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One Friday in April: A Story of Suicide and Survival Kindle Edition

4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 166 ratings

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One of TIME's 100 Must-Read Books of 2021

One of
BuzzFeed's Best Books of 2021

One of
Vulture's Best Books of 2021

Named one of the Most Anticipated of Books of 2021 by the
Los Angeles Times, Literary Hub, and The Millions



A searing and brave memoir that offers a new understanding of suicide as a distinct mental illness.


As the sun lowered in the sky one Friday afternoon in April 2006, acclaimed author Donald Antrim found himself on the roof of his Brooklyn apartment building, afraid for his life. In this moving memoir, Antrim vividly recounts what led him to the roof and what happened after he came back down: two hospitalizations, weeks of fruitless clinical trials, the terror of submitting to ECT—and the saving call from David Foster Wallace that convinced him to try it—as well as years of fitful recovery and setback.


Through a clear and haunting reckoning with the author’s own story, One Friday in April confronts the limits of our understanding of suicide. Donald Antrim’s personal insights reframe suicide—whether in thought or in action—as an illness in its own right, a unique consequence of trauma and personal isolation, rather than the choice of a depressed person.


A necessary companion to William Styron’s classic? Darkness Visible, this profound, insightful work sheds light on the tragedy and mystery of suicide, offering solace that may save lives.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Unflinchingly honest... The narrative is defiantly nonlinear and brilliantly reflective of the author’s state of being: anxious, inert, unworthy. Unlike a flat line, Antrim’s talent for storytelling is more similar to Russian nesting dolls: moments within moments that build upon each other as recollections and revelations... Slim yet formidable, a mind-bendingly good read."
Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

"[An] engrossing, necessary book―part memoir, part philosophical treatise... [An] intimate testimony from someone who has lived through an illness long shrouded in silence, shame and sin... Antrim’s inventive, circular prose style reflects his sense of warped time: Hours bend, fragment, compress, extend... One hopes this brief, courageous book will bring us closer to the 'paradigm shift' Antrim seeks."
Heather Clark, New York Times Book Review

"This harrowing and beautiful account of coming close to suicide will be an instant classic. With his direct, ravishing description of his own illness, Antrim allows us to see inside the suicidal state of mind in a way no book has ever done. He repositions and redefines what suicide is and allows the reader to see and comprehend this extreme of human situations in an entirely new way."
Katie Roiphe, author of The Power Notebooks

"With exceptional clarity and tremendous self-compassion, Antrim methodically recounts the moments that led up to committing himself to a psychiatric hospital for several months and the harrowing experience of getting the help he needed to bring himself back from psychosis."
Karolina Waclawiak, Buzzfeed

"Lucid... The light at the end of this painfully eloquent tunnel is the conclusion that no one should venture through the darkness alone. Readers looking to better understand the nuances of mental illness would do well to start with this profoundly affecting account."
Publishers Weekly

"A work of solace for the many people who have encountered this fear or lived with its aftermath."
The Millions

"
One Friday in April evokes, as vividly as any book since William Styron's Darkness Visible, the ongoing present tenseness―or present tension―of suicide... [Antrim's intentions] are to explore the experience of his illness rather than its arc... It’s a deft and unexpected approach, diffusing narrative tension in favor of a more inchoate set of anxieties, which only expand the deeper we read. At the same time, this enables One Friday in April to move fluidly between recollection and reflection, between what happened and the questions it provokes."
David L. Ulin, Los Angeles Times

"In
One Friday in April, Donald Antrim describes the sickness that is suicide and the anguish of self-annihilation in crisp, vivid prose that is free of self-pity or self-aggrandizement. The book chronicles his experience at the brink, but it also describes the larger face of how little we really know of suicide and its multiplicity of causes, and how little we understand of our agency over our own lives or deaths. It is a compelling, heart-breaking, and redemptive read and it shimmers in its narratives of both loss and hope."
Andrew Solomon, author of Far From the Tree

"Bracing... A heart-rending and edifying portrait of the pain of mental illness."
Michael Mewshaw, Washington Post

"As a memoir, the book is superb, rich with all the details and vocabularies that comprise any de-mystification of illness."
Patrick Nathan, Boston Globe

"[With] an unflinching portrait of his psychosis, hospitalization and treatment...Antrim aims not only to destigmatize mental illness but also to strip away the hushed-whispers mystery surrounding suicide."
Sandra Sobeiraj Westfall, People Magazine

"A profound, courageous, compassionate masterpiece that will, I think and I hope, change the way we think about suicide forever. What Antrim brings powerfully to bear in this inspiring and essential book is the great writer’s habits of precision and unwavering honesty. This book is an act of generosity; Antrim is trying to tell us something deeply true not just about the suicidal, but about all of us; about our culture, about the way we live, about how we might lead better, more authentic, more connected lives."
George Saunders, author of Lincoln in the Bardo

