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Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World Kindle Edition

by Deborah Reber (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

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It’s time to say NO to trying to fit square-peg kids into rounds holes, and YES to raising them from a place of acceptance and joy.

Today millions of kids are stuck in a world that doesn’t embrace who they really are. They are the one in five “differently wired” children with ADHD, dyslexia, giftedness, autism, anxiety, or other neurodifferences, and their challenges are many. And for the parents who love them, the challenges are just as numerous, as they struggle to find the right school, the right support, the right path.
But now there’s hope. Differently Wired is a revolutionary book—weaving together personal stories and a tool kit of expert advice from author Deborah Reber, it’s a how-to, a manifesto, and a reassuring companion for parents who can so often feel that they have no place to turn.

At the heart of Differently Wired are 18 paradigm-shifting ideas—what the author calls “tilts,” which include how to accept and lean in to your role as a parent (#2: Get Out of Isolation and Connect). Deal with the challenges of parenting a differently wired child (#5: Parent from a Place of Possibility Instead of Fear). Support yourself (#11: Let Go of Your Impossible Expectations for Who You “Should” Be as a Parent). And seek community (#18: If It Doesn’t Exist, Create It).

Taken together, it’s a lifesaving program to shift our thinking and actions in a way that not only improves the family dynamic, but also allows children to fully realize their best selves.

“In this generous and urgent book, Deborah Reber lets the light in. She helps parents see that they’re not alone, and even better, delivers a positive action plan that will change lives.”—Seth Godin, author of Linchpin

“Differently Wired will help parents of children who think differently to accept their child for who they are and facilitate their successful development.”—Temple Grandin, author of Thinking in Pictures and The Autistic Brain

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"In this generous and urgent book, Deborah lets the light in. She helps parents see that they're not alone, and even better, delivers a positive action plan that will change lives."
—Seth Godin, author of Linchpin

"Raising a 'differently wired' kid can feel like venturing out in unfamiliar territory without a map or a guide. Deborah Reber is the friend you need to navigate this terrain—not just offering practical tips for parenting kids with autism, ADHD, dyslexia and other conditions, but helping you think about your child's atypical mind in ways that will enable you to help them unlock their unique potential. This is a bracingly honest, beautifully written, and quietly groundbreaking book."

—Steve Silberman, author of NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity

“Differently Wired will help parents of children who think differently to accept their child for who they are and facilitate their successful development.
—Temple Grandin, author of Thinking in Pictures and The Autistic Brain

"A valuable resource for parents, teachers, and family members of exceptional children of all types.” –Library Journal

“Differently Wired offers an insightful, compassionate framework for empowering parents to rethink how they view neurodiverse learners. Building on the premise that we should celebrate our children’s uniqueness instead of apologizing for it, Deborah Reber provides real tools and practical advice for parents to confidently support their child’s journey, not only at school but also at home and in life.”
—Amanda Morin, writer/expert at Understood and author of The Everything Parent's Guide to Special Education

"Differently Wired is a comprehensive and practical approach to parenting a unique and complex population of children. Twice-exceptional children present parents with a plethora of challenges (and joys) which the author addresses with gusto. There are other titles written on this topic, but this in particular packs significant punch and is a 'must read' for all parents raising children with multiple exceptionalities."
—Dr. Michael Postma, EdD, Executive Director of SENG (Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted)

"Deborah Reber approaches the subject of raising a neurodiverse child with the diligence and depth of an investigative reporter and the passion (and compassion) of a parent-advocate, which she definitely is. This book offers parents a treasure trove of practical advice to help them advocate and navigate their personal journeys with their differently wired kids along the often challenging road less traveled.”
—Tom Ropelewski, filmmaker, 2e: Twice Exceptional and 2e2: Teaching the Twice Exceptional

"Differently Wired is one mother’s clarion call for moving to action, based on a deep understanding of children who are neurodiverse, and therefore, who think, learn, and at times, behave differently. Debbie Reber provides practical advice on a broad range of topics that will be a treasure trove for parents who are desperately seeking guidance in understanding and best supporting their neurodiverse child. This is a wonderfully engaging and much needed book that I will enthusiastically recommend to so many parents and professionals I meet on a regular basis."
—Barry M. Prizant, PhD, CCC-SLP, author of Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism

About the Author

Deborah Reber is a bestselling author, certified life coach, and speaker who has spent the past fifteen years writing inspiring books for women and teens. However, raising a twice-exceptional son and experiencing the heartaches, headaches, confusion, and unexpected gifts that are typical for parents raising these exceptional kids sparked a transformation in her passion and led to a conscious shift from the realm of teen advocacy to the world of supporting the millions of parents who are raising unique kids. She launched TiLT Parenting—a website, podcast, and social media community—in April 2016, where she is building a community of supportive parents of neurodiverse children.

