This book is a well written tale of personal struggle that takes you on a ride of emotions. Hanwei's childhood in the factory town presents a unique glimpse of life in China in the 80s. The painful childhood with the abusive father is sometimes hard to read, but the resilience of the protagonist is inspiring.
The book makes you think - did the childhood hurt or help Hanwei? A kid that grew up in traditional family circumstances in China would have had a really tough time coming out and living his life as a gay man. But going through the embarrassment in childhood and facing it boldly has made Hanwei's later life simpler, letting him be true to self and experience life to the fullest. If you have to go through that struggle, isn't it better to get it over with early in your life rather than waste half your life trying to be someone you are not?
This is by no means the story of an ordinary gay man that grew up in China. It presents many contradictions rather skillfully. Hanwei's academic success allowed him to get out of the factory town and made his adult life much easier, but could he have been as successful without his father introducing him to science and math early on in his life?
The book could have benefited by expanding on Rulans's character. After all, she is the one that suffered the most, so it would have been nice to give her more page time than leaving her just as a side note. In fact, in some of his later relationships, it feels like Hanwei didn't fight hard enough - almost makes you wish Rulan was there, like when she encouraged him to confront his father when he seemed reluctant to do so. But this is not a story of a hero; it is the story of an ordinary man having to struggle through unique circumstances. That, in a way, makes the book more relatable and inspiring.
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About the author
A must read exciting yet heart warming novel
Sitting in my yard and reading this book, has become my weekend habit. It has not only brought me laughters, but also unstoppable tears. With the same cultural background as the author, I find this book highly relatable to my life. Life is not easy for gay people living in China, especially the ones who are brave enough to come out to their family and friends and be their truly selves. I feel so pitiful reading how his gay father has treated him, but also admiring how the author has grown up to be a successful gay young man finally finding his heartland. Last but not least, the interesting stories about the cultural differences between China and US, and the erotic homosexual scenes have added some spices to this well written true life story based masterpiece.
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on September 5, 2022
- Reviewed in the United States on October 29, 2022
- Reviewed in the United States on August 26, 2022
- Reviewed in the United States on August 14, 2022
Sitting in my yard and reading this book, has become my weekend habit. It has not only brought me laughters, but also unstoppable tears. With the same cultural background as the author, I find this book highly relatable to my life. Life is not easy for gay people living in China, especially the ones who are brave enough to come out to their family and friends and be their truly selves. I feel so pitiful reading how his gay father has treated him, but also admiring how the author has grown up to be a successful gay young man finally finding his heartland. Last but not least, the interesting stories about the cultural differences between China and US, and the erotic homosexual scenes have added some spices to this well written true life story based masterpiece.
A must read exciting yet heart warming novel
Reviewed in the United States on August 14, 2022
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- Reviewed in the United States on January 3, 2024
Top reviews from other countries
- ShaowenReviewed in Australia on September 4, 2022
A book/personal story both humble and big.
A book that glued me from the beginning to the end. A book that makes me pause, think and reflect.ShaowenA book/personal story both humble and big.
Reviewed in Australia on September 4, 2022
A boy who grew up with a gay father and a vulnerable/strong mother; a factory town during an unique era in China’ history; an extremely intelligent student throughout his academic life; a youth in the top university in China and one of the best in the world; secret and repressive life as a Chinese homosexual; explicit description of LGBA life in California; struggles and adaption from the East to the West; politics and human rights; 2009 WFC; interracial love and same-sex marriage……
Under all those eye-catching plots is the journey of an ordinary individual who learned, acknowledged, accepted himself, who struggled through and fought against the challenges his extraordinary life brought to him; who learned to receive and to give, to love and to be loved, and who eventually reached his own heartland.
This is a book for anyone who is not only humble enough to learn about life of another human being but also large enough to care for humanity.
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