"Donald Antrim's memoir, bringing us close to the heart of the matter and giving us a new perspective, is a clear-eyed and unsentimental study of one of the most mysterious and misunderstood human experiences. It is what one expects from great art: life-sustaining and life-confirming."
Yiyun Li, author of Where Reasons End

"Donald Antrim has written an important, beautiful book, one that serves to let all of us to travel into the darkness and emerge with a deeper, more empathetic understanding of the nature of the suicide, the urge for self-nullification. Books like these are a gift, a tool, and might help save us from tragedy by opening up a door to painful truth... Suicide is a word that must be spoken―in clear terms, in loud voices―and seen in a clear, honest light;
One Friday in April is an important new source of light."
David Means, author of Hystopia and Instructions for a Funeral

About the Author

Donald Antrim is the author of three novels, including Elect Mr. Robinson for a Better World, and one previous memoir, The Afterlife. He has received fellowships from the MacArthur Foundation and the National Endowment for the Arts, among others. He lives in Brooklyn, NY.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B08X2YSS23
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ W. W. Norton & Company (October 12, 2021)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ October 12, 2021
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 704 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 141 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 166 ratings

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Donald Antrim
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Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
4.3 out of 5
166 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on December 21, 2021
Decades ago when I was still teaching, I was fortunate enough to have attended workshops focused on what to say to teenagers who might be considering suicide. Essentially this: Don't be afraid of asking this question, "Are you considering suicide?" Or something similar. There are so many signs to look for. Recently a member of my family has considered this option and, fortunately, has had treatment that hopefully will work to prevent this person from carrying out a plan. This brave memoir speaks to me as no other book has about suicide ideation and the author's attempt at ending his life. Unfortunately the topic remains such a taboo for so many in this country. And then there are the sanctimonious religions that condemn it as a sin. I highly recommend this memoir because it is so honest--and so readable. I have read many of his stories in The New Yorker and wondered whether he had suicidal tendencies since many of the stories focus around characters who do. What a gift this book is to those of us who care about preventing suicides.
5 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on October 19, 2022
Recommend for both families and individuals who suffer from suicidal tendencies
Reviewed in the United States on June 17, 2022
The subject of suicide is sensitive and hard to discuss or define. However, in this book, the author takes you along on the journey of suicide. It is a riveting account of one person's struggle with the demon of suicide and the details provided are at once frightening and hopeful. I highly recommend this book
Reviewed in the United States on February 18, 2022
can someone please just explain to me the ACTION that is happening in the beginning? he is hanging from a roof, letting go, and catching a “railing,” repeatedly, and getting blisters from doing so? and just kinda checks out the yard and the neighbors having cocktails on their roof? this man is just hanging from a fire escape, letting go and then catching himself again, somehow? it feels so unbelievable. and i keep rereading that bit over and over again to reorient myself and it just reads so wobbly. what “railing” (he just says “railing” !) is he catching? the fire escape LADDER’S railing??? or the railing that surrounds the actual bit of landing? is he spider man? its a true story so i feel weird critiquing this, and i never leave reviews, but i am having a hard time with this opening sequence and am trying hard to not let it inform my feelings for the rest of the book.
3 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on January 13, 2022
The feelings are raw and real and very relatable for anyone at any point in life where paths have ended and no new road is yet visible and happiness seems untouchable
4 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on January 6, 2023
Very interesting take on a very hard subject. Not medical or overly scientific just really really human. Wish it was longer but some how it was just long enough.
One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on May 28, 2022
This book changed my perspective on suicide. My father’s suicide was 30 years ago but it still haunts me. This book turns the topic around for examination from another angle. Finally, another way to think about suicide and those who are afflicted with it. Read this book if your life has been affected by suicide in any way, including your own suicidal tendencies. It helped me.
One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on October 25, 2021
I started out a bit uneasy and quickly the author became a friend. His straightforward honesty became comforting. Thank you for putting your/human truth on the page.
2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Translate all reviews to English
Jennifer G.
5.0 out of 5 stars All too realistic
Reviewed in Canada on November 3, 2022
A beautifully written book which captures the reality of living life with depression.
David S.
5.0 out of 5 stars Powerful and well written
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 16, 2021
This was one of many books that piqued my interest when I saw it on year-end reading lists, but one of the relatively few where I read the entire kjndle sample and then purchased the book. I'm glad I did. Although the subject matter was quite heavy in places, I really appreciated the author's transparency and frankness. It has changed my way of thinking about certain things, so I would say that the author achieved his goal. I thought the writing style was very good, and the last page in particular was a masterpiece.
Amazon Kunde
5.0 out of 5 stars Beeindruckende Literatur und Destigmatisierungslektüre
Reviewed in Germany on October 15, 2021
Der Autor ist eine Entdeckung für mich. Ich wollte nur kurz rein- und wieder rausblättern, aber der Stil hat mich fasziniert und so habe ich das Buch in einem Rutsch durchgelesen.
One person found this helpful
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