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B075G4C36R
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Workman Publishing Company; Reprint edition (June 12, 2018)
Publication date ‏ : ‎ June 12, 2018
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 2058 KB
Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
Print length ‏ : ‎ 289 pages

Best Sellers Rank: #425,637 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #172 in Parenting eBooks on Children with Disabilities
- #935 in Parenting (Kindle Store)
- #990 in Parenting Books on Children with Disabilities

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4.7 560 ratings

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Deborah Reber

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Deborah Reber, MA, is a parenting activist, New York Times bestselling author, podcast host, and speaker who moved her career in a more personal direction in 2016 when she founded TiLT Parenting, a top resource for parents like her who are raising differently wired children. The TiLT Parenting Podcast has grown to be a top podcast in iTunes’ Kids and Family category, with more than 2 million downloads and a slate of guests that includes high-profile thought leaders across the parenting and education space. A regular contributor to Psychology Today and ADDitude Magazine, Debbie’s newest book is "Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World." In November 2018, she spoke at TEDxAmsterdam, delivering a talk entitled Why the Future Will Be Differently Wired.

Prior to launching TiLT, Debbie spent more than fifteen years writing inspiring books for women and teens. In doing so, she built a successful brand as a teen authority, was frequently interviewed and spoke about issues like media literacy, self-esteem, and confidence, and consulted for clients including the Girl Scouts, the Disney Channel, McGraw Hill, and Kaplan.

Since 1999, Debbie has authored many books, including Doable: The Girls’ Guide to Accomplishing Just About Anything, Language of Love, Chill: Stress-Reducing Techniques for a More Balanced, Peaceful You, In Their Shoes: Extraordinary Women Describe Their Amazing Careers, and more than a dozen preschool books based on the series Blue’s Clues. In 2008, she had the privilege of creating and editing the first-ever series of teen-authored memoirs, Louder Than Words.

Before embarking on her own path as a solopreneur, Debbie worked in TV and video production, producing documentaries and PSAs for CARE and UNICEF, working on Blue’s Clues for Nickelodeon in New York, and developing original series for Cartoon Network in Los Angeles. She has an MA in Media Studies from the New School for Social Research and a BA in Communications from Pennsylvania State University.

In December 2018, Debbie, her husband, and 15-year-old twice-exceptional son relocated back to NYC after living in Amsterdam, the Netherlands for five years. Debbie is an avid runner, traveler, and hiker, and claims reality shows as her guiltiest of pleasures.

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4.7 out of 5

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kate

eye opening

Reviewed in the United States on April 19, 2024

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This book is a must read for any family raising a neurodivergent child. It is full of optimism and hope and set me on a wonderful path in my outlook of parenting!

One person found this helpful

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Justin + Gia

Educational. Inspirational. Community Builder. Game Changer.

Reviewed in the United States on June 16, 2018

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“It’s time society stopped looking at our kid’s neurodifferneces as things in need of “fixing” and instead considered the possibility that today’s increasingly large population of atypical children may actually be a modern-day evolution. It’s time for our children to be seen and celebrated for who they truly are.” – YES, YES, YES to this!!

In her new book, Differently Wired, not only does Debbie get real about how the day-to-day reality negatively affects differently wired kids and families she also invites the reader to get curious instead. “If we don’t question, we stay stuck.”

She addresses some common problems and concerns families might face…for example, isolation and stigma, behavioral challenges, strain on the family, lack of choice, financial strain and having no clear path and knows there must be a better way.

Throughout the book Debbie shares her own personal stories, struggles and successes as well as numerous examples from others. This book ties together research, wisdom, insight and practical tips. The second half of the book is full of what Debbie calls, TILTS (paradigm shifts) or tips, things to consider, questions to ask and helpful strategies.

As a parent of a neurotypical kid I know I want to do everything I can to make sure I do my part to stop supporting systems and stereotypes that exclude so many kids and families and help redefine what is considered “normal”. Differently Wired gave me a better perspective and understanding of how I can begin to help.

I read an advance copy of this book and I am blown away. I can't even begin to tell you how much love, thought and passion Debbie put into writing it and creating the TILT podcast and community. As a friend, colleague and huge fan of hers and her work for years I couldn’t be more excited for everyone who gets their hands on it. What she is creating is so needed and is truly remarkable. Thank you, Debbie.

THREE THUMBS UP! Check it out! Spread the word and grab your copy today!

9 people found this helpful

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Adrien A.

Must-read for twice-exceptional families, for your spirit as much as your parenting

Reviewed in the United States on June 12, 2018

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It's like Debbie wrote this book just for my family and I know so many other parents will feel the same. Having navigated three schools by the time we ended first grade (a neighborhood school, a highly-capable program, and a thankfully short stint in a contained classroom for "social-emotional learning"), Debbie's similar experience in attempting to find a school fit for her own child several years older than my own was incredibly validating, and her guidance is invaluable as the search for "fit" becomes a much larger task encompassing all aspects family life, community life, and outward. I have a huge stack of "should-read" books in my office that I've attempted to begin and stopped because it was too much work to glean too little helpful information. Debbie's book is the *only one* that I have literally gobbled and could not put down as every page felt relevant and truly compelling to read.

