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These Wilds Beyond Our Fences: Letters to My Daughter on Humanity's Search for Home Kindle Edition

4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 75 ratings

Tackling some of the world’s most profound questions through the intimate lens of fatherhood, Bayo Akomolafe embarks on a journey of discovery as he maps the contours of the spaces between himself and his three-year-old daughter, Alethea. In a narrative that manages to be both intricate and unguarded, he discovers that something as commonplace as becoming a father is a cosmic event of unprecedented proportions. Using this realization as a touchstone, he is led to consider the strangeness of his own soul, contemplate the myths and rituals of modernity, ask questions about food and justice, ponder what it means to be human, evaluate what we can do about climate change, and wonder what our collective yearnings for a better world tell us about ourselves. These Wilds Beyond Our Fences is a passionate attempt to make sense of our disconnection in a world where it is easy to feel untethered and lost. It is a father’s search for meaning, for a place of belonging, and for reassurance that the world will embrace and support our children once we are gone.
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Bayo Akomolafe left a teaching position as a professor and clinical psychologist in a Nigerian university to pursue “a small and intense life”— a life outside the highways of the familiar, outside of fences. In a sense, his decolonizing journey in the wilds, in the borderlands of globalizing culture, began when he met Ijeoma, his wife of Indian and African descent, and when a healer suggested to him “that I could find my way if I were willing to become generously lost.” His quest is to tell the stories of the occluded, to make room for other spaces of power and invite the proliferation of multiple natures. This, his first book is a foray into the ordinary “which the extraordinary is always trying to become.” Akomolafe lectures and gives talks internationally, mostly keynote speeches, and is Chief Curator for an earth-wide commonwealth of curators working from a different ethos of responsivity, called The Emergence Network. He currently lives in India with his “life-force,” Ijeoma (or Ej), and their two children: Alethea Aanya and Kyah Jayden.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B06X3TLQWJ
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ North Atlantic Books (November 14, 2017)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ November 14, 2017
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 1675 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 335 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 75 ratings

About the author

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Bayo Akomolafe
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Bayo Akomolafe (Ph.D.) considers his most sacred work to be learning how to be with his daughter and son, Alethea Aanya and Kyah Jayden - and their mother, his wife and "life-nectar", Ijeoma. "To learn the importance of insignificance" is the way he frames a desire to reacquaint himself with a world that is irretrievably entangled, preposterously alive and completely partial. Bayo was born in 1983 into a Christian home, and to Yoruba parents in western Nigeria. Losing his diplomat father to a sudden heart complication, Bayo became a reclusive teenager, seeking to get to the "heart of the matter" as a response to his painful loss. He sought to apply himself to the extremes of his social conditioning, his faith, and his eventual training as a clinical psychologist - only to find that something else beyond articulation was tugging at his sleeves, wanting to be noticed. After meeting with traditional healers as part of his quest to understand trauma, mental wellbeing and healing in new ways, his deep questions and concerns for decolonized landscapes congealed into a life devoted to exploring the nuances of a "magical" world "too promiscuous to fit neatly into our fondest notions of it." A lecturer, speaker, and proud diaper-changer, Bayo curates an earth-wide project for the re-calibration of our ability to respond to civilizational crisis - a project framed within a feminist ethos and inspired by indigenous cosmologies. He considers this a shared art - exploring the edges of the intelligible, dancing with posthumanist ideas, dabbling in the mysteries of quantum mechanics and the liberating sermon of an ecofeminism text, and talking with others about how to host a festival of radical silence on a street in London - and part of his inner struggle to regain a sense of rootedness to his community. In short, Bayo has given up his longing for the "end-time" and is learning to live in the "mean time". In the middle, where we must live with confusion and make do with partial answers. His greatest vocation is however learning to be a satellite orbiting his greatest gift, his goddess Ijeoma, and knowing the blessings of her gravity. He speaks and teaches about his experiences around the world, and then returns to his adopted home in Chennai, India - "where the occasional whiff of cow dung dancing in the air is another invitation to explore the vitality of a world that is never still and always surprising."

www.bayoakomolafe.net

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
75 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on April 15, 2018
I write this review as a professor of education who has used it in his courses at a liberal arts college. This is an extraordinary book that intermingles quantum physics, Yoruba metaphysics, feminist epistemology, critical race theory and just beautiful writing that awakens us to our better selves. Akomolafe(Ph.D.) is brilliant and is himself an embodiment of the crossroads about which he writes. Here is just a short excerpt from page 12 that offers a glimpse of how he writes to his daughter and to us: "Let me tell you the little things that I have come to learn while I still can, right here in these middling places, still trying to reach out to you: everything begins in the middle. There are no beginnings that appear unperturbed, pristine and without hauntings. And there are no endings that are devoid of traces that are not yet to happen. The middle isn't the the space between things, it is the world in its ongoing practices of worlding itself."

