to buy it because the sample ended before Georgie got to meet her alien hunk. That is the ONLY reason I waited until after reading the sample of Complete Series before buying.
I am so SICK of how many alien-romance authors make their heroines have completely unrealistic and completely situation-inappropriate sexual reactions to their hunky alien hero when they first meet.
Falling in lust-at-first-sight is NOT love! It can NOT replace real, meaningful interaction and relationship building. And it is RIDICULOUS behavior when one has been terrorized by ____ aliens and is beaten/starving/stinky/terrified and has been like that for days!!!!!
This story is realistic. Yes, there is a Destined Mate element at work and Georgie still falls in love, ###### ####### ####### (hiding spoilers), and decides to stay with Vectal all in about a week and I do think her waking-up reaction during her first big-O from Vectal is a little underwhelming but there are always good reasons for her choices (not "Because I love him so much!"). She actually THINKS about what she should do.
Poor Vectal is so earnestly confused about how Georgie has made it to his remote wilderness hunting ground even though she has no winter clothes, no weapons or supplies, and no knowledge of the dangers of his land. I love how, when he sees how Georgie cringes away afraid of him, sees her bruises, and realizes that she has been mistreated, he tries to be even more gentle with her.
Even though Vectal is a barbarian and Georgie is a human who's only contact with aliens up to now has been negative, these two still interact with each other with more awareness of their cultural differences than the heroes and heroines of many other books I have read, which is my 2nd biggest alien-romance pet peeve: a very advanced alien species, one that is light years ahead of humanity in every way and has had space travel and contact with other alien species for hundreds of years, meets a human for the first time... and then tries to court/romance/treat her just like he would court/romance/treat a female of his own species and is SHOCKED, confused, and maybe even horrorified/offended to discover that humans do things differently than their species and she might even be offended by some of their behavior. You expect me to believe that they learned NOTHING in school, from their tv/internet, from How to Fly a Spaceship Academy, and from their own personal intergalatic travels about the practices of other species and how to interact with them?
Ruby Dixon made Georgie and Vectal respond in reasonable and believable ways to each other: their first meeting, their stilted conversations (at first), gestures, and language barrier, how Georgie tries to get Vectal to take her up the mountain, why Vectal doesn't want to take Georgie up the mountain, etc. They don't always easily determine what the other is trying to say and they are both frustrated sometimes when they don't know the words to get their message across. I read a book where there was a language difference and yet the hero and heroine could so easily read each other's alien expressions and gestures and they always quickly guessed exactly what the other person meant. It would have been more believable and less annoying for the author to have them stumble upon a translator that let them communicate than to have them magically understand each other like that *snaps fingers*.
I like the world building. There could have been more but I don't feel like the story suffers from the lack of it. Also, Dixon didn't give us any stupidly illogical or tacky world-details like "a cute bunny-like creature hops innocently up to the water's edge and dips its head to drink. The water ripples from something moving beneath, and then there's a great splash below the bunny-thing and it disappears under the water. A minute later the water seems to belch out a pile of gleaming white bones that lands on the shore." REALLY? Nothing (except a dumb, recently-arrived-to-the-planet human) walks innocently up to the water's edge on a planet where a water monster lives. Oh, and how did the animals that evolved there (and the human walking by) miss the many piles of bones that must litter the water's edge. Owls throw up clumps of bones and fur after eating, but that takes hours or days. Scenarios like that are just too tacky to include in an otherwise well-written book. So, just to be extra clear, I love Ice Planet Barbarians because it does NOT have stupid planet descriptions like that.
I'm an animal lover who is very interested in ethology (study of animal behavior), so I know I am more sensitive to errors like this than the average reader but I still feel like, even if the average reader/writer doesn't know this scenario would never happen in real life, that the average reader shouldn't tolerate their writer giving them such an easy, tacky, unimaginative monster-in-the-moat scenario.
There's realistic dialogue among the humans, that is oftentimes witty.
I love all the differences between alien Vectal and human Georgie. I won't list all the differences and ruin the surprise, but needless to say, this is NOT an alien species whose only difference from earth humans is that they have cool eyebrows and pointed ears.
I think I wrote a book report on Ice Planet Barbarian. SORRY. I'm a college student so I'm still doing that kind of thing on a regular basis. Guess I reverted to old habits.
Top reviews from other countries
The world building in this book is brilliant considering how short it felt - I read the whole thing in one night! As soon as I finished I bought the second one because I need to know what happens next.
I will say before you read the book, read the TW page if you have triggers, I don’t so I didn’t read them but looking over them afterwards I don’t think it will detract from the story to read them as the main ones happen right at the beginning of the book.
SPOILERS:
Georgie is minding her own business. She’s a drive through bank teller and leads a quiet life; until she’s abducted from her bed by aliens.
Whilst held captive by the grey, and the ‘basket ball’ aliens, she is placed in a cage with others.
The human women are all 22, single, not pregnant, and have no one close to them.
After a horrific time aboard the spaceship, there’s some turbulence and the women and Georgie use the distraction to their advantage. Unfortunately, their cargo hold is sent on a crash landing towards an unknown planet - though the women hope it’s Earth.
With all of them hurt to some degree, they find they’re on a mountain. The Gil is getting cold, there’s a crack in it which is letting in snow, and they have minimal rations. It’s decided Georgie, with her possibly broken ribs and wrist will be the one to trek out in the snow wearing the only clothing suitable enough for this cold environment.
Outside the land is harsh and cold. Georgie begins heading down the mountain in the hope of finding civilisation, hopefully someone, some way, to help them get back to earth. What she finds is a strange alien planet with dangerous creatures. As she tries to escape she gets caught in a hunters trap.
Hanging upside down, the blood rushing to her head and fear forcing her heart to pound, Georgie sees a big white furred creature heading for her as she blacks out…