Debbie is a leader in the paradigm shift that our twice exceptional families need so fervently as we navigate the many challenges of parenting without a roadmap for our exceptional young people. In reading an advance copy of the book a few weeks back, I realized that Debbie has provided us with an invaluable tool for navigating the murkier, emotional, gut-level decision making for our children. A process that is often lonely, isolated and confusing because conventional thinking on parenting and education do not apply, she shines a searchlight on. Her approach has echoed my own in finding that a positive, affirming approach goes so much further than the common behavioral approaches used in school and more traditional therapy which can be triggering and unhelpful for our kids. The message to lean-in and support our exceptional children's strengths while supporting them in other thoughtful ways is loud and clear and we'll be shouting from the rooftops to share all the goodness compiled in this book.

22 people found this helpful

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Becca

An Uplifting Resource Gold Mine

Reviewed in the United States on June 12, 2018

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Nothing has spoken to my parenting soul as much as the community Debbie has created through Tilt Parenting and now with this book. I was a parent who read EVERYTHING to get a handle on what was going on, to figure out how to best raise my child, and nothing, NOTHING, spoke to my reality. There was a glimmer here and there that I latched on to, but ultimately, they failed; ie. we failed. For years, I was certain that either I was manipulating all of the tools incorrectly or that my daughter wasn't capable. A lot of shame. Nobody around me was having the same issues or feeling the same way. Tilt Parenting, and now Differently Wired, gives much needed space for an honest, uplifting conversation about the complexity and the beauty of raising an out-of-the-box child, especially for this neurotypical, very much in-the-box mom. There is such relief in finding your tribe and bolstering your confidence so that you can advocate and ultimately meet valid needs for both yourself and your people.

I wholeheartedly recommend Differently Wired for everyone. Parents, school employees, camp counselors, law enforcement, librarians, grandparents, neighbors: everyone. You will see community members in this book and get the privilege to better see their lives. You will find your tribe in this book. Families like mine are everywhere, more often than not struggling on the fringe, and the conversations that can be born out of this book are exciting. Debbie has orchestrated a resource pool like no other. All those years ago, I needed exactly this and here it is. It's an easy, although emotional, read that will lead to broadening our scope of awareness and acceptance of ourselves and others.

30 people found this helpful

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Kindle Customer

Fantastic book!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 4, 2023

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This is the best book I've read to date about differently wired kids. Deborah has a great writing style, she is very positive but also honest about her personal experiences. Just what you need when you're going through the process. Fantastic book!

One person found this helpful

hljohnston

An Invitation To Reframe Difference

Reviewed in Canada on June 13, 2018

Verified Purchase

“Your child [has ADHD, Autism, PDD-NOS, is gifted, has sensory processing disorder…]”

The day you hear these words, whatever they are, everything changes. Looking back, you were navigating day to day, doing the best you could with hands full of challenges. Now you’ve stepped into a world of treatment and politics and debates about cures or whether what you’re experiencing even exists! Welcome to the world of the differently wired.

Debbie Reber, founder of Tilt Parenting and the Tilt Parenting podcast, is here to greet you with open arms. She’s bravely stepped into the big conversation on neurodiversity with a friendly, judgement free catch-all: “differently wired;” and an armload of “tilts” offered to help parents reframe some of the challenges that come with these gifts as opportunities. Imagine looking at, say, a spilled pitcher of milk not as a disruption but with curiosity, “What was he trying to do?” and you get the idea.

In “Differently Wired,” Deb offers eighteen accessible, thought provoking Tilts, each focusing on one aspect of life with an atypical kiddo; each offering a way to maybe just look at things from a slightly different angle – and see what happens. Woven throughout with stories of her own experience and that of many others in similar situations, the whole package is encouraging, empowering, and kind. Sweet validation, with some new ideas and strategies thrown in.

It’s a fun, engaging, and valuable read – and Deb brings a wonderful new voice to the conversation.

One person found this helpful

Jillian

Love it

Reviewed in Canada on September 22, 2019

Verified Purchase

I love everything about this book. It helps me feel less alone in the 2e "battle" and is inspiring me with new ways to advocate for my son.

Pow Wow

So Good!!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 17, 2019

Verified Purchase

As a father of a 5 yr old boy, that has not been diagnosed with any particular behaviour/s, I have to say that I am extremely grateful for this impartation. It couldn't have come at a greater time. I've learnt from this book that it is way better to seek understanding of what your child is going through and adapt in order to enhance, not only your child's learning experiences but also, your child's overall wellbeing and happiness whilst growing up. Stop blaming your child and accusing them of being the spawn of satan and start embracing who they are. The book helps and advises all parents to 'check themselves and unlearn' in order to change the trajectory of your child's future and your entire family.. and so.. life. Kudos to the author.. how wonderful is it to share knowledge and experience in this way. Amazing read.. especially for those who are dealing with issues that others cannot recognise as being 'normal'. This book will wake you up from the start of your reading and it through commonality in the reading you will find peace in this book. Trust me on that (struggling) parents(?). invest now and save yourself years of stressing aimlessly!!

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