In a profound way this claim about the middle challenges our embrace of fairy tales that begin, "Once Upon A Time..." as if we can begin at the start of something where there was and is no earlier moment. The middle is not a place of moderation or sell-out, but rather a profound place of becoming, of 'worlding' ourselves, of being 'grown-ups' who embrace the past as something yet to fully become in this moment. If you are interested in how we might decommission or decolonize Whiteness this idea of the middle has profound implications and this book is an essential read. Akomolafe demands a deep responsibility and accountability that embeds 'being humans', to quote the Civil Rights activist Ruby Sales, into this earth in which we are entangled. He embodies the work of Karen Barad and Donna Haraway, David Abram, Jeff Carreira, James Baldwin and other such marvelous writers in what is truly a unique expression of talent. Get this book, get two, and share with a friend. It is demanding, a chapter a day is what you can do, but in one week you will have read the most important book of 2018.
17 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on May 5, 2018
In The Wilds Beyond Our Fences author Bayo Akomolafe manages the balance of creating a book that is dipped in philosophy,
poetry, history (both personal and global) without ever losing its central personality. It is a rare feat, in my reading experience. Perhaps it
is possible here because it is coming from someone with so much experience and knowledge who also is writing motivated by the love of his child and family. Whatever direction he takes you in you are still feeling that love while gaining new insight. It is also refreshing to see a person of his education and pedigree leave room for the mystical, for the unknown. At the book's finish, which in a sense also feels like a beginning, I reacted as I would having been given access to an old treasure in a library or finding a brother I had been separated from who greeted me first with music, then words. It is that kind of practical, special and lyrical experience.
7 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on November 22, 2017
Tears filled my eyes as I read the words that have been so eloquently woven. A must have for all those who are actively thinking about the world we leave behind for our children.
3 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on March 31, 2018
This is a stunning body of work. It is encompassing, sobering, and vast. At the same time, it is deeply personal, vulnerable, mysterious, at times terrifying, and profoundly moving. It is a feast for the soul with exquisite nuggets of meaning-making on every single beautiful page.

Bayo Akomolafe is clearly a modern–postmodern genius and mystic, master storyteller, and sacred activist. He is inviting us to individually and collectively face challenging realities head-on...but certainly NOT in the usual way we have been summoned by other modern activisms.

This is a ground-breaking, inspiring, new kind of call to action and way of being and relating to the (human and non-human) world and the crisis we face today and it gives me hope for the future (~present). This is a book that needs to be read by all of us "moderns" and studied and integrated as a powerful way forward together as we embark on our much-needed collective healing journey.

Bayo invites us to open ourselves up to new places of power, to practice dwelling in the midst of our modern catastrophe, to seak the edges, and practice being alert and present in the "thick" discomfort as we develop the skills of curiosity about the paths we might embark on as we meet the universe halfway and begin to recognize and honor that there are other ways of being in relationship to...everything.

This is a must-read for anyone interested in engaging in meaningful activisms in these challenging times. It is for all those who long to leave a legacy of love and healing, tenderness, and care for many generations to come. This book is for those who want to disrupt the status quo, decolonize, and dismantle structures that are de-humanizing, disembodying, and anthropocentric. It is for anyone longing for a new way of being in the world, anyone longing to belong, anyone longing to finally come home to the majesty that is inherent in this one wondrous and tragic life.

This is a must-read!
6 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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miss e.gkiougki
5.0 out of 5 stars great read
Reviewed in Germany on March 22, 2024
just the amazing Bayo storytelling <3 !!!
Organic1der
5.0 out of 5 stars Reading Bayo's work have helped me fall in love with words again at a time when I often ...
Reviewed in Canada on November 24, 2017
I first heard Bayo in a course I was taking - he was one of our speakers - I have been waiting for this book to come out for months. Reading Bayo's work has helped me fall in love with words again at a time when I often feel as if everything has already been written. I am grateful for his authenticity, curiosity and beautiful exploration of ideas such as fatherhood, belonging, and colonization. Bayo's words force me to slow down and savour both the comfortable and the uncomfortable - finding beauty in both.
RM
5.0 out of 5 stars Reading this book changed how I see the world and what I do in it.
Reviewed in France on May 1, 2018
Bayo Akomolafe has plucked, strummed, and invented chords of serendipitous harmony and dissonance, conjuring prose tendrils that sparkle, tempt and even whack at the taste, touch, smell and idea of being a human in a creative universe. The splendidly mercurial protagonist of this book is the untethered and yearning spirit of awareness that can journey through a plunge into a single point of isolated nothingness and then surf the hurling expansion that is the oneness of it all. The learnings of These Wilds Beyond Our Fences invite us to visit our categories of mind, academic, political, personal, social, ecological and spiritual, by showing us how to escape from the trap of human narcissism, that measly, diminished, life denying delusion of omnipotence that assembles into the toxic walls of a shiny self-enforced prison. All is wild, our fences a rite of passage, being able to roam, even without moving, is what defines the capacity to be free.

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